Perfect
Strangers
[Kowalski’s car]
Ray: He’s one of
those hard luck cases. He bets on a horse, horse dies. He
buys horse meat, meat’s bad. But his information’s good,
so I slip him 50 bucks now and then.
Fraser: You say hard
luck. Do you mean hard luck as in...?
Ray: Hard luck as in
he wasn’t fortunate enough to be born in an igloo 5,000
miles away without TV, water, or uh, you know,
drive-thru.
Fraser: What do you
mean by that, Ray?
Ray: I’m being
ironical.
Fraser: Ahh.
Ray:
[getting
out]
You better wait in the car
cause Sonny won’t talk to me if you’re there.
Fraser:
Understood.
Ray: You want the
radio?
Fraser: No. That’s
all right. I’ve got a Mahler symphony I’d like to listen
to.
Ray: Yeah well, you
need the keys.
Fraser: Well,
there’s no need, Ray. I have the score right
here.
[Fraser opens the score &
we hear the symphony begin as he ‘conducts’; Kowalski
peeks through the passenger window,
puzzled]
[bar; Kowalski waits at a table for Sonny and another man
(George) to finish a game of pool, which Sonny
loses]
George: Pay up,
buddy.
Sonny: I don’t have
any money.
George: What do you
mean, you don’t have any money?
Sonny: I don’t have
any money.
George: You don’t
have 10 bucks?
Sonny: Relax.
[sits with
Kowalski]
So how’s it going, man?
Ray: Good. Hey, you
want a beer?
Sonny: Yeah,
thanks.
Ray:
[to
waitress]
Two beers? Cheers. Thanks. So
what happened to that job at the video store?
Sonny: That guy was
a jerk, man. I mean, I appreciate your help and all, but
that guy was a jerk. My mother dies, he wouldn’t give me a
week off.
Ray: Sonny, your
mother died a year ago.
Sonny: Grief has its
own time frame. You can’t rush it.
Ray: Look, does your
parole officer know that you’re living upstairs
here?
Sonny: No. It’s just
temporary. Irene’s pregnant, right? We get our first
welfare check, we’re moving in together. It’ll be a nice
place.
Ray: That’s great.
That’s good. I mean that. So, you got anything for
me?
Sonny: Mm-hmm. That
container of computers that got lifted off the docks last
week? I know one of the guys--
Ray: You know one of
the guys?
Sonny: I know a guy
who knows one of the guys.
Ray: All right.
That’s more like it.
[Kowalski pays Sonny; George grabs the
money]
Sonny: Hey!
George: Give me my
money!
Ray: Hey, hey, hey,
hey! Break it up, break it up, break it up!
[to
George]
Take a walk!
[to
Sonny]
You sit down.
George: I still want
my money.
Sonny: He hustled
me.
Ray: Oh, yeah? Well,
drop it. Let it go.
Sonny: I got to go
to the can.
[car; Dief whines, and the symphony trails
off]
Fraser: Well, what
do you expect? You eat an entire pizza and you drink a
gallon of water, you will have to pee 10 times an hour.
The concept is called cause and effect.
[Dief
barks]
Although I realize it may be
somewhat difficult for you to grasp, it’s something you
should try to come to grips with. It will make life a
whole lot simpler.
[gets out, waits on sidewalk for
Dief]
[bar; Kowalski opens men’s room door to check on Sonny,
and George runs out, knocking Kowalski down; George runs
out of door & bumps into Fraser, who falls on
Dief.
Music: Heroic Doses by Glueleg.]
Fraser: Sorry, boy.
Get
Ray.
[Fraser chases on foot; Kowalski goes into men’s room to find Sonny lying with a knife in his guts]
[George & Fraser are running up fire escapes and over roofs; George jumps down onto stairs & runs, but Fraser grabs a tarp & parachutes down, kicking George to the ground on the way]
[back at the bar]
George
: Hey! I didn’t do
nothin’!
Ray:
[to uniformed
police]
He’s inside. Nobody goes in or
out.
Fraser:
Ray?
[Kowalski grabs George & roughs him up a bit]
George : Hey! Hey!
Ray
: Get in there!
[shoves George into the police
car]
[inside the
bar]
Dewey: All yours,
Al.
[EMTs take Sonny out on a stretcher]
Dewey: Photo guys
are done. Print guys are moving in now.
Ray: This was in his
hand.
[holds out a small pin]
Dewey: Hey, what’s
that?
Fraser: OTT
Club.
Ray: Over The
Top.
Fraser: Commercial
airlines hand these out to their flight crews. This one
would commemorate 100 trips over the Pole. Top of the
world. You know, Ray, judging from the maple leaves inset
in the filigree, I’d say this was a Canadian
airline.
Ray: Canadian.
Fraser:
Airline.
Ray: Filigree.
Fraser:
Mm-hmm.
[27th
precinct; interrogation
room]
George: I never seen
it before. I told you. I don’t even know what it is.
