Bounty Hunter


[27th precinct]

[no people are visible anywhere; Dief runs back & forth, barks... raised voices echo through the halls]
Voices: Day in, day out....nothing against the....unfair....when our lives are on the line....our jobs must be protected....

 

[bullpen]
[phones ring, unanswered; Fraser finds everyone crammed into break room... Kowalski sees Fraser and gives him nose/thumb salute]
Welsh: Organized labor in all it’s glory. What do you think?
Fraser: It seems rather disorganized to me. I keep hearing the word “strike.”
Welsh: Strike? No, no. You see, strike would be illegal. What you do is you cram fifty guys into one room, and you figure out who’s going to be the first to come down with the flu. Cough, cough. Well, what do you know. They all have the flu now. The Blue Flu. So, what appears to be a strike is not actually a strike at all. It’s just fifty guys who can’t wait to get home and shake hands with the unemployed. [points to ringing phone]
  Would you mind, please?
Fraser: I’d be honored.
Welsh: [answering phone]
  Detective’s division.
Fraser: [answering phone]
  Squad room.
Welsh: Yes.
Fraser: Uh, yes, sir. You’ll have to, uh, you’ll have to calm down. And can you tell me your name please?....Henry. Uh, Henry. Do you have a last name, Henry?....No, I’m not trying to be inquisitive.

[break room; strike meeting]
Huey: This offer is insulting!
Crowd of cops: Yeah!
Huey: They’re laughing at us!
Crowd: Yeah!
Huey: We deserve respect!
Crowd: Yeah!
Dewey: I am not a police officer! I am a man!
[sudden silence as they all give him a ‘look’]
[Kowalski wanders out into the squad room]
Fraser: Henry, don’t you see? You’re creating an impossible situation for yourself. You can’t be expected to know everything....No, I think you should sit down with your wife. I think you should talk to her, and I think you should listen to her.... No, no, no, no, no, no, Henry, I’m not suggesting that your wife is always right, but in this case, she may well be....Yes....Well, yes, I do believe that a three-sixteenths ratchet head wrench is exactly what’s called for....Yes, I am Canadian....It’s my pleasure, and uh, thank you kindly. [hangs up]
Ray: What do you think you’re doing?
Fraser: People are calling for help.
Ray: But you don’t work here, Fraser. We do. We’ll handle it. Come on, am-scray. [picks up phone]
  Chicago PD, Area Seven, Detective Division.
[enter Janet Morse]
Janet: Hi.
Francesca: Hi.
Janet: You work here?
Francesca: Yeah. One of the very few.
Janet: Yeah. I’m, uh, Janet Morse. I’m in from, uh, Montana, and, uh--
[three kids enter: Annie, Robbie, Suzanne Morse]
Annie: Guys!
Janet: Hey, hey, hey. I told you guys to wait in the truck. Robbie!
Ray: [on phone]
  Your name, sir? Bob. [holds phone away from his ear; pauses, stalling]
Robbie: [voice]
  Let’s see what’s in this room.
Ray: [on phone]
  Hmm. How do you spell that?
Janet: Honey, Annie, can you tell your sister not to be scared, please?
Annie: Well, there’s nothing to be scared about, until the swamp monster eats your head.
Suzanne: Mommy!
Janet: Thanks a lot. Sorry about this.
Robbie: No way, a Mountie!
Francesca: They’re pretty cute, actually.
Janet: Yeah, if you’re into pain. Um, Annie, honey, would you go and get your brother for me? Sweetheart, please?
Robbie: [now wearing Fraser’s Stetson]
  They got a candy machine! [kids exit]
Janet: [to Frannie]
  Ah, just give me a sec, will you? Sorry. [to children]  Kids, kids, hey, hey, hey!

[break room]
Huey: Now, you’ve got to do what you think is right.
Janet: [pushing her way through the crowd]
  Sorry, excuse me.
Huey: But if you happen to wake up tomorrow--
Janet: I’m sorry, sorry. Excuse me.
Huey: --feeling not so good, feel free to call in and exercise your right--

[Janet drops her gun]

Huey : Gun!
Voices: Gun! Freeze!
[every cop in the room draws on Janet; she freezes]
Janet: Hi, guys. A little touchy today?
Suzanne: Mommy, I want to go back to the truck
Janet: Okay, hon.
Robbie: Mom, can I have 50 cents for the candy machine?
Janet: In a minute, sweetheart. Momma’s a little busy right now.
Fraser: [picking up Janet’s gun]
  Gentlemen, please. I’m sure she has a legitimate reason for having this weapon.
Francesca: Excuse me. Want to get the gun out of my face? You can all relax with the gun action. What are you, Arnold Schwartzenegger? She does have a legitimate reason. She’s a bounty hunter.
Voices: Oh. Oh, great.
Janet: Anybody got a problem with that?
[the cops relax, and Janet & Fraser share a look]

[bullpen]
[Janet hands out gum to each kid]

