Dead Guy Running

[27th precinct; the place is packed]

[a bride & groom are being led in, hand in hand]

Drunk Man : [sings]   There goes the bride.

Hooker : Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Welsh: [to bride]
  Scuse me. [bride turns around – it’s a man!]  Carry on. [bangs into Dewey’s hockey stick]  Ow!
Dewey: Sorry, sir.
Welsh: Is Vecchio back yet?
Dewey: He wouldn’t go.
Welsh: I told you to take him to the hospital.
Dewey: He wouldn’t go!
Welsh: What’s that?
Dewey: What’s what?
Welsh: Your eye. [it’s blackened]
Dewey: I took a puck. What happened to your thumb? [it’s heavily bandaged]
Welsh: Never mind.
Francesca: Sir, they got him. Kuzma. They got him.
Welsh: Yeah!

[cops all cheer]
[Kowalski enters]
Welsh: They got Kuzma. Huey’s bringing him in now.
Ray: Five minutes alone with him is all I want.
Welsh: How’s your ear? [it’s bandaged]
Ray: I’ll live. Just five minutes.
Welsh: You’re off the case!
Ray: I’m off the case? Why-what-why-why-why?
Welsh: Huey’s collar now.
Ray: Look, Kuzma was my collar. I had him!
Welsh: Yeah, you had him and you lost him.
Ray: But he practically bit my ear off!
Welsh: Exactly, now go home.
Ray: There’s nothing wrong with me.
Welsh: Oh yeah? You’re fine, huh? Then make yourself useful. When the Feds find out we got Kuzma, they’re gonna turn this into a circus, alright? Let’s see how fast you can clean this room up. [exits]
Ray: How about a general amnesty? No. [announces]
  Okay!....Stanley Smith, you are our next contestant on “Prison Life.” Come on down! [a young man turns around]  You Stanley Smith? You Sta-- Okay, you can stay cuffed to the chair all day.
Stanley Smith: All right, yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s me. Come on. Cuffs were starting to hurt. Yo, what happened to your ear, man?
Ray: I asked too many stupid questions like that.
Smith: Ah, right. [makes a dash for the door]

Ray : Hey, hey, hey, hey!!!
Fraser: [stopping the escape]
  Whoa, settle down, son.
Smith: Yo, man, what are you?
Fraser: I’m a Canadian.
Ray: Thanks, Fraser.
Fraser: You’re welcome, Ray. What happened to your ear?
Ray: It’s a long story. Michael Johnson here goes into...number one.
Fraser: Oh, just a second. [removes cigarette from the drunk’s mouth]
  Sorry, sir, this is a non-smoking environment.

[drunk protests unintelligibly as they walk to interrogation room 1]

Fraser : You know, Ray, that thing with your ear kind of reminds me of a wrestling match I once saw in Great Slave Lake, where Yukon John actually bit off Haystack Calhoun’s ear, although my friend Innussiq, who knew such things, he said it was entirely fake, and that the next night Haystack Calhoun would bite off Yukon John’s ear. [chortles]
Ray: [fake chuckles]
  What is the point of that story?
Fraser: It’s just an ear anecdote.
Ray: Look, they are taking my collar! Adolph Kuzma is my collar!
Smith: Yo, yo man, what’s up? You guys for real?
Ray: Hey, we ask the tough questions around here. Keep your feet off the table and shut up, homes. All right. Possession of burglary tools, attempted theft auto, apprehended inside ‘95 Mercedes 280 SL.
Smith: I was just looking for a place to sleep, that’s all.
Ray: So you broke into a hundred thousand dollar car.
Smith: Yeah, I did. Get me my lawyer.
Ray: Oh, you got no place to sleep, but...you got a lawyer on retainer. Good one.
[Kowalski goes to the window, sees Kuzma being brought in]

Ray : Kuzma, you little freak show, come on, come on! Come on! Come on!
[Kowalski charges at Kuzma, but Welsh restrains him]

Welsh : Get him out of here!! Take it easy! [to Fraser]  Calm him down, would ya?

[Kowalski is shoved into interview 1; he punches a hole the wall]
Fraser: All right?
Ray: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Smith : It’s like a zoo up in here!

[Kowalski growls at him]
[Dief barks at the hole Kowalski has made; Fraser pulls away some of the drywall and sees a plastic-wrapped body hidden inside]
Ray: What’s going on?
Fraser: Oh dear.


[interrogation room 1; Fraser & Kowalski lift the body out of the wall]
Fraser: Careful, Ray, careful.
Ray: Like I’m gonna hurt him.
Fraser: No, you’re standing on my foot.

Ray : Oh.

Fraser : Let’s set him down.
[Dief barks at Stanley, who is heading for the door]

Fraser : Whoa. sit down, sir. Sit down, slowly. Sudden movements set him off.
Smith: Okay. [very slowly moves to the table]
[Fraser cuts open the plastic bag and looks intently at the body]
Fraser: Hmm.
Ray: You know the guy?
Fraser: No, I don’t believe so.
Ray: What’s with the ‘hmm’?
Fraser: It’s just an interesting smell.
Smith: You guys look a little busy, y’know what I’m saying? Why don’t I just split?
Ray: Look, shut up and sit down! Or you go in the wall.
Smith: Yeah right, okay. [sits]
Ray: All right, I’m gonna go get Welsh.
Fraser: Why?
Ray: Well obviously, we got a dead body here.
Fraser: Oh, right you are.
[Frannie enters, and drops her files]
Francesca: Oh my god, oh my god!
  He killed him! Oh my god! [runs out, hysterical]
Fraser: Give me five minutes.
Ray: Five.

[Fraser exits]
Smith: Hey, hey, listen, man, I know my rights, all right? I ain’t got to stay in no room with no dead guy!
Ray: No, you don’t. We can take you down to the cage, and you can stay in with the skinheads, the crackheads, and the bikers who’re dusting. You prefer that?
Smith: All right. I’m cool.

Ray : You’re cool?

Smith : Yeah, yeah, I’ll stay.

Ray : All right. Nice.