Ray: Ever been to
Canada, George?
George: Canada? Come
on, man, I’m not even allowed out of the state. Look, I
told you already. I went to the can and there he was on
the floor. I didn’t do
it!
He was already there. Is he
going to be okay?
Ray: No. He’s
dead.
George: Dead? The
guy’s dead?
Ray: Yeah! Real
dead. You guys were arguing about money.
George: Money? Ten
bucks! Why would I kill somebody for 10 bucks?
Ray: You and I both
know it is never about the money. It is about who’s right,
who’s on top, who’s Mr. Big, right?
[Welsh’s office]
Welsh: Enough,
enough. Just go find Ray. Now.
Francesca: I’ll talk
to you when your superego is in more control of your
id.
[exits]
Hi, Fraser.
Fraser: Ah,
Francesca.
[Dief whines]
Francesca: What’s
with him?
[Dief now has a bandaged
foreleg]
Fraser: I fell on
him. I think it was – well, I think he was startled more
than he was actually hurt. But apparently I haven’t been
paying enough attention to him.
[quietly]
You know, the fact is, I think
it’s largely psychosomatic, so I’m just trying to ignore
it.
Francesca: Really?
See, I never knew that dogs were so psychological. Have
you ever heard of Pamela’s dog?
Fraser: No, I’m
afraid not.
Francesca: Really?
Yeah, she’s, oh yeah, she’s famous. She drooled. I’m
taking a psychology course.
Fraser: Oh, perhaps
you mean Pavlov’s dog.
[Dief groans & rolls
over]
[interrogation room]
George: Look, I told
you I didn’t do it!
Ray: What about your
fingerprints all over the knife?
George: I told you.
I was trying to pull it
out.
Ray: Oh. Pull it
out, not push it in, right?
[knock knock knock]
Ray: What?!!
Francesca: Uh, the
lieutenant wants to see you.
Ray: Okay! Thank
you.
[Welsh’s office]
Ray: What the hell
is going on? I’m in the middle of a--
Welsh: Have a seat.
Go ahead, Constable.
[Fraser inserts a VHS tape into a player]
Ray: What the hell
is this?
Welsh: Quiet,
Detective.
[tape plays: a taxi stops on a dark deserted street.
Music:“Memorare” by
the
Benedictine Monks of
Saint-Benoit-du-Lac.]
Ray: What is
this?
Welsh: Patience,
Detective. Let it unfold.
Fraser: We think she
knew the driver.
[a woman gets out of the taxi & walks down the
street]
Ray: Hey, wait a
minute. A stewardess. Does this have anything to do with
that Over The Top pin?
Welsh: Shhh! Just
watch it, Detective.
[a man assaults the woman; tape ends]
Welsh: That’s
it.
Ray: That’s
what?
Fraser: It’s an RCMP
recreation of a crime that took place in Toronto 2 days
ago.
Ray: That’s a police
recreation?
Fraser: It’s
interesting, isn’t it? The government funding of the arts
in Canada produced a glut of filmmakers at the same time
as American domination of Canadian cinemas left these
enthusiastic young artists with very few arenas in which
to ply their craft.
Welsh: That’s a
human tragedy, Constable. The Toronto police have given us
a positive ID on the number on the pin. It belongs to the
victim in that crime there, Chantal Bowman. Age 26. Been
dead for 36 hours. Homicide. Still unsolved.
Ray: Okay. So a
stewardess in Canada--
Fraser: Flight
attendant.
Ray: A waitress in
the sky in Canada is killed. Her pin shows up in the hand
of a loser like Sonny in the south side of Chicago in this
dump? What is the deal?
Welsh: Well, that’s
why we have detectives,
Detective.
*You* are going to figure out
that troublesome problem for us.
Ray: How?
[Toronto airport]
Announcer
: Thank you for your
attention.
Merci pour votre
attention
.
Ray: So this
French-English thing. They do it all the time?
Fraser: Yes.
Ray: You mean, like,
hello-
allo
, what’s
happening-
¿qué
pasa?
I mean, wow, it’s going to take
us twice as long to get anything done.
Fraser: It’s not in
everyday speech, Ray. It’s just in official announcements
and the like.
Ray: How many of the
French live in Toronto?
Fraser: Actually,
very few. Most of the non-English population is composed
of Italian, Portuguese, and Chinese.
Ray: They speak
French?
Fraser: Not really,
no.
Ray: Then why
the...?
Fraser: Well, it’s
kind of a complex issue, Ray. You know, suffice it to say
that we adopted a policy of multiculturalism as opposed to
the melting pot of your American model. You know, it might
be instructive, and just a little bit of fun too, to pick
up a copy of the Royal Commission’s report on the official
bilingualism on our way downtown.
Ray: A little bit of
fun, eh?
Fraser: Could be
fun.
[they step outside; passerby picks up piece of
litter]
Fraser: I’ll hail a
cab.
Ray: It’s clean. Too
clean.