Janet : Okay, I’m just going to be a minute, okay? So everybody don’t move a muscle and be good, right? Okay?
Francesca: So this is all the paperwork?
Janet: Yeah. Uh, it’s uh Bradley Torrance. [kids run off]
  Charges for felony weapons possession, skipped out on 25,000 dollars bail. [Kowalski is comparing her gun to his]  I’m in the employ of Hector J. Jones, bail bondsman, Billing, Montana. And so you’ve got a copy of everything, including the registration for my gun.
Francesca: Guns.
Janet: Yeah.
Ray: Guns.
Janet: Just a few.
Ray: Bounty hunter? You’re a bounty hunter? As in, uh, Wanted Dead Or Alive?
Janet: Dead or alive, seriously injured, whatever. [takes her gun back] [to kids]
  Okay, give me back the gum. You know, we had a deal here. Where’s your sister? Annie?
Annie: Over here.
Janet: Sweetheart, can you just help me out here with the kids for a minute?
Annie: Hey. You’re the mother.
Janet: I know that I’m the mother-- [gesticulating (still holding the gun)]
Fraser: [taking her gun]
  Sorry. It’s just that firearms accounted for 39,595 American deaths last year, 1,441 of them were accidental.
Janet: And less than half of one percent involved licensed professionals, and there were circumstances in each of those cases.
Fraser: True enough.
Janet: But, uh, thanks. [they share a look]
Ray: Fraser, can I have a word with you?
Fraser: Excuse me.
Francesca: So this is really cool. Have you always been a bounty hunter?
Janet: Nah. You know, I started out in construction, and then I, uh, worked the rigs for a while, and then I did a little bit of trick riding in the rodeo...
Ray: Those kids are immature.
Fraser: Well, they’re children, Ray.
[Robbie and Suzanne are playing with a chair, banging it against the wall, which is causing a fan above Annie to wobble precariously]
Francesca: Trick riding. Wow, that must have...been...
Janet: It’s hard on your back.
Francesca: Yeah.
Janet: And you know, it’s-it’s murder on the kids. These-the-the hours.
Francesca: Right.
Janet: They’re just, uh...grueling. So I thought, bounty hunting. You know, the money’s good, you can set your own hours, get a little time off to spend with the kids.
[the fan falls... Fraser dives for it & misses as Janet catches it]
Janet: Got it, thanks.
Fraser: Good. [Fraser cracks neck]
Ray: Good catch.
Janet: Thanks. You know, could you, uh, run a quick plate for me before I go?
Ray: You-you want me to run a plate?
Janet: Yeah. Could you run a plate?
Ray: You mean, like a dinner plate?
Janet: Is he really a cop?
Fraser: Yes, actually, he is. Unfortunately you’ve-you’ve stepped into the middle of labor unrest.
Janet: Blue Flu.
Ray: Yeah, we’re all sick. Very sick. And as you can see, our hands are full. Very full.
Janet: And so you can’t run a plate for me.
Ray: No.
Janet: That’s great. That’s-that’s really great. I really appreciate the, uh, professional support here, and the, uh... Forget it, just forget it. It’s okay. I’m fine. I can do it myself. Come on, kids. Let’s go. We’re out of here. Annie, come on honey, a little smile on your face, please? A little cooperation? Come on.
Fraser: Ma’am. Ma’am?
Janet: What?
Fraser: Your weapon.
Janet: [near tears]
  Damn it.
Fraser: Are you all right?
Janet: Yeah, I just-I’m not getting enough sleep. [exits]
[Kowalski plays an electronic game that involves a ball dangling from a string]

Ray : Triple!

[Fraser turns away, clearly perturbed]

Ray : What? Look, I can’t break ranks on this.
Fraser: Understood.
Ray: No, I can’t. Look, Fraser, I can’t!
Fraser: I heard you, Ray. I understand. [exits]


[Janet’s truck]

[Fraser holds Suzanne and Robbie, who are trying to fight]
Janet: I don’t need the help, you know. I like working alone.
Fraser: Well, actually, I’m not a licensed peace officer in this jurisdiction.
Janet: You’re not?
Fraser: No, I’m afraid not.
Janet: Well then what the hell good are ya?
Fraser: Well, I thought perhaps I could help look after your children.
Robbie: [trying to get to Suzanne]
  Yah, yah, yah.
Suzanne: Ace!
Janet: Well, yeah, okay. You could do that.
Fraser: Done.
Janet: I’m just going to warn you though, if you’re going to be hanging around, I got a bit of a temper.
Fraser: Well, people say the same thing about me.
Janet: Really?
Fraser: No.
Janet: Kind of a long way from home, aren’t you?
Fraser: As are you.
Janet: Yeah. As am I.
Suzanne: You’re sitting on Toad.
Fraser: Am I? Oh, dear. [retrieves the toy]
  Oop, oop. So I am. Ribbit.
Suzanne: Thanks.
Fraser: Did I hurt him?
Suzanne: You can’t hurt him. He’s stuffed.
Robbie: Bozo!
Janet: Robbie!
Fraser: Well, he does have a point.

[Dief tries to bite the stuffed toad]  

Fraser : Dief, do you mind?
[a blue El Camino follows the truck...]

 

[bar; Janet talks to a woman, while kids & Fraser wait in the truck]
Robbie: My mom makes friends really easy.
Fraser: Well, that’s an important ability to have in life.
Annie: She does it just so she can find stuff out.
Fraser: Well, that’s important, too.
Suzanne: Bozo!
Robbie: You’re a bozo.
Suzanne: [points at Fraser]
  He’s a bozo.
Fraser: You know something? I think we’re all bozos.
Janet: Okay, I got you some mints. So before you start hollering that they’re not up to the Holiday Inn standard, I just want you to know that they were all they had.
Fraser: Thank you kindly.
Janet: Well, that was the fugitive’s girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend, actually. Knew her in Montana.
Fraser: Has he contacted her here?
Janet: Mm-hmm. Got an address.
Fraser: Well, before we visit him, I wonder if I could make one suggestion. A potential baby-sitter.