[corridor]
Francesca: His name is Guy Rankin. He’s from the neighborhood. We heard that, uh, he was into a lot of bad stuff, but you hear a lot of things. He was okay. He was-he was kind of funny, actually, he used to do these impressions of, you know, Mr. Frank Sinatra and stuff. Anyway, one night he asked me out for a drink. I thought we were going out for a drink, but...I guess he thought...we were going out for...a drink. We got outside the house, and um, I could handle him at first, cause you know, he wouldn’t keep his hands off me. [near tears]
  But then he really started to hurt me, and that’s when Ray came...came outside. He just went crazy. He was like, um, Sonny in The Godfather, remember, when Sonny found out that his sister Connie was being beaten up by Carlo? [Fraser shakes his head]  Ray was just like that. I had to pull him off so that Guy could get out. Anyway, after that, um, he was just waiting for Guy to make a mistake, and when he found out that he was shaking down some of the local merchants, he hauled him in.
Fraser: And you think Ray killed him?
[Frannie nods]
Fraser: What makes you think that?
Francesca: Because he said he was going to.


[interrogation room 1]
Smith: Damn, man, what is that smell?
Ray: Dead guy. They smell.
Smith: Nah nah nah, not that smell.
[Fraser enters]
Fraser: It’s shellac. It’s made out of bugs. It’s very effective as a wood treatment for protecting wharf pilings from the effects of permafrost.
Ray: Fraser, what the hell is going on?
Smith: Yeah, Fraser. [Kowalski gives him a ‘look’]
Fraser: Ray, can I have a word with you in private?
Ray: [to Stanley]
  You sit there.
Smith: No no no, whoa whoa whoa, nah nah nah, I ain’t gonna sit in no room with no dead guy, all right?
  This is cruel and unusual punishment, okay? This is America and I know my rights.
Ray: Oh, they always know their rights. How about the rights of the guy with the Mercedes?
Smith: He don’t need no rights. He got a Mercedes.
Ray: Sit there!


[corridor]
Ray: Look, I didn’t kill the guy, the real Ray Vecchio killed the guy.
Fraser: No, I didn’t say he killed him, I said he is a suspect.
Ray: Well, pass it over to Internal Affairs, and let them sort it out.
Fraser: No, I’m afraid I can’t do that Ray, because if Internal Affairs investigates--

[Kowalski is distracted by woman walking past]
Fraser: Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray. If Internal Affairs investigates, they will undoubtedly discover that you are not the real Ray Vecchio.
Ray: Maybe. Personally I don’t give them that much credit.
Fraser: Well, perhaps, but let’s just say that it becomes public that you’re not the real Ray Vecchio. That will probably put the real Ray Vecchio’s life at risk.
Ray: Well, what am I supposed to say? Better him than me?
Fraser: No, of course not.
Ray: What are we supposed to do?
Fraser: I am suggesting that we don’t report the body.
Ray: [whispers urgently]
  (Oh Fraser, you are talking about suppressing the evidence!)
Fraser: (No, delaying.)
Ray: (Suppressing!)
Fraser: (Delaying. Delaying reporting the body to give us enough time to find the real killer.)
Ray: (You’re not playing with a full mukluk, Fraser. How long do you think we can keep a dead body hidden in a police station?)
Fraser: (Well, if you could hang onto that room at least until the end of your shift.)
[Welsh appears]
Welsh: Oh, a little coffee break?
  Fraser: No, sir. No, no, we’re just, uh, strategizing.
Welsh: I need that room.
Ray: The kid’s just starting to open up, sir.
Welsh: Oh good, good, I’ll wait until the movie comes out. Get rid of him!
[Fraser follows Welsh through the bullpen]
Fraser: Sir, I wonder if I could perhaps have a word with you?
Welsh: I am very busy, Constable.
Fraser: I understand that, sir, but it is extremely important.
Welsh: [sighs]
  What is it?
Fraser: Well, sir, I have a hypothetical question.
Welsh: Oh great, hypothetical and important.
Fraser: Well, some questions can be both.
 

[they enter Welsh’s office]  

Fraser : If the need were to arise, sir, to speak to Ray Vecchio, the real Ray Vecchio, in person, would that be possible?
Welsh: If Ray Vecchio’s mother were on her deathbed, and her last dying wish was to see her son’s face again, hear his voice just one last time, I would send the new Ray Vecchio. Does that answer your question?
Fraser: Yes, sir. What happened to your thumb?
Welsh: Never mind.


[bullpen; Frannie gives Fraser a picture of Rankin]
Francesca: Okay, I printed this up.
  I looked for the file, I can’t find it anywhere, by name, by date, nothing.
Fraser: Are you sure he was booked?
Francesca: Yeah, I’m positive. Oh, but I did find this. You were right.
Fraser: Thank you. Will you keep looking for the other files?
Francesca: Yeah, of course.
Fraser: Thank you kindly, Francesca.
Francesca: Uh, Fraser? About what I told you before, you won’t tell anybody?
Fraser: No, no, of course not.
Francesca: Okay. It’s just that those things are really kind of personal to me and I just hope that you won’t think any less of me.
Fraser: No.
Francesca: I just felt I could really–I could really talk to you, you know. I don’t know, I guess I thought talking to a Mountie from Canada is kinda like talking to a priest.
Fraser: Well no, not exactly.
Francesca: I mean, not that I think of you as a priest, ‘cause, you know...I don’t. I think of you...I think of you as a man.
Fraser: Ah.
Francesca: Not that priests aren’t men, it’s just that priests can’t do...certain things.
Fraser: Well, not necessarily. You know there was a Father Macaulay of Fort Assiniboia, and he once tracked a cougar for five weeks over 300 miles--
Francesca: No, Fraser, no. Those aren’t exactly the things I’m referring to. [gives him a ‘look’]
Fraser: Oh. Oh, I see. Right. Um. [clears throat]
  Excuse me.
Francesca: Fraser, is my brother gonna be okay?
Fraser: Oh yes, sure, sure. [flustered, backing rapidly away]
  Yeah.