[Fraser is snagged by a group of
tourists]
Fraser : A photograph? Why, I’d be honored.
[a taxi pulls up but two
businessmen reach it before
Kowalski]
First: Oh. Oh, you
go on.
Second: No, no, my
mistake. Are you in a hurry?
First: My daughter’s
recital.
Second: Oh really?
How old?
First: Six.
Second: Ah, that’s
such a great age.
First: Yeah.
Second: Let me give
you a hand here...
[Kowalski, dumbfounded and
annoyed, runs out into the street & flashes badge at
an oncoming
cab]
[street, in front of Maple Leaf Gardens; a man is peddling
tickets]
Man: Hockey
tickets?
[car drives
on]
Hey, you need Leaf
tickets?
Ray: Leafs
suck.
Man: Leafs
rule.
Ray: Hawks
rule.
Man: Hawks
suck.
Ray: *You*
suck!
Fraser: You are
bilingual, Ray.
[Kowalski
laughs]
[RCMP building]
Ray: Ooh. The mother
ship.
[conference room]
Mountie: I was very
sorry about your father. He was a good man.
Fraser: Yes, he
was.
Mountie: Please, sit
down.
[they do, and Mountie produces a photo]
Mountie
: This is the murdered woman.
Chantal Bowman. We’ve confirmed that the pin you found at
the murder scene in Chicago was hers.
Ray: Uh, we already
got somebody in custody for that murder, but we haven’t
come up with a connection yet.
Mountie:
[shows another
photo]
There is another
complication.
Fraser: General
Bowman.
Ray: Who’s he?
Fraser: He’s one of
our country’s most decorated soldiers. Recently honored by
the United Nations for his peacekeeping efforts.
Mountie: He’s also
the father of the dead girl and he’s sworn to find the
killer. We don’t want General Bowman to be the second
victim of this tragedy.
Ray: What exactly is
it that you want from me?
Mountie: We believe,
as does General Bowman, that Miss Bowman’s killer lives in
Chicago. We want you to find him before General Bowman
does.
[apartment]
Shelley: Whenever we
had layovers in Chicago, she just disappeared. I tried
asking her about it but she was real coy. I know she had a
boyfriend but I never met him.
Ray: She ever
mention a name or describe him in any way?
Shelly: No. No, but
he’s older, I know that. And he had a lot of money. That
was important to Chantal. He’s married, had a wife, three
kids, one in college or something. She kept telling me
that he was going to tell his wife about he and Chantal
real soon, but the timing had to be just right, you know.
The usual crap. Chantal, she was becoming, like,
umm...
Fraser: Obsessed?
Fixated? Single-minded?
Shelly:
Yeah!
Well, she told me last week
that if he didn’t tell his wife about them, she was going
to.
[they enter Chantal’s room]
Shelly
: I still can’t believe she’s
gone.
Ray:
[holding up stuffed
animal]
How old was she? Twelve?
Fraser:
[holding up
picture]
Was this her apartment in
Chicago?
Ray: How would you
know, uh...?
Fraser: Well, it
stands to reason, Ray. I mean, he was a married man. They
couldn’t be seen together.
Shelley: Yeah. They
did have a place.
Ray: You got an
address?
Shelley: No. But I
have the key.
[Chicago, street; car alarms, street walkers, and as the
taxi pauses for a light, two guys get in a
fight]
Ray: Home again,
home again, jiggity-jig.
Fraser:
[to
driver]
We’ll be right back.
Ray: Chicago PD!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Break it up, break it up.
Fighting on the street with roller blades on, what is
that? Come on!
[27th
precinct]
Ray: Francesca,
what’s up with the yellow thingamajobby?
[her shirt]
Francesca:
[holds up a
book]
The human mind. Did you know
that our minds are affected by color? And yellow happens
to be a very soothing color.
Ray: That is so
interesting to me.
[walks away]
Dewey:
[hands over a Wanted
poster]
Ray, we found this in Sonny’s
room.
Ray: 1980?
Dewey: Yeah. But
doesn’t he look familiar to you?
Ray: I wouldn’t know
this guy if he jumped out of my soup. Who the hell is Chad
Maxwell?
Dewey: St.
Louis.
Ray: Sonny was from
St. Louis.
[Welsh walks by & sees the
poster]
Welsh
: I know that guy.
Dewey: Yeah, that’s
what I just said.
[Frannie walks by & sees the poster]
Francesca
: Hey, I know that guy.
Ray: Okay, so you
know the guy, you know the guy, and you know the guy. Who
the hell is this guy?
Dewey: He’s that
guy, you know...that...
All
:
[as they
exit]
Yeah, yeah, you know...
Ray: What guy?
Francesca, can you phone the St. Louis police department,
if you’re not too busy being yellow and, uh...