[27th precinct; interrogation room]
Robbie: So they sit right there, the criminals? They sit right there?
Ray: Yeah, and then we ask them questions. Like, uh... If somebody got whacked, we go, “You whack that guy?”
Annie: And if they don’t cooperate? Do you yell at them?
Ray: Yell at them? Uh, yeah, sometimes.
Annie: You must have kids.
Ray: In here, not that often.
Annie: No, I mean you. You got kids?
Ray: Oh, me? [laughs nervously]
  No. I mean, I wanted kids but my wife didn’t so--
Robbie: [has swiped Kowalski’s handcuffs]
  Say you caught a bad guy. Say you caught a bad guy. Say you caught him, and he’s a bad guy. So you take your handcuffs and you put them on the bad guy’s wrists? [fastens cuff to Kowalski’s right wrist]
Ray: Yeah. Like that, right. [Robbie tries to fasten the other side of the handcuffs to the table leg]
  Nah. [laughing]   No, no, no, no, no. [stands & tries to keep the handcuffs away from Robbie]
Robbie: Okay. And then you get the bad guy. And then you get him in the corner? [cornering Kowalski]
Ray: Yeah, sometimes we do that.

[clicking noise]
Robbie: And then you lock the bad guy up.
Ray: [now locked to a pipe]
  Yes, we do that once in a while, but then we let him go, so... Hey kids, keys! [kids leave him there]  Hey, that’s not buddies. I hate you.


[motel; outside room #113]
Janet : Nobody home.
Fraser: No one’s answering.
Janet: Oh, we’d hear him breathing if he were in there?
Fraser: True enough. Maybe we can find a manager who will let us in.
Janet: Well, we could do that, sure, but [kicks in door] why bother him?

 

[inside motel room; Janet sloppily searches]
Fraser: How long have you been doing this kind of work?
Janet: Not long. Why do you ask?
Fraser: You seem to have a natural aptitude for it.
Janet: Well, I grew up in Montana. [Fraser examines, then licks a pair of boots as Janet talks]
  And, uh, my dad was taking me hunting with him by the time I was three. You know, I got to tell you, that there is not a lot of difference between bear hunting and hunting bail jumpers.
Fraser: I suppose not. Although I find the scent trail is much more useful with bear.
Janet: Well, that’s true. And the scat’s more informative.
Fraser: Oh, scat in the city, well, it’s virtually useless.
Janet: Especially in the winter.
Fraser: Yeah, I know. Well, everything’s... [they share another look]
  Uh, how much do you know about this man that you’re hunting? [scrapes mud from boot onto his handkerchief]
Janet: Enough.
Fraser: Is he dangerous?
Janet: Not particularly. [finds envelope]
  Three hundred bucks. [pockets money]
Fraser: Are you planning on taking that?
Janet: You have a problem with that.
Fraser: Well, ordinarily, yes. I have a problem with theft.
Janet: Well, sure. But, uh, this is evidence.
Fraser: Oh.
Janet: Of the fact that he has three hundred dollars. I don’t usually do this, but it just means the kids and I won’t have to spend another night in the truck.
Fraser: I understand.


[outside the motel room; Janet sees a man (Torrance) approaching... she pulls gun]
Janet: Hold it, sweetheart!
Torrance: Hey. Don’t shoot.
Janet: Ride’s over.
Torrance: We-we can cut some sort of a deal, right?
[El Camino appears and a thug (Lopez) shoots from it]
Fraser: Down! [pulls Janet down with him]
[Torrance runs]
Janet: Shouldn’t we do something?

[Fraser is frozen next to her, looking into her eyes]
Fraser: What?
Janet: About the bad guys?
Fraser: Oh, right, the bad guys!
[Torrance gets into a car, but Lopez points his shotgun through the window]

Lopez : Get out of there.

[Fraser disarms Lopez]
Janet: Torrance!

[Torrance pulls away; Janet jumps into car with Torrance & struggles with him, passenger door hanging open]
Torrance: Janet, get out of here!
Janet: You rotten scumbag!
Torrance: You’re going to get us killed!
[Fraser runs alongside El Camino and grabs Lopez’s shotgun, hanging on; the cars flee, side by side... Torrance is amazed to see Fraser hanging off of the El Camino]
Janet: I oughtta to blow your head off.
Torrance: Let go!
[Janet (holding her pistol), then Fraser (holding the shotgun), both get hurled from the moving cars & roll to a stop, as the cars speed off]
Janet: Sorry, my fault.
Fraser: No, I think that was my fault.
Janet: No, I-I couldn’t get a grip on that wheel.
Fraser: Well, I was holding his shotgun.
Janet: Yeah, but I could have spun him out.
Fraser: I could have blown out his tires.