[interrogation room 1]
Smith: Can’t be doing this man.
  Can’t just hold me, know what I’m saying? That’s what they do to people in them places like Sweden, and Canada, and all of them other torture places.
Ray: Hey look, I play by my own rules, kind of a wild card, kinda kooky. Now you wanna help me?
Smith: All right. Ain’t gotta shout. Woo! How long you think he been like this?
Fraser: [entering]
  Ninety-two days.
Ray: How would you know that?
Fraser: There was electrical work done in here 92 days ago, that’s when the wall went up.
Ray: So somebody killed him, shellacked him so he wouldn’t rot, and then stuck him in a wall?
Fraser: Surprisingly effective. Looks almost as good as new.

[the body falls slowly over, and Kowalski catches him just in time]
Ray: You got a file on him?
Fraser: No, that’s what’s intriguing. There are no files.
Ray: So, Vecchio had ‘em destroyed.
Fraser: Ray Vecchio didn’t do this.
Ray: How can you be so sure?
Fraser: Because the plastic was sucked into the man’s mouth and his throat. That means he was alive when they put him in the wall.
Smith: Ooh, man!
Fraser: Ray Vecchio’s not capable of an act so monstrous, so heinous, so repulsive, so repugnant to the human condition, so.... Can I borrow your car?
Ray: Why?
Fraser: Well, in the absence of any other leads, and time being the factor that it is, I think it expedient that I have a chat with a Mr. Dinardo.
Ray: Who?
Fraser: He owns the company that did the drywalling.
Ray: Take a shortcut. I don’t know how long I can keep this room.
Fraser: Understood. Oh, it’s...

Ray : [miming actions with hands]  Brake, gas. Brake, gas. Careful.
[Fraser exits]

[*thump* from next door]
Ray: Oh, that’s just one of my fellow officers interviewing a suspect.


[interrogation room 2]
Dewey: All right, let’s try this again.
  Were you the shooter?

[Kuzma rams himself against the wall]

Huey : Were you on Alcorn Street when the cop was shot?

[Kuzma does it again]

Dewey : How long do you cook a 14 pound turkey?

[Kuzma does it again]

[Welsh enters]
Welsh: What’s going on?
Dewey: Ask him a question. Any question.
[Welsh forces Kuzma into a chair]
 

Welsh : Is your name Kuzma? General Adolph Kuzma of the American Patriots Army?
[Kuzma slams head on table]
Welsh: Ah, nice try scumbag, but I’m not gonna make you look better for the Feds. You and your psycho army, you think you can go around blowing up banks and shooting cops, huh? Think our laws don’t apply to you? Well you better thank God for those laws; it’s the only thing keeping you alive. Nice face. Tell me something. Five weeks ago the Feds had you surrounded at Diamondback Ridge, but you escaped. It was a miracle. What, you make a deal with the Feds? Huh?! You think they’re gonna waltz in here and save you? I got news for you. You killed a Chicago cop. You’re not gonna leave here, ever. Not ‘til they put a needle in your arm.
Dewey: He might enjoy that, sir.

[Kuzma licks Welsh on the cheek]
Welsh: There. Don’t clean him up. Just keep asking him questions. Huey!


[corridor]
Welsh: Did he say anything in there? Did he ask for a lawyer?
Huey: No. I think he’s going for insanity.

Francesca : Sir, FBI’s on the phone.
Welsh: All right. See if you can locate the whereabouts of Assistant State’s Attorney Kowalski. All right?
[Frannie exits]
Welsh: All right, the games begin. Get him talking about something, doesn’t matter. ‘Kay?
  If we can get him started, it’ll give us reason to keep the Feds out.
Huey: I don’t think he’s gonna say anything.
Welsh: Get him talking.
Huey: All right.


[Welsh knocks on door of interrogation room 1; Kowalski appears]
Welsh: Look, I imagine the Feds, within the hour, will be here to see our friend Kuzma. I want to be privy to that conversation from in there. I need this room.
Ray: Yes, sir.


[front desk]
Desk Sergeant: [on phone]
  You didn’t know? Margaret Moynahan told me....Well she heard it from Jerry Kovacs....Yeah.
[Fraser shows her a picture of Rankin]
Desk Sergeant: So what did he do anyway?
Fraser: Well, we’re not sure exactly. But if you could just cast your mind back 92 days ago.
Desk Sergeant: 92 days ago? That would be, uh, Tuesday night, wouldn’t it?
Fraser: Yes.
Desk Sergeant: See, I know that because Darlene Carmichael in accounting? She had her baby three months premature, and I was just saying to Laurie in personnel how the spicy pizza we had at the shower – which was on a Tuesday night – probably induced the contractions, you know, causing the premature labor.
Fraser: [impatiently]
  Yes, I’m quite sure you’re right. About the man in the picture?

[phone rings]
Desk Sergeant: Oh, yeah. Let me think about it.
Fraser: Right. [picks up unanswered phone & hands it to her]
  Thank you kindly.
Desk Sergeant: No problem. Listen, if I come up with anything, I’ll give you a call. [Fraser gives her a ‘thumbs-up’]
  District 27.


[Kowalski’s car]
Fraser: [to Dief]
  In the back. In the-- [sighs, then gets in]
[Robert Fraser clears throat, and Fraser turns around]
Robert Fraser: You’re getting roped in, son.
Fraser: Look, I know what you’re thinking, ordinarily I would agree, but these are very special circumstances.
Robert Fraser: Oh, they always are, but concealing evidence in a murder investigation. I thought I taught you how to uphold the law.
Fraser: And I will.
Robert Fraser: When?
Fraser: [pause]
  Later today.
Robert Fraser: You’ve got to live by the principles you protect. Otherwise everything caves in, like an igloo during spring thaw.
Fraser: Look, I know what I’m doing, Dad. You just have to trust me.
Robert Fraser: Oh no, that’s where you’re wrong. I don’t have to trust anyone anymore. I’m dead. But you’ve got to trust yourself. One step in the wrong direction and it snowballs. Next thing, you’ll be lying to cover your tracks. And when cops are involved in murder, gets even uglier. I was gunned down by one of our own on my own turf. Well, ice cap. Remember?
Fraser: I remember.
Robert Fraser: I trusted Gerard for the better part of 30 years. It wasn’t easy to accept what he had become.
Fraser: Ray didn’t kill anybody.
Robert Fraser: If that’s true, then stay within the law.
Fraser: I don’t have any choice.
Robert Fraser: That’s where you’re wrong.
Fraser: You want to know something, Dad-- [turns around to find father has disappeared]
  Great. [to Dief]  Look, I’m sorry I shouted at you, I didn’t realize he was back there. All right, here we go. 