[tacks poster up on his bulletin
board]
[consulate; Thatcher’s office]
Thatcher: My friend
Nancy in Trade is having a baby. It’s a Mr. Feed Me. It
preheats the formula and presents it to the baby. You can
set it for 4, 5, 6 feedings a day. When the buzzer goes,
it’s time to feed the baby.
Fraser: Hmm.
Thatcher:
What?
Fraser: Well, sir,
in my experience, although very limited, well, infants
tend to tell their mothers when they’d like to be fed by
crying. I can’t imagine that the mother-child bond can be
improved upon by technology.
Thatcher: You’re
right. I’ll get her one of those electronic security
bracelets. That way she can keep track of it. So?
Fraser: Our
assignment from headquarters is to prevent General Bowman
from taking the law into his own hands. On a more personal
note, sir, it does feel quite good to be back in the
saddle again.
Thatcher: Yes. The
bit between the teeth. Two thousand pounds of pulsing
horseflesh between your legs...
Fraser: I was
speaking metaphorically, sir.
Thatcher: As was I,
Constable Fraser, as was I. Dismissed.
Fraser: Sir.
[Dief groans]
Fraser: Would you
please not make me look worse than I already do, thank
you? Come.
[Dief limps after
Fraser]
[Chicago airport]
Immigration Officer:
Welcome to the United States, General. Is your visit
business or pleasure?
General Bowman:
Neither.
[27th
precinct]
Ray: Okay, Sonny
goes to Toronto, kills Chantal. Then he comes back, gets
mugged for 10 bucks in Chicago? That’s a coincidence. They
happen.
Fraser: But do you
really think that’s what happened, Ray?
Ray: Okay, George
flies to Toronto, kills Chantal, then comes back and kills
Sonny.
Fraser: Well, why?
And how would George even know Chantal?
Ray: I don’t know. I
do not know. All I know is this: his fingerprints were all
over the knife and he had Sonny’s blood all over
him.
Fraser: Yeah, but he
explained that.
[Kowalski’s phone rings]
Ray: Hang on.
[answers]
Squad room, Vecchio....Yeah,
hang on.
[hands it to Fraser]
Fraser: Hello, this
is Constable Benton Fraser--Ah, Turnbull....Yes, I’ll
hold.
[local news is on the TV]
Anchor: And now for
sports. Our very own Chad Percy, whose showing at the
recent national celebrity golf tournament for literacy in
Buffalo was just brutal.
[throws it to the sports desk]
[Fraser studies Wanted poster,
then the TV, then the
poster]
Ray: What?
Fraser: They’re the
same. Chad Maxwell. Chad Percy.
Chad Percy on
TV
: ...making it difficult for
the San Francisco quarterback to call any of his
plays.
[TV station]
Ray: Mr.
Percy?
Percy: Yeah?
Ray: Detective
Vecchio, Chicago PD.
Percy: Hey, my golf
game wasn’t that bad.
Ray: I just want to
ask you a couple of questions.
Percy:
Sure.
[Kowalski shows the Wanted poster; Percy stiffens]
Percy : Um, let’s just go somewhere more private.
[they go into director’s booth]
Percy
: Guys, you want to give me a
couple of minutes here? Thanks.
[all exit]
Ray: You know Sonny
Dunlap?
Percy: Son of a
bitch. I can’t believe he did it. Yeah. Yeah, I know
Sonny. I’ve been paying him $200 a week for the last two
years. He wanted to up it to five or he was going to go
public. I said the best I can do was 250. He said he was
going to think about it, that dumb bastard.
Ray: When’s the last
time you saw him?
Percy: A week ago.
Maybe Monday or Tuesday. Look, Detective, that poster is
17 years old. I was hitting the sauce pretty heavy in
those days. Yeah. I robbed a liquor store. I don’t even
remember doing it. I mean... Okay, where does this leave
us now? I mean, there’s a statute of limitations on
robbery, isn’t there?
Ray: Yeah. There is,
but not on murder.
Percy: What?
Ray: Sonny was
murdered two nights ago.
Percy: Detective,
you don’t... I am
not a violent
man.
Ray: You pleaded
guilty to common assault just three months ago.
Percy: Yeah, well,
that was after a traffic accident. Even the judge said I
was severely provoked.
Ray: Where were you
Tuesday night?
Percy: This
Tuesday?
Ray: Mmm.
Percy: That’s when
he was killed?
Ray: Mmm.
Percy: Well, I was
butchering a game of golf in Buffalo.
Ray:
Butchering.
[a woman knocks on the glass
& holds up 2
fingers]
Percy: Listen, I got
to go. But I hope you catch the guy, and if you need any
help feel free to call me.
Ray: Yeah.
[consulate; Thatcher’s office]
Thatcher: You are an
institution in Canada, sir. An icon. We understand your
grief at this terrible time--
General: Don’t
presume to understand that, Inspector.
Thatcher: No, sir.
But I must remind you that this matter is in the hands of
the American authorities. We must leave it to them.
General: And what
are you suggesting?
Thatcher: General,
there is some concern that...you may try to take the law
into your own hands.