[27th precinct; Kowalski has the shotgun (wrapped in plastic)]
Ray: This is not some penny-ante hood, here. This smells like the real deal. So I’m thinking maybe there’s something you forgot to tell us.
Janet: Oh, I didn’t realize you were working on the case. But, you know, since you asked?
  No. Nothing I forgot to tell you. It’s Bradley Torrance. Small-time slimeball chiseler, pure and simple.
Ray: Small-time guy with big-time guns chasing him.
Janet: I don’t know. Maybe it was mistaken identity.
Fraser: Well, that seems unlikely, given the probability that the men in question followed us to Torrance.
Janet & Ray: What? [they look at each other]
Fraser: Well, I noticed them behind us a couple of times when you were driving.
Janet: You might-you might have mentioned that.
Fraser: Well, I assumed you were aware of them.
Janet: Yeah, maybe I was and maybe I wasn’t, but you know those assumptions can be dangerous.
Fraser: You know, you’re quite right. I-I stand corrected.
Janet: No, no, no, no. I-I-I should have noticed.
Fraser: Well, no, as soon as I saw--
Ray: Listen to you two. You need professional help.
Fraser: Psychiatric?
Ray: No, cop help.
Janet: Well, hey, I tried.
Ray: Yeah, but I told you, we’re in the middle of something here.
Janet: Yeah, so you keep saying.
Ray: Look, I don’t like hairbags shooting up the city any more than you do.
Welsh: Excuse me. With all due respect to your collective illness. You think I might be able to find a detective who will work on an actual crime?
Ray: Keep it real, man. Francesca? Can you get this shotgun up to forensics, see if you can get some prints or something off it?
Francesca: I’m on the phone.
Ray: I know you’re on the phone. After you get off the phone? Hey, hey, hey.
Got the description of the shooters. I want that out to all the beat cars. Make copies of that, okay?
Dewey: Oh, we got plenty of cases at our desks already which deserve our unfocused, undivided attention.
Huey: Hey, no jumping the lines.
Ray: Look, I’m going to have to deal with this later, okay?
Janet: Yeah, sure. Well, that’s fine.
Fraser: I’m sorry.
Janet: No, you’ve been a terrific help. I should go. Okay, come on, kids, saddle up. Let’s go find ourselves a motel! [checks pockets]
  I don’t believe it.
Fraser: What?
Janet: It’s gone. That scumbag took it. The three hundred bucks. He took it.
Suzanne: Mommy, I’m tired.
Janet: Okay hon, come on. [near tears]
  Can you recommend a good parking garage? Preferably one that doesn’t get too much morning sun?


[consulate]
Janet: Let’s go.
Fraser: Constable Turnbull?
Robbie: Wow!
Turnbull: Ah, sir.
Fraser: Ah, Constable, this is Janet Morse These are her children: Annie, Robbie, Sue.
Turnbull: Hello.
Fraser: And they will be sleeping here tonight.
Turnbull: Oh.
Robbie: I want to sleep up there. [rushes toward stairs]
Janet: Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Turnbull: No-no-no-no-no. It’s just that, ah, nobody can sleep up there. It’s the Queen’s bedroom.
Annie: The Queen sleeps here?
Turnbull: Oh, she could. Whenever she’s, uh [blocks stairway] in Chicago, um, the regal suite will always be ready for her.
Robbie: But she’s never actually slept there.
Turnbull: No.
Annie: Princess Di?
Turnbull: No.
Suzanne: Fergie?
Turnbull: No.
Robbie: Has anyone slept there?
Turnbull: Oh, yes indeedy-doo. The chairman of the beef marketing board, huh?
Fraser: I have some bedding in the, uh--

Turnbull : Oh, Bobby Orr slept here once. And k.d. lang. But not at the same time, for obvious reasons.


[Fraser’s office]
Janet: You live here?
Fraser: Yes. Well, until I find something more permanent, which I imagine will be pretty much--
Janet: Like this?
Fraser: Yes, I suppose so.
Janet: Well, you don’t need much.
Fraser: No.
Janet: It’s very peaceful.
[something breaks]
Turnbull: [voice]
  Hey you kids, come here! Ow! That smarts!
Janet: Excuse me.
Turnbull: [voice]
  That’s quite a smack for someone your size.
Janet: Suzanne! [exits]
Annie: [voice]
  Uh oh, here comes Mom. Now you’re going to get it.
Robert Fraser: [voice]
  Minute of your time, son?
[Fraser enters closet]
Robert Fraser: I don’t know. They said that apple wood lasts longer, gives off a pleasant aroma. And that may well be true, but I’ll tell you this much, son. It’s damn difficult to get that stuff to burn.
Fraser: What do you want, Dad?
Robert Fraser: Interesting woman.
Fraser: Yes, she is.
Robert Fraser: Nice kids.
Fraser: [laughs]
  Um. What are you trying to suggest?
Robert Fraser: Oh, I’m not suggesting anything, son. It’s just that lately I’ve been thinking a lot about grandchildren.
Fraser: Grandchildren.
Robert Fraser: Yeah. Well, you know. I’m getting on.
Fraser: Getting on? You’re dead.
Robert Fraser: Yes, I am! And in death, I’m learning to appreciate the importance of family. All of those great times we had together, you know.
Fraser: Dad, Mom and I saw you about once every sixteen weeks, and sometimes then you slept out with the dogs.
Robert Fraser: And there was always a good reason, son. No, no. My mind is hearkening back to those special times. You know, all those...all those great family dinners. [sets record playing]
Fraser: We never had family dinners. [stops record]
Robert Fraser: Well, God willing, someone will die before Christmas and I’ll have them around for dinner. Maybe your cousins, Douglas and Dwayne. They were always fun. In the meantime, make a close appraisal of this girl, Janet. She’d be good for you. She’s sturdy.
Fraser: Sturdy.
Robert Fraser: Yeah.
Fraser: Great advice, Dad. Really. Top-drawer. Thank you.
Robert Fraser: That’s all right, son. Door’s always ajar.