[puts car in reverse and almost crashes into another car] 

Driver : [honks horn]  Idiot!

[Fraser waves at driver apologetically] 

Fraser : Brake gas-- No, gas brake, gas brake.


[construction site]
Dinardo: [on cell phone]
  Yeah, Frank, don’t worry about it, I mean if your kid’s sick, your kid’s sick. Nothing you can do about it....Yeah, take a coupla days off. All right? See ya then. [over radio to secretary]  Marilyn, wanna do me a favor? Mangioni’s kid’s sick. You wanna send her over a teddy bear or something?
Marilyn: [voice]
  Frank’s kid is 14.
Dinardo: Well, send her something.
Marilyn: [voice]
  Okay.
Dinardo: [to Fraser]
  Who are you?
Fraser: Good day, my name is Constable Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. I first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my--
[truck horn honks]
Dinardo: Maurice! No! You wanna go in Row B!
Fraser: It’s not really important, sir. What is important is that 3 months ago you did some renovations, drywalling to be exact, at Chicago PD, District 27. I wonder if it’s possible for me to speak to the men who did that job.
Dinardo: You must be joking. I can’t remember 3 months ago. I got 18 crews out here today.
Fraser: It’s very important, sir.
Dinardo: All right. You give me the name of your tailors, and I give you the number.
[into radio]
  Marilyn, listen, pull out a file, Chicago PD, about 3 months ago.  [to Fraser]  Is there a problem with something? I mean, I got no calls, nobody’s complained or anything.
Fraser: No, it’s strictly routine, sir. Do you, by any chance, recognize this man? [shows a picture of Rankin]
Dinardo: Is he one of the guys? To tell you the truth, I don’t recognize anybody that works for me, my friend. Here we go. [Marilyn hands over the file]
  It’s nice, huh? Here we are. Tom Harvey was the foreman, the crew he never listed. Tom, well, lots of times we pick up guys at the local hospitals, give them a day’s work, hod carriers and such, puts a little money in their pockets, know what I mean?
Fraser: Well, do you know where I can contact this Mr. Harvey?
Dinardo: Had to let him go. Last I remember, he was in one of those flophouses over on Diversey, and he’s probably long gone by now. Anyway, Marilyn’ll give you the address if you want, I gotta get back, and get that dog out of here. [shouts]
  Lou! You don’t understand English?


[interrogation room 1]

[Kowalski & Stanley are moving the body into a chair]  

Smith : Yeah, I heard what the man said, Ray. Yeah, you need me! Now I wanna make a new deal!

Ray : Here’s the deal. You give me the day, I give you the rest of your life.

Smith : What, you let me walk, man?

Ray : I don’t kill ya.
[knock knock knock; Kowalski opens the door]
Francesca: Hi. [gives Kowalski a file]
  I’m not gonna come in if that’s okay. Where is he?
Ray: Behind the door. [looks at the file]
Francesca: Okay. I found the Rankin file misplaced way at the back.
Ray: Thanks. [reads]
  Assistant State’s Attorney Stella Kowalski? It was Stella’s case?
Francesca: Hey, is Fraser back?
Ray: No.
Francesca: Okay. Ray didn’t do this.
[Kowalski shuts door]
Smith: Hoo yeah. Hey, let me ask you something. She said, ‘Ray didn’t do this.’
Ray: Right.
Smith: But I thought you was Ray.
Ray: Like there’s only one Stanley Smith in the world?
Smith: Yeah, that’s true. She’s a babe though, huh, File Lady?
Ray: Hey! That’s my sister.
Smith: Oh!
  I’m sorry, I didn’t know.
Ray: [reading Rankin’s file]
  Extortion. Carrying a concealed weapon. Resisting arrest. And he walks?
Smith: Yeah, well, like me, you probably had no evidence.
Ray: Eyewitness testimony. Marked bills. Wire tap. This is as good as it gets. How the hell do you walk on charges like that?
Smith: What, you asking me?
Ray: Do you wanna help me, or do you wanna stare at the dead guy all day?
Smith: Yeah, that’s true. All right. Check this out. Maybe he got off on one of them, um, one of them technicalities.
Ray: Yeah yeah yeah like, uh...
Smith: Uh...
Ray: I mean, he was here on the day that the wall went up, and he got a walk.
Smith: Well yo, he didn’t walk too far, you know what I’m saying? [laughs & raises his hand for high five, but Kowalski just gives him a look]
[knock knock knock]
Stella: Ray. I was looking for Lieutenant Welsh. What happened to your ear?
Ray: Nothing. You’re here for Kuzma?
Stella: Yes.
Ray: That was my collar!
Stella: I heard it was Huey’s. Oh my God, what is that smell?
Smith: Hey, how you doing?
  We haven’t been introduced, my name is Stanley Smith, I been working on a case with Ray here.
Ray: Detective Smith?
Smith: Yeah?
Ray: Sit down.
Smith: Okay. I’ll be over here.
Stella: See you later, Ray.
[Kowalski follows Stella into corridor]
Ray: Stella?
Stella: I’m working.
Ray: This is about work. Remember a few months ago you handled a case, a guy named Guy Rankin? Vecchio and Huey were the arresting officers. Extortion, concealed weapon, and the guy walked. You remember anything about that? This is nice. [feels her suit]
Stella: Yeah, I do. They failed to read him his rights.
Ray: Vecchio and Huey screwed up on the Miranda? You believe that?
Stella: All I know is Rankin said they didn’t read him his rights and they agreed with him, so he walked. Maybe the fact that Ray Vecchio used his face for a punching bag had something to do with it. I don’t know. I gotta go.