General: I have led
men into some of the worse hellholes on this planet,
Inspector, in the name of honor and this country. And you
representatives of this country have the nerve to summon
me here and accuse me of being a common criminal?!
[Dief barks]
Thatcher: No,
sir!
Fraser: General,
Inspector Thatcher as always is acting in the best
interests of the Canadian people and of her Government,
often in very difficult circumstances. I’m personally
liasing with the Chicago Police Department in this case.
And if you would like to call me at this number tomorrow,
I would be happy to go over every aspect of the
investigation.
[writes the number, and hands Bowman the
paper]
Thank you, sir.
[Bowman
exits]
Thatcher: Fraser,
I’m afraid that I may sometimes underestimate you.
Fraser: Not without
justification, I’m sure.
Thatcher: Still,
it’s comforting to know that I can think of you as
a...partner as well as a subordinate.
Robert Fraser: Ooh.
Be careful, son.
Fraser: Of
what?
Thatcher: Of
me.
Robert Fraser: When
a woman gets that stirring in her loins, watch out.
Fraser: There’s
nothing stirring in anyone’s loins.
Thatcher: Did you
just say loins?
Fraser: Oh, no, sir.
Loins? Sir? Loins? Sirloins. Sirloins, possibly, because I
have been-I have been thinking about a good piece of
meat... Sir, would you excu--
[exits rapidly]
[Robert Fraser’s office; Robert Fraser is painting and
humming to himself]
Fraser: What was
that all about?
Robert Fraser: What
was what all about?
Fraser: You know
perfectly well what I’m talking about. Inthatcher
Spector’s loins.
Robert Fraser: You
always know where you are with clouds. I was taught that
by the Group of Six.
Fraser: The Group of
Seven.
Robert Fraser: Not
in our group.
Fraser: Dad, we are
not in a locker room.
Robert Fraser: She
wants you, son, and I imagine by God that she’s going to
get you, too.
Fraser: Those don’t
even look like clouds.
Robert Fraser: Oh,
son, son, son. You look but you don’t see. Now look a
little more closely at the details. See, these are not
really clouds. I’ve got the whole family in there. All of
us. There’s Uncle Tiberius. Behind him, Aunt Winnie. See
that little space? That’s for the grandkid. I’m saving
that.
Fraser:
[mutters]
Group of six...
[exits]
[Fraser’s office; Fraser picks up the picture from
Chantal’s apartment]
Fraser: You look but
you don’t see.
[upon closer inspection of the photo, Fraser sees a reflection of a jet plane in the wine glass]
[Fraser leaves consulate in a taxi, General Bowman follows; at the airport, Fraser stands atop said taxi trying to locate Chantal’s apartment]
[Fraser locates apartment and enters with the key; a man
sneaks up behind him intending to hit him with a poker...
Fraser flips him to the floor]
Evers: Who the hell
are you?
Fraser: Did you know
a Chantal Bowman?
Evers: Why?
Fraser: I’m sorry to
have to inform you of this. There has been--
Evers: She’s
dead.
Fraser: I’m afraid
so, yes. Excuse me, sir.
[goes to phone]
Evers: Look, I got a
wife. I got kids.
Fraser: Detective
Vecchio, please.
Evers: I can’t get
involved in this.
[outside]
Fraser: I first came
to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my
father.
For a variety of
reasons--
[General Bowman drives up]
General: Step away
from him, Constable.
Fraser: General,
please--
[Evers runs; Fraser catches him as a blue & white
rolls up]
Fraser
: Come along, sir.
Ray:
[to
Bowman]
Up against the car. Assume the
position. Apart!
[pats him down & finds a pistol tucked into Bowman’s
waistband]
Bowman:
[to
Evers]
I know you now.
Policeman: Let’s go,
buddy. Cuff him.
[27th
precinct;
corridor]
Bowman: What kind of
a country is this? The man who killed my daughter goes
free!
Ray: Don’t worry.
Nobody’s going free. Just have a seat there.
Bowman: I want to
call the consulate.
Ray: No problem. You
just take a seat there. I’ll be right back, okay?
[observation room; Huey & Kowalski are watching Evers
through the glass]
Ray: So?
Huey: He admits he
was shacking up with the Bowman woman. But he’s got an
alibi for the night of the murder.
Ray: Oh, yeah?
Tight?
Huey: It’s pretty
tight.
Ray: How
tight?
Huey: On the night
of the murder he was addressing 2,000 members of the
Chicago Booksellers Association at the Plaza Hotel.
Ray: That’s
tight.
Huey: Tell you one
thing. He’s more afraid of his wife than he is of
us.
[consulate; Thatcher’s office]
Thatcher: They’ve
arrested him?!
Fraser: He is
being...detained.
Thatcher: We could
have an international incident on our hands!
[rushes out, closing door on Fraser]
Fraser: Sir, sir,
sir?