[consulate lobby]
Turnbull: [carrying kids down staircase]
  Now, I thought we discussed this. Absolutely no going upstairs!
Fraser: Constable, have you seen Ms. Morse?
Turnbull: Um, she’s uh--
Fraser: All right, listen. Just continue doing what you’re doing for, uh, well, just... continue doing it.
Turnbull: Oh, but sir--
Fraser: Good man. [exits]
Turnbull: [sighs heavily]
  Okay, I’ve got an idea. I’m going to read you a classic story. Gulliver’s Travels. It’s a story about a man who travels around the world having adventures.
Robbie: Like our dad?
Turnbull: Is your dad a giant? [thump]
  Ow!!
Kids: Come on! [they race upstairs; Turnbull soon follows]


[Kowalski’s car]
Fraser: I found this on a boot in his closet. I believe the mixture to be composed of mud, rubbing alcohol, straw, and horse sweat. [puts it under Kowalski’s nose]
Ray: Aw! I find that all very interesting, Fraser.
Fraser: Well, my conclusion is that it comes from a nearby stables.
  Now, Janet, or Ms. Morse, was with me when I found it, so I believe that she will be at the stables even as we speak.
Ray: You overstand my position on this, Fraser. I cannot
  break ranks on this!
Fraser: No, no, no, no. I understand this completely. So what I was hoping was that we could explore the possibility of pay duty as say, a supplement to your income. It’s my understanding that it’s a common practice for many police officers to lend their services in areas, say, such as crowd control, or additional security.
Ray: Yeah, well, but--
Fraser: Right. So how much would it cost me to hire you to accompany me?
Ray: To the stables.
Fraser: Correct.
Ray: Fifty.
Fraser: Forty.
Ray: Thirty.
Fraser: Twenty.
Ray: Done.


[consulate]
Turnbull: Lilliputians. Lilliputians are little tiny people that make Gulliver looked like a giant.
Suzanne: Like you?
Turnbull: Well, I suppose I am kind of tall.
Suzanne: [whispers]
  (He’s a real bozo.)
Robbie: (Yeah. I’ve got an idea. Just do what I say. Okay?)
Suzanne: (Okay.)
Annie: (Whatever.)
Turnbull: What?


[stables]
[Janet turns corner & bumps into Fraser]

Janet : [gasps]   Jesus!
Fraser: Sorry.
Janet: Oh. Kids okay?
Fraser: Yeah, they’re fine.
Janet: Oh, good. Sorry to duck out like that.
Fraser: Oh, it’s all right.
Ray: Look, I don’t mean to interrupt, but is he here?
Janet: Yeah, head groom said she hired a new guy about four months ago. Different name, but it sounds like him.
Fraser: Torrance! We’re here to help.
Ray: Stop! Chicago PD!
[Torrance gets in a car & peels away; Fraser must leap over it to avoid getting hit]
Ray: Some people you just can’t help.


[consulate]

[Fraser & Janet looking in on kids (and Dief) asleep on the floor]
Fraser: You have beautiful children.
Janet: They’re rats. But you know, when you see them like this, you remember why you really wanted them.
Fraser: You’re lucky.
Janet: Yeah, I am. You know it’s-it’s really nice of you to do this.
Fraser: Oh, it’s my pleasure.
Janet: You mean that?
Fraser: Yes.

[walking toward Fraser’s office]
Janet: You miss home.
Fraser: Yes. You?
Janet: Oh, yes. You got a place?
Fraser: Mm-hmm. Fortitude Bay. It’s a four-day hike in from Chilkoot Pass. It’s very peaceful. Well, once you get past the lava springs and the polecats and the poisonous tundra beetles. You?
Janet: Yeah. Yeah, I do. I’ve a--
Fraser: Here let me, I’ll move this.
Janet: I’ve got a cabin just by a waterfall. Outside Whitefish? Yeah, built it myself. [Janet begins to take off her holsters & guns]
  It’s a pretty little place but, I don’t know, I don’t get up much there anymore, and--
Fraser: It’s very easy to become disconnected.
Janet: That’s right. It is. You know, these problems come crowding in and, and everything’s racing, and I get to the point I just feel like I’m never going to feel that peace and comfort again.
  [stretching]   Ahh.
Fraser: You might feel a little more comfortable without the ankle holster.
Janet: Oh, right. I forgot about that one. I don’t know. It’s just...it’s just hard sometimes, holding this whole thing together.
Fraser: I’m sure it is.
Janet: It’s sort of lonely and uh... Oh, I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. I just... I just feel like I can trust you. Can I trust you?
Fraser: Yes.
Janet: Can I trust you to kiss me?
Fraser: I, uh... [bends toward her]
Robert Fraser: Resist.
Fraser: I can’t.
Janet: You’re right. No, you’re right.
Fraser: No. No, I didn’t mean--
Janet: No, I’ve got those three kids in the other room. I’ve got this husband I got to settle up with. I just feel like I know you.
Fraser: I know.
[they share another look, before Janet exits]
Fraser: Well, thanks a lot.
Robert Fraser: Look at that face. Like a young cadet who just snuck a radio-ologist into the dorm.
Fraser: What are you talking about?
Robert Fraser: Well don’t get all stroppy. It was long before I met your mother.
Fraser: What is wrong with you?!
Robert Fraser: Some people are vulnerable. Their force is at a low ebb. You know, it’s not right to take advantage of people in such a position.
Fraser: Oh, you’re right. I-I behaved improperly.
Robert Fraser: Not you. Her, son. You don’t want to rush into these things.
Fraser: What kind of thing?
Robert Fraser: You’re building a house. Do you want to start with the roof? No. You start with the foundation, one brick on another brick, then the floor, then some walls, a couple of windows...gabled something would be nice, and an oriel or two, bit of stained glass. Then you think about the roof.
Fraser: By any chance do they have any psychiatrists in the afterworld? I mean, someone who could help you?
Robert Fraser: Let’s face it, son. You need somebody, and I think this Janet has got a lot to recommend her. She’s bright, capable, and above all, she’s sturdy. But you got to take it one step at a time. And all this house stuff that I’ve been building up to? She could be your foundation.
Fraser: Do you mind?
Janet: [coming back]
  Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m, uh, I’m going to sleep in the- in the other room with the kids on the floor.
Fraser: No, no, no, no, no. Please, you sleep here, and I’ll, uh, I’ll make other arrangements.
Janet: No, I can’t, I--
Fraser: Please.
Janet: You’re sure?
Fraser: Okay.
Janet: Okay.
Fraser: Good night.
Janet: Good night.