[she knocks & enters interrogation room 2]


[interrogation room 1]
Smith: [wearing Fraser’s Stetson]
  Yo, man. What’s up, scout? [grins & gives the three-fingered scout salute]
Ray: What do you think you’re doing?! The hat’s sacred, okay? [grabs the hat]
Smith: Yo, man, just joking around. Hey yo, you know that girl man?
  She’s a babe, what’s up?
Ray: My wife.
Smith: Ah man, you really know how to pick ‘em, huh?
Ray: My EX-wife.
Smith: Whoo, I can see you’re the man to get to know around here, huh.
[*thud* from next door and someone screams]

Huey : Goddammit, son of a bitch!! Cuff him behind his back!

[Kowalski runs out; Stella is standing at the door; Huey comes out holding his face]

Huey : Son of a bitch broke my jaw!

Dewey : [voice]   Okay, big mouth. You had your chance!
Ray: Huey, I gotta ask you something.
Huey: Let it go, Vecchio!
Ray: [to Stanley]
  Back in there. [pushes Stanley back into room; then to a uniformed cop] Can you watch that door? [to Huey]  It’s not about the collar!

[men’s room; Huey is tending to his jaw]
Ray: Hey, how can you not remember 3 months ago? You, Vecchio, Guy Rankin. He was released. You forgot to read him his rights. Look, I found the file, Jack.
Huey: What the hell is the matter with you? You trying to get a job in Internal Affairs or what?
Ray: I’m gonna let that pass. Once.
Huey: Look, Ray Vecchio had some personal thing with Rankin. I didn’t know. I didn’t ask. So he roughed him up a little. All I know is Rankin walked out of here in one piece. Now if no one has seen him since...guys like him, who misses ‘em?


[bullpen]

Welsh : I don’t tell you what to do, and the FBI doesn’t tell me what to do. [closes office door]

[Fraser enters squad room, Frannie falls into step with him]
Francesca: Fraser, the FBI’s here and Welsh wants the room. We have to move him.

[they change direction]
Fraser: Understood.

 
[interrogation room 1; Kowalski puts up a poster over the hole]
Ray: She’s no Rita Hayworth, but she gets the job done.
Fraser: [preparing Rankin to be moved]
  You know, Ray, I had another friend, well, acquaintance really. Anyway, one day he was fishing, and he ripped his ear off with a hula popper. [to Stanley]  Coat, please. Anyway, he was able to sew it back on with some 8 pound test monofilament. Unfortunately, he sewed it on backwards, and from that day forward he claims he was dyslexic.
Ray: What is the point of that story, Fraser?
  I don’t get that.
Fraser: There is nothing to get, Ray; it’s just another ear anecdote.
Ray: [fake chuckles]
  Cool. [to Stanley]  Glasses, come on! Where the hell do we put him?
Fraser: Well, if you want to hide an apple, you don’t put it in a bag full of golf balls.
Ray: Glasses, glasses. Oh, cooler downstairs!
Fraser: Right.
Smith: No no, that wasn’t part of the deal, man.
Ray: [grabs Stanley’s sunglasses]
  Well, I’m changing the deal.
Smith: Oh yeah, I’m changing the deal, too. [runs to the door, shouting]
  Yo, yo, we got a dead guy in here!!
[Fraser & Kowalski grab him and cover his mouth]
Ray: Shut up!
Smith: What you gonna do, hit me?
Fraser: He’s got a point, Ray.
Ray: All right, all right, I’ll make you a deal. You help us with him, you walk, no charges.
Smith: Not good enough.
[Stanley yells, and they grab him again]
Ray: What do you want?
[Stanley mumbles, and Fraser & Kowalski remove their hands]
Smith: I want y’all to deputize me.
[Frannie brings in a wheelchair]
Francesca: Come on, let’s go.
Fraser: All right, 1, 2, 3.

[Fraser & Kowalski lift Rankin into wheelchair] 

Fraser : The legs.

[Frannie bends the stiffened legs, with loud cracking sounds]
Ray: [disgusted]
  Ahh..
Francesca: I can debone a whole chicken in under 3 minutes. Okay, let’s go.

[she makes sure the coast is clear, then Fraser pushes chair down corridor]  

Francesca : I know he was a miserable bastard. But when I’m dead, I hope no one’s rolling me around in a funny outfit.
Fraser: Mr. Smith, would you get the elevator?

[they freeze as Welsh appears around the corner]  

Fraser : It’s Welsh.
Francesca: Oh God.
Fraser: Francesca! [pushes the chair towards her, but it rolls right into the wall]
Welsh: Vecchio! Where’s your prisoner?
Ray: Uh, in the can, sir.
Welsh: [to man (Bentley)]
  We’ll set up right in here.
[Welsh goes into interview 1]
Ray: Look, this is stupid, Fraser. It’s not gonna work. How the hell can you think this is gonna--
Fraser: Just stay the course. Ray Vecchio’s life may well depend on what we do here today. Godspeed. [runs off]
Ray: Godspeed. Smith!


[interrogation room 1]
[Welsh enters & sees the plaster mess on the floor]
Welsh: What is this? Did a bomb go off in here?

[corridor]
[Frannie is pushing Rankin quickly down hallway]
Francesca: Move it or lose it!
Welsh: [voice]
  Francesca!!
[she puts chair in a corner and runs to Welsh; Fraser appears]
Fraser: Where is he?
Francesca: Around the corner. [exits]
[Fraser walks down corridor – Rankin is gone]
Man: [voice]
  Call for you Sergeant? Something about giblets?
Desk Sergeant: Oh, there’ll be no parking spot for Nicky at NASA.

Fraser : Oh, dear.


Male Bride: Ooh, red.
[Fraser looks all over, and finally finds Rankin in break room, at a table with the drunk man]
Drunk Man: I says to Smokey, I’ve never even been in the freaking woods!
Fraser: Excuse me. [grabs chair and exits]
Drunk Man: Hey! We was just talking! He was trying to get me to go on the patch!
Fraser: Good idea.
Drunk Man: Hey! I’ll see ya pal, I’ll call! So long, buddy! I’ll call.

[corridor; Kowalski & Stanley approach Fraser]
Ray: We gotta wait for 10 minutes. Feds are in the room.
Smith: Man, you should see the size of their gun!
Fraser: Hang on for 15 minutes, then call.

Smith : Okay, I’ll call, I’ll call.