[Thatcher opens door, right
into Fraser’s
face]
[they exit & lock up; Thatcher looks both ways, then
places key underneath Turnbull’s
Stetson]
Thatcher
: It would be embarrassing to
have to trade for General Bowman like the Americans did
for Francis Gary Powers.
Fraser: Or the
Toronto Maple Leafs did for Dougie Gilmour.
[they get into a waiting
taxi]
Cabbie: Careful of
the far side.
Thatcher: Ohhhh!!
It’s wet!
Cabbie: I was
carrying ice.
Thatcher:
[moves closer to
Fraser]
Excuse me, Fraser. I’m
wet.
Fraser: That’s
perfectly all right, sir.
Thatcher:
Fraser--
Fraser: Yes,
sir?
Thatcher:
Fraser--
Fraser: Sir?
Thatcher: Don’t say
‘sir’ every time I say Fraser, Fraser. Just let my
thoughts reveal themselves. First of all, I want to
apologize for my behavior in front of General
Bowman.
Fraser: Oh, no
apologies necessary, sir.
Thatcher: Please.
I’m afraid that I appeared less than...managerial.
Fraser: Not at
all.
Thatcher: I just
wanted to thank you for intervening.
Fraser: Yes,
sir.
Thatcher: Not that
you needed to intervene.
Fraser: No, no. Of
course not.
Thatcher: The thing
is, I’ve been a little preoccupied lately.
Fraser: Ah. I hadn’t
noticed.
Thatcher: Well, I
have. You know I went to my friend Nancy’s baby shower
just now.
Fraser:
Mm-hmm.
Thatcher: Thank you,
by the way, for your advice on the gift. You were
absolutely right.
Fraser: Oh. I’m
glad.
Thatcher: You’re a
surprisingly sensitive man for all your physical strength
and courage.
Fraser: Please,
sir.
Thatcher: I’ve been
thinking lately about having a child.
Fraser: Really?
Well, uh, I think you would make a crackerjack
mother.
Thatcher: Thank you,
Fraser. It’s an enormous undertaking. And you know me. I
mean, I wouldn’t even know how to start. That’s where you
come in.
[Fraser shifts uncomfortably]
Is your seat wet, too?
Fraser: No,
sir.
Thatcher: Anyway, I
was thinking, with all your experience in the field, that
you might be the kind of man who would know a thing or two
about this sort of business. I was hoping to...involve you
in the process.
Fraser: In the
process.
Thatcher: We’d have
to be very discreet, and naturally I’d want to get the
whole thing over with as quickly as possible.
Fraser:
Naturally.
Thatcher: So I can
count on you then to be up for this?
Fraser:
[nervously] Oh,
ahhha, look, look where we are. Good old police
station!
[leaps out of the cab]
[27
th precinct; a
baby is being admired by several
officers]
Thatcher: Fraser,
look! Isn’t that sweet?
Fraser:
[very
nervously]
Yes, ahh...I’m...ver--
Um...
[exits quickly]
Ray: Fraser.
Fraser: Ah, Ray.
Where’s the general?
Ray: With the
lieutenant.
Thatcher:
Detective?
Ray: With the
lieutenant.
Thatcher:
Fraser.
Ray:
Wh-what?
[indicates Thatcher’s wet seat]
Fraser: Oh, uh, she
was sitting on ice.
Ray: That’s
cold.
Fraser: Well, yes.
But it melted.
Ray: Look, uh, I got
Evers in interview one. Did you know his wife was Audra
Binghamton? She’s got all the money. She’s one of the
Chicago blueblood families. No wonder he’s so worried
about her finding out about this little chippie. One false
move, he’s out on the street without a dime.
Fraser: That’s good
work, Ray.
Ray: Thank
you.
[Welsh’s office]
General: Whose side
are you on anyway? I thought you were here to protect my
interests.
Welsh: General, Mr.
Evers is an American citizen. As such, we deem him to be
innocent until proven guilty of any crime.
General: He killed
my daughter.
Welsh: We have no
evidence to that at this time. If and when we obtain such
evidence, he’ll be off the street faster than a dropped
wallet. I give you my word.
General: And in the
meantime?
Thatcher: You could
be deported, you could be held here at the police station,
or you can be released into the custody of the Canadian
consulate.
General: I have
committed no crime.
Welsh: Well, there
could be a number of gun-related charges, General. And
contrary to popular belief, we take that pretty seriously
around here. We wouldn’t want another War of 1812 on our
hands, would we?
General: I don’t
blame you. You lost that war.
Welsh: The War of
1812?
No, we didn’t.
General: Does the
name Queenston Heights ring a bell with you? We cleaned
your clocks.
Welsh: Inspector,
would you get the General out of my office, please? To
jail, the consulate, anywhere.
Thatcher: We can
make you comfortable at the consulate, sir.
Welsh: Good.
Thatcher:
General?
[aside]
Not a good idea to mention
1812, sir. The Americans hate it when they lose a
war.