[Music: “Unloved” by Jann Arden. Montage of shared ‘moments’ between Janet & Fraser; they’re just about to kiss, and then--]

Thatcher : Fraser. Fraser!

[consulate hallway]

[Fraser wakes up and gets immediately to his feet; stands at attention in his longjohns]

Fraser : Good morning, sir.
Thatcher: What’s going on?
[Janet comes out of Fraser’s office]

Janet : Morning.
Fraser: Morning.
Janet: Toothpaste? [Fraser points upward]
  Great. [exits]
Fraser: Uh, your, um--
Thatcher: Office.
Fraser: Right. Oh, dear.


[Thatcher’s office]
Thatcher: Tell me something, Constable. Are we running a five-star hotel?
Fraser: No, sir.
Thatcher: A fly-by-night motel?
Fraser: No.
Thatcher: Is it a drop-in center?
Fraser: No, sir.
Thatcher: An orphanage?
Fraser: No.
Thatcher: Perhaps, then, it’s a bordello.
Fraser: No, sir!
Thatcher: So in conclusion, this is not a place where travelers sleep, nor is it a daycare center, and it is most definitely not an institution where you would bring wayward women to satisfy animal needs and unmentionable underwear.
Fraser: Do you mean “desires,” sir?
Thatcher: That’s what I said.
Fraser: So you did, yes.
Thatcher: Good. I’m glad we agree. I await your full report with bated breath.

[pause]

Thatcher : Dismissed. 

[Fraser exits]

[Thatcher walks around her desk to find Turnbull bound and gagged (with an open book on his chest)]
Turnbull: Mmm-hmm-hmm!
Thatcher: Fraser!

[Fraser returns, surprised; Thatcher kneels down & removes tape from Turnbull’s mouth]
Turnbull: [laughs]
  Oh, those kids, sir. What a hoot!


[27th precinct]
Francesca: We got lucky. The prints on the shotgun match the fingers of this guy.
Fraser: That’s the shooter.
Francesca: His name is Harvey “The Nail” Lopez, and he works out of Denver for some mob man.
Ray: Mob guy.
Francesca: Guy. Man. Dude. You gonna to split a hair over this? The Nail’s from Denver, and he works for Lester “The Bull” Rivers. Where do they dream up these names, or do they look through some big book to find them?
Ray: They got a big book. [Frannie gives him a look]
  Uh, long-term bad guy, suspected in three homicides. Hard-core pro.
Fraser: And what’s the connection between Bradley Torrance and organized crime?
Ray: Ask her. She’s the one who’s looking for him.
Janet: For bail-jumping, not for a major crime.
Ray: Oh, and you just happened to have a couple of hit men, trailing behind you in a car.
Janet: So what are you implying?
Ray: I suppose you didn’t know that this Torrance is on the run with a bag full of mob money.
Janet: Bradley?
Ray: Bradley. Organized crime squad in Denver says that, uh, he ripped them off for a couple of mil. Say there’s a contract out on him. I suppose these guys are here to fill it. Maybe with a little help.
Janet: So you think I’m working with them?
Ray: Well, they just couldn’t waltz in here and get the police to help them, now, could they?
Janet: No, Mother Theresa couldn’t walk in here and get any help!
Ray: Cause she can’t walk, for one!
Fraser: All right, all right. Excuse me. I think we should concentrate on trying to find Bradley Torrance. Now we know that he’s got two contract killers after him. There will undoubtedly be additional bounty hunters. He can’t return to his motel room because the police on the street are looking for him.
Janet: Well, if there were any police on the street.
Fraser: Well, what would he do in this situation?
Janet: He’d find a woman to help him.
Ray: Wait, more bounty hunters?

 

[street; three rough-looking guys look at a map, deciding on a plan... they take off (one on a chopper, one in a Humvee, and one in a huge Blazer)]


[bar]
Girlfriend (Helen): Look, I haven’t seen him for days.
Janet: Aw, come on, Helen, we’re just trying to help.
Helen: Like I should really believe that.
Janet: I know I shouldn’t have said I was his sister, but--
[three bounty hunters enter bar]
Ray: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Gentlemen! Chicago PD.
Bounty Hunter 1 (Blazer): We’re the bounty hunters. We want Bradley Torrance.
Janet: Yeah? Well, get in line.
Bounty Hunter 2 (Humvee): [spots Torrance in back of bar]
  There! Get him!