[Fraser takes Rankin into the men’s room & puts him in a toilet stall; he locks the stall & climbs over the partition, just as Welsh walks in]
Welsh: [to Fed]
  I’ll be right with you. [sees Fraser standing on toilet]   Fraser?
Fraser: Yes, sir?
Welsh: I guess they do these things a little different where you’re from, huh?
Fraser: In what sense, sir? [flushes toilet]
Welsh: Never mind.

[they begin to wash their hands]
Fraser: Sir, I wonder if I could ask you a question?
Welsh: Yeah, be quick.
Fraser: It involves – well, it’s a case involving Ray Vecchio, sir.
Welsh: What is it with you and Ray Vecchio today?
Fraser: Well, nothing, sir. As a matter of fact this does actually involve the former Ray Vecchio and a man named Guy Rankin.
Welsh: Leave that one alone, Fraser.
Fraser: Why is that, sir?
Welsh: It almost cost Vecchio his badge. He almost did time. The only reason he’s still a cop is that this Guy Rankin disappeared, and it’s best he stays disappeared. Oh God, what, did something die in here? Better lay off those mooseburgers.
Fraser: Yes, sir.


[Fraser exits men’s room pushing Rankin in the wheelchair; he tries to go down hallway, but the path is blocked; turns the other way, and it’s blocked, too; he finally lifts Rankin onto his back]

 

[front desk]
Desk Sergeant: [into phone]
  No no, Nicky, you’re thinking of a capon.

[Fraser runs by carrying Rankin, Frannie close on his heels] 

Desk Sergeant : Constable Fraser!

Francesca : [under breath]  Oh my god.
Fraser: Yes, sergeant?
Desk Sergeant: Listen. Listen, I’ve been thinking about what you asked me earlier, you know, did I see Rankin leaving the station that night? [into phone]
  No, no, that would be the bantam rooster. [to Fraser]  Well, I did. I’ve been thinking about it and I did, I definitely saw him leaving.
Fraser: You’re sure it was him?

Desk Sergeant : [into phone]  Oh yes, that’s right, that would be the guinea hen!

[Fraser leans far forward: Rankin is almost eye-to-eye with sergeant]

Desk Sergeant : He was one of those kinda guys, you know, kinda different-looking, odd-like? I don’t forget a face like that.
Fraser: Right, well, thank you. You’ve been very helpful.
Desk Sergeant: Any time. What’s wrong with him?
Fraser: Oh nothing, no, he’s...sleepy.
Francesca: Really sleepy.

[they exit]

Desk Sergeant : [into phone]  Yeah, 325 for about an hour and a half.


[interrogation room 1]
Ford: Come on, Adolph. Adolph! Talk to me.
Deeter: Maybe we should just hand him back over to Chicago PD.

Ford : Yeah, looks like they know what to do with him. You killed one of theirs, sonny boy. They’re dying to get their hands on you.

 

[video monitor]
Deeter: You want us to help you, you gotta give us something.
[observation room: Welsh watches agents via hidden camera]

Ford : All right, now look. We let you walk last month on condition you give up your partners, not so you could go shoot a cop! Now we can help you with that, but you’ve gotta guarantee that no one finds out about our deal, and you have got to tell us about your partners.

[Kuzma knees Ford in the groin]

Ford : Ohhhh!  Oh, mommy-mommy-mommy-mommy-mommy! Ooooh!!!

Welsh : Bentley, go get Assistant State’s Attorney Kowalski fast!

[Welsh pops out the videotape & chuckles]


[walking to Kowalski’s desk]
Ray: So you can go. That was the deal, that was the deal so you can go, so go.
Smith: Okay, but I gotta make that call.
Ray: No, I make the call.
Smith: But you said I could make the call.
Ray: No no no.
Smith: Yes you did.

Ray : No, I didn’t--

Smith : Yes you did!
Ray: No, no, no you said you were gonna make the call, I just didn’t say no.
Smith: So what? That’s the same thing as saying yes.
Ray: No, it isn’t. That’s the same thing as ignoring you.

[Stanley is very disappointed]

Ray : Okay, make the call.
Smith: Yeah, all right! [laughs]
  Woo! [sits at desk, then pauses]  What’s that number again?


[Fraser & Frannie rush Rankin to the morgue, and pause just outside the door; Mort is taking samples from a corpse’s hand & singing]

[phone rings]
Mort: [to corpse]
  Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back. [exits]
[Fraser & Frannie enter and put Rankin on gurney, covering him with sheets]

Mort : [voice]   Hello? Why yes, the offer is still open...

Francesca : These sheets have seen better days.

Fraser : Let’s go!

Francesca : No!

[they hide behind a gurney as Mort returns, singing]
Robert Fraser: Now you’re in a pickle.
Fraser: Oh, this is just what I need.
Francesca: Well you don’t have to snap at me!
Mort: [into microphone]
  Now we proceed with the... We continue with the scrapings under the nails of the left hand.
Robert Fraser: These people look dismal. Well, of course, I watch what I eat. Do my calisthenics. Get plenty of fresh air.
Fraser: At least they know their place.
Francesca: Well, what’s that supposed to mean?
Fraser: Nothing, nothing, I’m sorry.
Francesca: That’s okay. I’m kind of on edge too.
Fraser: You are?
Francesca: Yeah, well. Actually I find this kind of thrilling. You know what I mean?
Robert Fraser: Carpe diem, son.
Francesca: I mean, thrilled I guess is the word. My breath is short, short little breaths, and uh, I mean it’s just... it’s so forbidden!
Robert Fraser: I like it.
Fraser: Oh yeah, well, some people, some dead people, they are exciting. Some dead people [looks right at his dad] are not exciting.
Mort: Who’s that?
Francesca: Uh, it’s me, Mort. Constable Fraser just wanted to see the morgue.
Mort: Well, you’ve selected a good day. We have a full house. Traffic jam. A postal worker gone totally berserk. I don’t know what’s with the postal department. What drives perfectly good people to desperate acts? How hard can it be delivering mail? Ah well.
  See you around.

