Xander paused just inside the back door of the Magic Box, hearing Buffy as usual long before he could see her.

"Ever since Anya left, it's like he doesn't care."

*Huh. I wonder who they could possibly be talking about.*

For a moment, Xander considered turning around and taking him and his donuts home. But then, he'd just get home to a peeved message on his answering machine from Buffy.

"But he does care, Buffy. He cares about hygiene, a good job, and improved personal grooming as well as-"

"Donuts!" Xander announced, deciding that donut delivery was the better part of valor when the alternative was listening to Anya detail everything she knew about her gay friend Xander's recent activities. Because he so didn't want to get into that discussion again. It always made him think of Larry in funny ways. "Sugary goodness, ladies? And extra jelly-filled for the gentleman in the corner," he added for Giles, who only gave him a bemused smile.

"Don't think you can buy me off with donuts." Buffy's lower lip stuck out in a pout, and Xander realized that the look she was giving him through her eyelashes probably would have melted him right into the floor a couple of years ago.

Instead of melting this time, he offered the box. "Not even chocolate with sprinkles?"

"Well...maybe." She took the donut, flouncing into a chair and watching Xander set the box in the middle of the table as she picked off the sprinkles and ate them one by one. "But we miss you, Xand."

"Why?"

"Because you're Xander," Willow said, reaching past him for a cruller.

"So?" Xander realized that they were all staring at him and shrugged. "Look, I'm not trying to get you to pity me or anything, but why? You don't want me on patrol. I'm not research guy-"

"But you bring the best donuts!"

"And that was about the most emasculating thing you could possibly have said. Thank you, Buff." Xander slumped down onto a bench.

"Well maybe we just like having you around."

"No offence, Willow, but that doesn't do much to soothe my manly pride."

The shop door slammed behind a cloud of smoke as Spike stalked in, emerging from beneath his blanket and dumping it on the floor.

"And my day is now complete." Buffy folded her arms, half eaten donut still held delicately in one small hand.

"Oh. Did I come at a bad time?" Spike spared only a moment to glance at her, grabbing a jelly donut on his way past the table and perching himself on the stairs.

"Always."

Spike raised the donut in a toast. "Cheers, then!"

Xander tried not to look at Spike, or at least tried not to look at him long enough to remember the unexpected lingering heat of Spike's cock in his mouth, or the lingering pain in his scalp where Spike had gripped, and ripped his way to orgasm the night before.

It was amazingly easy, Xander found, to put those thoughts out of his head once Buffy spoke again.

"And what brings you crawling out of your hole? Or are you just here to stalk me again?" Buffy fixed Spike with her best 'answer now or I stake you,' glare, eyebrows raised.

"I'll have you know I've found more productive things to do with my time than waste it standing around outside of your house, Slayer."

"And I'm supposed to take your say-so why?" Buffy tossed her donut back into the box, and picked up a stake, toying with it meaningfully enough to make Xander tense in his seat, earning himself a strange look from Spike that he prayed didn't mean anything beyond idle curiosity.

Spike shrugged, leaning back on a higher step and taking a bite of his donut, flashing Buffy a provocative red jelly grin. "Take it or don't, Slayer. Don't make no difference, no-how to me. Got someone better now."

"Harmony?"

Spike swiveled slowly. "As a matter of fact, no. Someone actually interested in me."

Xander felt his heart beat double-time and looked up at Spike with wide eyes. *Come on. Come on. Say it's a guy you met two nights ago!*

"Er, Spike," Giles said, resting a hand on what Xander was relieved to notice was Buffy's stake arm. "If you're not here for Buffy, what are you doing here?"

*Dammit! No! Back to the other topic! I liked the other topic!* Xander tightened his hold on an eclair until the filling squished out both ends and oozed over the table. Both Willow and Tara gave him strange looks.

"What makes you think I'm here for anything?"

"Perhaps the fact that none of us can remember a time when you came here without wanting something."

"Oh." Spike looked put-out for a moment, and cocked his head before brightening. "Wouldn't mind some extra dosh. Sure there aren't any big nasties you could use my help killing?"

"Well, a-as a matter of fact, Spike, we were just sitting down to research this latest rash of - I suppose you could call them..." Giles looked pained, taking off his glasses for a sound cleaning, and Xander leaned forward because if it could get Giles stammering and cleaning his glasses, it had to be good.

"Radioactive were-hamsters," Willow finished.

Giles grimaced. "Which, I'm certain, are neither radioactive, nor were, nor hamsters. We simply haven't located their proper name yet."

"Well, yeah, but they're all grrr! and glowy and 'crush now!'" Willow held up her hands like two impressively un-frightening sets of claws.

"Nevertheless, they are not-"

Spike interrupted. "Dresen'k demons."

"What, now?"

Anya brightened, bustling out from behind the counter. "Oh! That's right." She took Giles's arm, smiling up at him. "Honey, you remember the book you were reading last night before-"

"You distracted me?" Giles slipped in smoothly. Very smoothly. Xander had to admire it, though the way Anya was blushing and giving Giles her 'sex, now' look still gave the game away. "Yes. Yes, I do recall, but the book was-"

Anya waved a hand. "Oh, it's still under the duvet in the corner. Anyway, a couple of pages later in that book, there's an entry on Dresen'k demons. Usually, they're a lot less hairy, but these must be young ones."

Spike nodded, leaning back on the steps. His legs were spread in a way that made Xander's mouth water, and he desperately hoped that he hadn't been staring too obviously at Spike's crotch. Because now, the fantasies about Spike had a whole lotta “real” backing them up.

*It's pink.* His brain unhelpfully supplied, and Xander shut his eyes with a groan, burying his face in his arms on the table because there was no way he was going to stop remembering now. Spike's size. Just big enough to make his jaw still ache the next day. And his scalp still tingled from its morning brushing, and-

Xander's head snapped up. *He hurt me!* Spike was still lounging on the steps, now with a lit cigarette and an expression of satisfaction as he watched the Scoobies squabble. *Because that's the only damage he can do - with the chip. But-*

Spike turned to look at Xander with one eyebrow upraised, and Xander snatched down the hand that had been creeping up to his sore scalp. Then, he remembered what Spike had asked him. Spike hadn't asked 'who are you?'. He'd asked 'what are you?.

Xander put a hand over the pendant, staring back at Spike with wide eyes. Because other than 'hopelessly, stupidly in lust with Spike', he didn't have an answer.