[Torrance runs for his car outside... Bounty Hunter 3 points shotgun through the car window]
Bounty Hunter 3 (Chopper): It’s all over!
Bounty Hunter 2: You’re going back to Big Sky Country.
Bounty Hunter 1: Hey, I saw him first!
Bounty Hunter 2: He’s mine.
Bounty Hunter 3: He belongs to me!
Janet: [shoots into air]
  He’s mine. I laid claim to this stake long before you boys even heard his name.
Bounty Hunter 3: You think so?
Janet: I know so. January 13th, 1986. South Ridgeway Baptist Church, 11:35 a.m. I married this schmuck. He’s mine.


[bar]
Torrance: Well, here we are. Who would have thought it would come to this?
Janet: My mother, my sister, most of my girlfriends...
Helen: Why didn’t you tell me you had a wife?
Bounty Hunter 3: You lied to your woman?
Bounty Hunter 2: Can’t build a relationship on mistrust, man.
Ray: I guess you didn’t think was important to tell us he was your husband.
Janet: You know, I don’t get any help from the cops if I tell them I’m after a deadbeat husband. Especially not my own deadbeat husband. [to Fraser]
  But I, um, I should have told you.
Bounty Hunter 1: Why, you got something going with Hat Boy, here?
Janet: Hey. What’s it to ya?
Bounty Hunter 1: Well, I’m a student of human nature.
Torrance: What is a Mountie doing here, anyway?
Ray: His name is Constable Benton Fraser. He first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of his father, and for reasons that do not need explaining at this juncture, he has remained a lesion--
Fraser: Uh, liaison, Ray. Attached as liaison with the Canadian consulate. You know, it may be possible that your husband had a reason for leaving.
Helen: Yeah, he’s a pig.
Fraser: Well, apart from that. A different reason.
Torrance: Right. What would that be?
Fraser: I’m referring to the killers who are pursuing you. It might be that he didn’t want to lead them to his family.
Bounty Hunter 2: That takes guts.
Torrance: Ha. Didn’t think of that, did you? A lot of guys would have led armed men to their families. Not me. If that’s a crime, I’m guilty.
Bounty Hunter 1: Hey, give the guy a chance.
Janet: Yeah, yeah, yeah. He left six months ago.
Ray: Excuse me, excuse me. I hate to break up a love connection but we got the matter of an outstanding warrant. So I think I’m going to take our little friend down to the station and sort it out.
Torrance: No, this is all a big mistake!
Ray: It usually is!
Torrance: Wait, no, I’m serious. It was just my stupid--
Janet: Yeah, well that much I could believe.
Ray: [to bounty hunters]
  Hey, you fart-hammers pull those weapons in Chicago, you can say good-bye to ‘em, okay?
Torrance: Listen, I-I was playing the horses. I wound up owing Lester Rivers around fifty grand. So he says-he says he’s going to forget the whole thing if I just run this little errand for him.
Fraser: Excuse me. [sniffs Torrance’s fingers]
Torrance: What-what are you doing?
Fraser: Nothing. No, I’m sorry. Please, carry on.
Torrance: I thought you were going to kiss it. He wasn’t going to kiss it, was he?
Ray: You’re lucky he didn’t lick it.

[outside]
Torrance: So anyway, I go. I pick up this package from these two very nasty-looking guys to take back to Lester and I open the package. Well, did you ever see two million dollars? Huh? Well, I’m looking at it, it’s all green and beautiful and I’m thinking this is the last chance I got to do anything for us, you know, for the kids. So-so I lie low for a few days. And then I hear there’s like this contract out on me. And I figure maybe this hasn’t been the best move that I ever made. So I go, I buy a couple of guns from this guy that I know and they bust me for that. Look, I bail myself out, and I run.
Fraser: To protect the children.
Torrance: Right, right. To protect them. And Janet. Look, you don’t know what it’s like for me. You earning the money all the time. What it does to my self-respect.
Janet: Oh. So what you’re saying is, you’re not really a deadbeat.
  You’re just really, really stupid.
Torrance: Right.
Ray: Touching. Get in the car.
Fraser: Look out!
[thugs in El Camino drive up, shooting; cops duck and Torrance runs. Music: “You’re Everywhere” by Blue Rodeo.]
Ray: Hey! Chicago PD!
Rivers: Come here!
Torrance: Lester.
Rivers: Get in! Get in the car! Go!
[Torrance jumps/is pulled into car; El Camino drives off; bounty hunters follow]
Janet: Damn it! Damn, damn, damn. You just let him get away!
Ray: I didn’t let him. You let him get away!
Janet: You are some crackerjack cop!
Ray: Hey, hey. Your husband!
Fraser: Excuse me. I think the question we should be asking ourselves is, where did they take him? Now, judging from the amount of mud and manure under his fingernails, my guess is that they’ve taken--
Janet: Stables.
Fraser: Correct. Ray, shall we?
Ray: Yeah. You realize, of course, that this is going to cost you. Another...fifty.
Fraser: Forty.
Ray: Thirty.
Fraser: Twenty.
Ray: Done.
Janet: You pay this guy?
Fraser: Canadian funds.