Francesca : Okay, bye.
[Fraser & Francesca exit quickly]
Mort: Now we are going to go to the right hand.
[Robert Fraser stands next to Mort... Mort takes scrapings from Robert’s hand, as they sing together]

[corridor]
Ray: How’s your kisser?
Huey: S’okay. The ear?
Ray: Okay. Feds still talking to Kuzma?
Huey: Yeah. Listen, the Vecchio thing you were talking about this morning? Vecchio didn’t do Rankin.
Fraser: How can you be so sure?
Huey: Lieutenant Welsh made us follow up on it. We talked to his landlord, he said he saw Rankin a couple of days after we released him, when he went around to collect his rent.
Smith: Man, a couple of days after the walls went up? That’s a pretty neat trick, huh guys?
Huey: What’s he talking about, what wall?
Ray: Uh, kid’s a psycho.
Huey: Yeah, you oughta be in the bucket.
Fraser: Did he say who the landlord was?
Huey: Offhand, I don’t remember his name, but he was the same guy that did the renovations on the interview rooms. He owns a building over on Roscoe Street.
Fraser: He lied to me.
Ray: That in itself does not prove anything.
Fraser: Shows he has a guilty conscience.
Ray: Let’s get him in here, mess with his head.
Smith: [amused]
  Yeah, you guys are so cool, man!


[observation room; Welsh shuts off the tape]
Welsh: Sorta puts things in a whole different light, wouldn’t you say?
Stella: Obviously Agents Ford and Deeter were not aware this interview was being taped.
Welsh: Well, I didn’t want to make them feel self-conscious, you know? Candid Camera approach.


[bullpen]
Ray: It appears that Mr. Dinardo has priors, assault on a couple of his tenants.
Fraser: He’s coming in.
Ray: What’d you tell him?
Fraser: Well, it pains me to admit it, but I-I lied to him.
Ray: Oh, nothing happened, did it? You know, you weren’t struck by lighting, the sky didn’t fall in?
Fraser: Well, not yet, but it might have, it might well be the start of a slippery slope.
Ray: Oh yes, I believe you’re going to hell in a handcart.

Fraser : It’s not something to laugh about. I might well be.
Desk Sergeant: Oh listen, the fellow you were with earlier, what was his name?
Fraser: His name was Guy... [looks to Kowalski]
Ray: ...Lombardo.
Desk Sergeant: Doesn’t ring a bell.

Stella : It’s illegally obtained evidence. They had a reasonable expectation of privacy in that room. No judge in the state will allow it.
Welsh: But I don’t have to play it for the judge. I only have to play it for the deputy director of the FBI.
Stella: That’s blackmail. I can’t be involved in that.
Ray: Lieutenant, I need interview 1 ASAP.
Welsh: Oh, be my guest, I’m through with it. This guy still here, huh? He doesn’t have a home?
Ray: As a matter of fact, no, sir.
Fraser: I’m going to, uh, get our friend.
Smith: Yeah, I’ll go with you.
Welsh: Wait wait, Fraser?
Fraser:
  It’s all right, Leftenant.

Welsh : All right. Tell Ford to come into my office.


[morgue]

[Mort is shaving a corpse’s head & singing (‘ Figaro, figaro, Figaro, figaro ...’), as Fraser enters & uncovers Guy Rankin]
Mort: You know, I’ve been thinking about the postal workers, and the problem is they don’t get any respect. Everybody tells jokes about the mailman.
Fraser: Our mailman used to wrestle grizzly bears, for money.
Mort: Oh, well... [sees what Fraser is doing]
  Is he one of mine?
Fraser: No, he is, uh, he’s material evidence in a criminal investigation and I just took the liberty of storing him here earlier.
Mort: Was he dead at that time?
Fraser: Very dead.
Mort: Oh. Then... [sings]
Addio, addio .

Fraser : [sings] Addio ... [exits]

 

[corridor; Fraser & Stanley run through busy hallway...]
Smith: Dead guy running! Watch out. Dead guy running! Watch out, watch out.
Fraser: Thank you.
Smith: Dead guy running!
Fraser: Thank you kindly.

[...and into the observation room]


[Welsh’s office; Ford enters, limping]
Ford: What? What is it? I’m kinda busy.
Welsh: What happened to you?
Ford: Look, do you want something?
Welsh: Yeah. I want you to leave Kuzma in my jurisdiction. You can have him back when we’ve finished with him, say 25 years to life.
Ford: Look, we’ve been through this already, all right? Kuzma is a very important witness in an ongoing federal investigation. Now you got something else? Because you’re wasting my time.
Welsh: As a matter of fact I do. [puts tape into VCR]

 
[interrogation room 1; Deeter locks Kuzma up in chains]
Deeter: You are one crazy bastard.

Ford : [bursting in]  Pack up, we’re outta here.
Deeter: What?
Ford: You deaf? Let’s go!
Kuzma: What’s going on?
Ford: You killed a cop, man. Deal with it.
[Kuzma steals keys with his mouth]
Deeter: He’s all yours.

Ford : You got yourselves a real prize.
[Kuzma bites Dewey on the arm]

Dewey : Ahhhh!!!
Huey: What happened?
Dewey: He bit me! Get the mask!

Huey : Let’s go.

[Huey wheels Kuzma out into the hallway]


[bullpen]
Ray: [to Bentley]
  That sounds good. Set it up.
Desk Sergeant: Hey Vecchio! Mr. Dinardo here to see you. Listen, Nicky called, and that recipe you gave him? Doesn’t work in the microwave. [exits]
Dinardo: Ain’t a recipe if you gotta put it in the microwave.
Ray: Mr. Dinardo?

Dinardo : Yeah?

Ray : Thanks for dropping in.
Dinardo: Yeah, so what’s all this about? Guy said something about stolen supplies?
Ray: Well, I know this is a pain in the butt, but my lieutenant, he’s a stickler for paperwork. He just wants you to sign a statement saying that nothing got, uh, stolen from your worksite when you were here.
Dinardo: You gotta be kidding me. Listen, can we make this quick? I’m double-parked. [Kowalski finally sees Bentley come out of interrogation room 1; Bentley gives him a thumbs-up]
Ray: No problem. Follow me.
Dinardo: What happened to your head?
Ray: Nothing.
Dinardo: It was a woman, huh?