[Kowalski’s desk]
Fraser:
[on
phone]
Yes, thank you kindly.
[to Kowalski]
That was the Ballantine Hotel
in Buffalo. They will be faxing over a copy of Chad
Percy’s hotel bill from the night of Sonny’s murder.
Ray: Okay, this is
stupid. We got two murders, two suspects, two motives up
the yin-yang, and we got two airtight alibis on the nights
of the murders in question.
Francesca: Hey,
Ray.
Ray: Look, we’re
working here, Francesca, and my super-id is completely
groovy, and if I ever start to drool, you’ll be the first
one I call, okay?
Francesca:
Fraser.
Fraser:
Mm-hmm?
Francesca: Would you
agree that our air conditioning causes us to see things in
certain ways?
Fraser: Air
conditioning? Perhaps you mean simply conditioning. You
know, the school of behavioral--
[a page in her book catches his
eye]
Excuse me, can
I...?
[the book shows an optical
illusion – ‘two faces or a
vase?’]
Ray: What?
Fraser: I just had
an epiphany.
Ray : What?
Fraser
: Chad Maxwell did not kill
Sonny Dunlap.
Ray: What? We know
that cause he wasn’t even in Chicago at the time! What
kind of epiphany is that?
Fraser: It’s an
excellent epiphany. He was in Buffalo, which is less than
two hour’s drive from Toronto, where Miss Bowman was
murdered. I think they traded victims.
[corridor]
Welsh: Holy Mother
of God. You want to spell this out for me?
Ray: Nick Evers did
not kill Miss Bowman. He killed Sonny Dunlap.
Fraser: Chad Percy
killed Miss Bowman.
Ray: They
switched.
Fraser: You see,
both men wanted someone dead. Chad Percy because Sonny was
blackmailing him and threatening to expose him.
Ray: And Miss Bowman
was threatening to tell Evers’ wife about their affair,
thereby throwing him off the old gravy train.
Fraser: And they
both knew they’d be prime suspects in any investigation of
the murder, so they arranged to provide one another with
ironclad alibis.
Welsh: So Chad Percy
was in Canada when Sonny was killed here in Chicago.
Fraser: That’s
right, and Nick Evers was in Chicago when Miss Bowman was
killed in Toronto.
Welsh: Now wait a
minute, wait a minute. Is there any proof of this?
Ray: Uh, I knew
you’d ask that.
Fraser: It’s a
working hypothesis.
Welsh: Is there a
shred of evidence that they even knew each other?
Fraser: No, I’m
afraid not.
Welsh: Mmm. Well, I
suggest you find that shred. If you’ll excuse me now, I’m
going to get my superego in touch with my id.
[goes into a holding cell & lies down on the
cot]
[General Bowman sits at a desk,
listing to a police band radio, looking at a photo of his
daughter]
[27th
precinct; Fraser nervously
sidesteps a mother & children as he walks down the
corridor]
Huey: It’s parked
out back. The black
one.
[hands keys to Fraser]
Ray: Fraser, we
aren’t having any luck with the phone taps, so we’re going
to give him a jolt. We dug up the connection. Part of
Percy’s sentencing on that assault charge was going to
these anger management seminars. We showed Evers’ picture
around and came up with a positive ID.
Welsh: All right,
are we ready to make the call?
Francesca:
Yeah.
[dials]
Evers:
[answers
phone]
Hello?
Francesca: Hello,
Mr. Evers?
Evers:
Speaking.
Francesca: Hi. This
is the Chicago Police Department calling. Lieutenant Welsh
would like to know if you could come in and speak to a
couple of our officers regarding the Sonny Dunlap
case?
Evers: Dunlap? I
don’t know, I... There must be some mistake. You must mean
the Chantal Bowman case.
Francesca: Oh, yeah,
sorry. I must have mixed them up. You know how it is,
drowning in paperwork and everything. I was just
wondering, when could you come in?
Evers: Look, I’ve
got another call. I’m alone in the office. I’ll call you
back.
[Evers places another call]
Percy:
[answers
phone]
Yeah?
Evers: They
know.
[Percy hangs
up]
[Evers in his Mercedes]
Percy
:
[answers
phone]
Yeah?
Evers: Don’t hang
up. This is a new phone.
Percy: You stupid
bastard.
Evers:
[checks rearview mirror]
He’s following me.
Percy: Who? The
cops?
Evers: No. Her
father. He’s going to kill me, I know it.
Percy: Okay.... You
know the Douglas overpass just before the river? Lead him
there. Take your time. I’ll need 20 minutes.
[hangs up]
[Percy takes golf clubs out of
his trunk and puts them into his
backseat]
[General Bowman loads rifle, listening to police-band
radio]
Ray:
[voice]
He’s heading west on Roosevelt.
I’m right behind him, heading for the river.
[under the bridge]
[Evers gets out & hides behind pillar; Fraser & Dief get out of the General’s van; Percy points a rifle, takes aim and fires at Fraser, who ducks]
Fraser : [to Dief] Go around.