 

[Kowalski’s car; they stop for a light and watch the bounty hunters pass, going the wrong way]


[stables]
Torrance: [digging a hole]
  I don’t know why this has to be so big. It’s only a bag. I mean, you could bury a body--
Rivers: Just do it, okay?
Torrance: Lester, I’m giving back the money. You said if I give back the money, you were going to let me live.
Rivers: Dig!


[middle of nowhere – Dead End road]
Bounty Hunter 2: I thought you knew where we were going?
Bounty Hunter 1: What are we going to do now?
Bounty Hunter 2: What the hell?
Bounty Hunter 3: Don’t give me that.
Bounty Hunter 2: Who thought you were right in the first place?
  Wanna go?  Come on, right here!
[they scuffle]


[stables]
Ray: I’ll call for backup. [dials cell phone]
  Vecchio....Uh, it’s an emergency at the racetrack. I need backup....Don’t put-- Don’t put me on hold!
Fraser: I think it’s advisable that we wait for Ray.
Janet: Yeah. That strike ought to be over in a month or so.
Fraser: I have no arrest authority here.
Janet: I do.
[Fraser and Janet enter barn]
Janet: Hold it!
Rivers: You want him dead? Or alive? Drop the gun!
Torrance: Don’t do it, Jan. They’ll kill you.
Janet: That was really unselfish of you, Bradley.
Torrance: Thank you.
Rivers: Okay, so he’s a nice guy. I’m still going to kill him.
[Janet tosses down her gun]
Torrance: Thanks. You shouldn’t have done that, but thanks.
Janet: Yeah, well, I did it for the kids.
Rivers: Shut up! Toss me that bag. Give me that bag. Get it up here. Watch it.
[Kowalski sneaks up and tackles thug]
Janet: Down!
Fraser: Good work, Ray. I’ll get the other one.
Ray: Down!
Janet: Watch this one real good for me, okay? He’s worth twelve hundred bucks.
Ray: Kiss the dirt! Kiss the dirt!
  Get down there. I don’t want to see you.

[Rivers runs off and tackles a guy for his motorcycle; Fraser chases him on foot]
Janet: Fraser! Fraser!
[she rides a horse, leads another; Fraser leaps into the saddle, and they chase Rivers over the grounds... Fraser leaps off horse & tackles Rivers]
Fraser: Good riding.
Janet: You, too.
Fraser: Oh, thank you. Thank you kindly. Oh, I thought I sort of drifted to the left a little, there.
Janet: No, no, not at all. You know, actually I was crowding you a little.
Fraser: Oh, no. No. It’s, uh, I’m very inexperienced.
Janet: Really? Well, you have a wonderful natural aptitude.
Fraser: You think so?
Janet: Yes, yes. You ever thought of, uh, riding trick in a rodeo?

Fraser : No, no. Although you know, now that you mention it, I was once involved in something that resembled trick riding on a renegade bison on the main street of Vegreville, a town that’s noted for its enormous painted egg. Oh, my hat. [retrieves Stetson]  You see, the bison...

[27th precinct]
[Torrance spins in a desk chair, playing with kids & Dief]
Robbie: Faster, faster, faster.
Annie: I can’t go faster.
Welsh: Constable.
Fraser: Leftenant.
Welsh: Glad to see you were able to shake that nagging flu, Ray. [drops files on his desk]
Ray: No one’s happier to be back at work than me, sir. [gives nose/thumb salute]
Fraser: They’re nice kids. I hope their father doesn’t have to go to jail.
Ray: Yeah. Working out a deal to testify against, uh, Lester Rivers. Immunity, witness protection, the whole eight yards.

Fraser : Well, that’s good.

Janet : [quietly]   Bradley, you know, you do something stupid like this again, and I’m going to punch a hole in your back and pull your spine through and beat you over the head with it.
Torrance: That sounds fair, Janet.
Janet: Yeah.


[corridor]
Janet: So anyway, I’m going to work out some arrangement with Bradley.
Fraser: Ah.
Janet: Oh, no, nothing like that, no. I mean, he can come and stay on the weekends or something, but... I’ve got this shed that I’m going to make into a bunkhouse and, you know, he can stay out there.
  It’s not like he’s a great dad, cause, I mean, hell, he’s not even a good dad, but you know, the kids need to see him so I-- You know, what can you do? You just--
Fraser: I understand.
Janet: Well, anyway, I just wanted to say, you know, thanks for all your help, and uh...

Fraser : It was my pleasure.
Janet: Oh, you were great.
Fraser: Thank you.
Janet: Well. So, bye.
Fraser: Okay.
[they walk away from each other]
Fraser: Hey, you know something?
[they come back face to face]
Fraser: You can trust me.
Janet: Yeah, I know.
[they kiss]
Janet: See ya. [exits]
Robert Fraser: A man always feels better when he’s done his duty.
Fraser: [near tears]
  Dad, when you were alone out there without Mom, did you ever feel lonely?
Robert Fraser: Oh, every second, son. Every second.
Fraser: That’s what I thought.
Ray: Hey, buddy, let’s get something to eat. [stops, noticing Fraser hasn’t followed]
  Uh, I know you’re a little short of cash, but, uh, I’m flush, so I’m buying. Look, it’ll be all right. [puts arm around Fraser as they walk around corner]


End

 

 

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