[into interrogation room 1]
Ray: Have a seat. You want a coffee, soda?
Dinardo: No, nothing. Like I said, I’m in a bit of a hurry.
Ray: Okay. I’ll just, uh, get the forms. [exits]


[observation room; Fraser, Dief, Stanley (and Rankin) are watching Dinardo on the video monitor/through the window; enter Kowalski]
Ray: He’s checking his nails.
Fraser: We can give him a few more minutes.
Ray: Have we got that kind of time?
Fraser: I once stood watching an empty cabin for eleven days.
Ray: Did you know it was empty at the time?
Fraser: Not for the first nine days, no.
Ray: Why did you watch it for two more if you knew it was empty, Fraser? Actually, I don’t even want to know.
Fraser: Ah. How’s your ear?
Ray: It’s, uh, fine. Why?
Fraser: Oh, I was just thinking of a relative of mine, well, distant relative. 4th cousin 3 times removed, to be exact. Malick Einer was his name. Anyway, one day he had a seashell up to his ear and he was listening to the gentle lapping of the surf when a narwhal broke the surface and shoved the seashell deep into his eardrum. And from that day forward instead of the gentle lapping of the surf, he had a rushing torrent raging through his cranium. [chuckles]
  Relatives, huh? [Kowalski gives him a look]
Ray: Here we go. [Dinardo stands, moving toward poster]
  Go go go go go, come on.
Fraser: Close.
Ray: Come on.
Fraser: Closer.

Ray : Take a peek.

[Dinardo moves away from the poster & towards the door]
Ray: Aw damn. What what what, where’s he going?
Fraser: I could’ve sworn...

[Dinardo moves back to the poster]

Ray : Here we go, here we go.

Fraser : This is it.
Ray: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!

[Dinardo lifts up corner of the poster]

Ray : We got him! There!


[interrogation room 1; Kowalski bursts in; Dinardo drops poster corner]
Ray: Lose something?
Dinardo: You’ve got a hole in your drywall.
Ray: Yeah? [gets in Dinardo’s face]
Dinardo: Yeah. You got a problem, my friend?
Ray: You got a problem, my friend?
Dinardo: [scoffs]
  Tough guy.

[Dinardo goes to leave and sees Fraser (& Dief & Stanley) in corridor with Rankin]
Fraser: Recognize this man?
Dinardo: I don’t recognize anybody. I don’t need this.
Fraser: [blocks Dinardo’s exit]
  Take another look.
Dinardo: I said no. I gotta get back to work. [walks the other way]
Ray: Was this guy leaning on you?
Fraser: Was he affecting your business interests?
Ray: Was he shaking you down?
Fraser: Perhaps he was involved with your wife.
Ray: Your daughter, maybe?
Dinardo: [pulls gun]
  Leave me alone!

Man : Gun!
Ray: Good answer.

[Dinardo shoots twice; everyone hits the deck]

Welsh : Take it easy!!

[Dinardo shoots again]

Ray : Calm down! Calm down!
Dinardo: Move! Put it down!

[Stanley tries to cross the hall, but Kowalski motions him back]

Ray : Get back, get back, get back.

[Fraser stands up]

Dinardo : I’ll kill them!
Fraser: Mr. Dinardo, think about what you are doing. It’s impossible for you to get out of this building.
Dinardo: Shut up, shut up!
Fraser: Perhaps Rankin provoked you. Maybe you didn’t intend to kill him.

[Kuzma begins to unlock his chains]

Fraser : The fact that you shellacked him, wrapped him up in Saran Wrap, put him in a wall, drywalled it, taped it, plastered it, sanded it, painted it, maybe that was pure panic. It’s understandable.

Dinardo : You’re crazy, man.

Fraser : I’m sure it happens every day.

[cop tries to sneak forward, and Dinardo fires; the cop drops his gun]
Ford & Deeter: FBI!
  Freeze!
[exchange of gunfire; Fraser runs & tackles Dinardo to the floor]

Smith : Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh--

[Stanley slides the cop’s dropped gun to Kowalski, who stands & hides behind wall]

Smith : --ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh--
Ray: All right, all right! Cease fire! Cease fire! Cease fire!

[Kuzma is getting out of his chains; Fraser disarms Dinardo]

Smith : --ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh--

[finally the agents stop shooting]

Ray : [holding gun toward agents & Stanley]  Are you finished?

Smith : --ahhhhh ohhh. [shuts up]

Kuzma : [laughs maniacally]  I’m walking out of here. [holds broken glass to Rankin’s throat]   Anybody tries to stop me, he’s a dead man!  [realizes his hostage is dead; Kowalski grins]

[bullpen]
Smith: Thanks a lot. Yeah. Thanks for lettin’ me go, man. It was a blast. [exits]
Ray: Good kid, I like that kid.
Fraser: Uh, Ray?
Ray: He’s got my badge! [runs after Stanley]
Francesca: Fraser, I just want to thank you.
Fraser: Thank you.

[Frannie kisses him on cheek, then exits; Fraser clears his throat & tugs at his collar]

[walking through precinct]

Robert Fraser : Good work, son. Bit unorthodox, but you got your man.
Fraser: I had my doubts.
Robert Fraser: You’d be an idiot not to. One night, in ‘72 I think it was, Joe Morgan and I were at this dance. Wasn’t much of a dance really, just the five of us. In the wee hours, your mother showed up, made me come home. Next morning one of the trappers at the dance, Rene Tibeau his name was, turned up dead with Joe’s knife in his back. I was dispatched to bring in Joe for the murder. Joe said he hadn’t done it, said he’d sold that knife a couple of days before to buy me a birthday present. Was the hardest decision I ever made. I let him go.
Fraser: He was innocent?
Robert Fraser: I thought he was, but it turned out he was guilty as sin. That trapper was sleeping with Joe’s wife. Joe killed him in a murderous rage.
Fraser: You know, Dad, I’m sorry, but I fail to see how this relates in any way, shape or form to my situation.
Robert Fraser: Well, it doesn’t relate exactly, except that...sometimes a man’s got to get things off his chest, do you mind?
Fraser: Not really.
Robert Fraser: Wait ‘til you’re dead.
Fraser: All right.


End

 

 

Main Index

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

Season 4

FitH