[Fraser & Evers jockey for
position; Fraser peeks out and Percy fires again...
suddenly Percy takes aim at Evers; Fraser leaps forward
and tackles Evers, just in time; Percy aims at both of
them]
Ray: Drop
it!
[Percy slowly puts down the
rifle]
Fraser: Nice work,
Ray. What took you so long?
Ray: I got a little
lost in the long grass there.
Percy: What’s going
on here?
Ray: I thought you
and your pal could tell us.
Percy: Pal? I’ve
never seen this guy before in my life.
Ray: Oh, so? What,
you just go around trying to shoot perfect
strangers?
Fraser: You knew one
another, didn’t you, Mr. Evers?
Evers: You’re damn
right we know each other! And it was his
idea!
[Fraser sees a laser pointed at
Evers’
cheek]
Fraser:
Down!
[all four hit the
deck]
General: I have no
quarrel with either of you. You can stand aside and I’ll
take them from here.
Fraser:
General--
Bowman: Stand aside
or I will kill all four of you.
Evers: I-I didn’t
kill your daughter.
Bowman: Yes you did.
You both did. And you can both answer for it.
Fraser: General,
you’ve spent your entire life fighting to bring peace to
people in the world. Do you want that struggle to end
here?
Bowman: They don’t
deserve to live.
Fraser: That’s not
our decision to make.
Bowman: I am a
soldier.
Fraser: And a
Canadian. And as such, I know you believe in the rule of
law, not in vigilante action. We have to leave this to
justice, sir.
Bowman:
[to
Percy]
Say it.
[points rifle, laser pointed at his
throat]
Say it!
Percy: I did
it.
Bowman: Did
what?
[laser moves to Percy’s forehead]
Percy: I killed your
daughter.
[Bowman lowers
weapon]
[consulate; Fraser enters his office & hears music
coming from closet: “Watching the Apples Grow” by Stan
Rogers.
Fraser enters Robert Fraser’s office]
Robert Fraser: This
was your baby bag. It was good for 40 below. Of course, a
little 60 below never hurt anybody unless they were
wearing Bermudas. Well, he can’t be reared in this jungle.
We’ll have to move north.
Fraser: You’re
getting a little ahead of yourself, don’t you think?
Robert Fraser: You
can run but you can’t hide, son.
Fraser: What are you
talking about?
[turns off music]
Robert Fraser:
Grandchildren.
Fraser:
Grandchildren. Dad, you cannot have grandchildren. You are
dead.
Robert Fraser: So
you keep telling me. With overmuch glee, I might
add.
Fraser: Oh, for
God’s sake...
Robert Fraser: Oh,
come on, son. Is it going to kill you to give her a leg
over?
Fraser: A leg over?!
Dad, I really don’t have time for this.
Robert Fraser:
That’s what I said. Look what it got me.
Fraser: Well, that’s
a different story. There you are.
[exits,
muttering]
Leg over, foot down, thigh up –
lunatic.
[end music comes up, then a needle
scratches]
Robert Fraser: It’s
not over yet, son.
[outside Thatcher’s office]
[Dief growls; Fraser holds flowers and smoothes his hair, cracks neck]
[knock knock
knock]
Thatcher: Come
in.
[he
does]
Yes, Constable.
[Fraser clears
throat]
What is it, Fraser?
Fraser: Well, sir,
I’ve, uh, I’ve given considerable thought to your, uh,
proposal. And uh, I mean, I have nothing against,
uh...well, I have nothing against...you know. It’s just
that I am not by nature impulsive. Although I have been
known, you know, to really let my, uh, to let my hair,
uh.... Well, no, that’s not, strictly speaking, true. I’ve
never even let my hair grow--
Thatcher: Is there a
point to this, Constable?
Fraser: Yes, sir.
The point is that.... I just think that things like this
should be taken incrementally. Um, perhaps we could start
with conversation, and, uh-- Although, well, you and I
have talked, so I suppose we could bypass that. We can
just move to the next increment – dancing, possibly. Oh,
not now. Not now, of course, because there is no music,
although, you know, my parents used to dance, um, without
music all the time. I recall a time in my childhood
when--
Thatcher:
Fraser?
Fraser: Sir?
Thatcher: You didn’t
think that I...?
Fraser: I don’t
think that you...
Thatcher: Well, when
I asked that you be part of the process, you didn’t think
that I was suggesting...?
Fraser: That you
were suggesting...
Thatcher: Well, that
you...
Fraser: That
I...
Thatcher: Because
that wouldn’t be...
Fraser: No, no, no,
I mean, that would be...
Thatcher: I meant
adoption, Fraser.
Fraser: Sir, may
I...?
Thatcher: May you
what?
Fraser: Be
dismissed?
Thatcher: If you
wish.
Fraser: Oh, uh, I
found these.
[he offers the flowers; she
takes them, and he
exits]
End