The Wild Bunch

 

[Fraser’s apartment]

[Dief is looking out the window]
Fraser: I’m making up two bowls. One for lunch and one for dinner. Make sure he finishes them and no snacking in between.
Willie: He won’t eat it. He hates vitamins.
Fraser: Well, they’re good for him. He’s been looking a little peaked of late.
Willie: He just wants to get out, you know. Don’t you, boy?
[dogs bark, and Fraser goes to the window]

Fraser : Hmm. Them again.
Willie: They’re not bad.
Fraser: Oh, I’m not saying they are. [to Dief]
  But you think you could exercise better judgment when choosing friends, don’t you? [Dief whines]  No, no. Don’t start with me again. You know what happened last time.
Willie: Oh come on! They’re dogs, they’re supposed to knock over trash cans!
Fraser: Thirty-seven trash cans, all in a row?
Willie: So, they got excited.
Fraser: So did the sanitation engineer! And I didn’t notice either of you offering to carry him to the hospital.
Willie: He weighed three hundred pounds and besides, all he did was faint. Okay, I’ll watch him this time. He’ll never leave my sight.
Fraser: He’s already had one walk today so you feed him, and when I get home from work, we’ll all take a walk together.
Willie: You gave me the job, why won’t you trust me with it?
Fraser: Well I do trust you, I do. It’s just that...

[outside dogs are barking, Dief is wistfully looking out the window]  

Fraser : [aside to Willie]  It’s that he just seems sort of... well, he’s out of sorts lately, and I don’t know what the problem is, because he won’t open up and talk to me, but I think once he and I have had a little chat--
Ray: [bursting in]
  Okay, I’m here. If you want a lift, let’s get in the car.
Willie: I thought he blew it up.
Fraser: He did.
Ray: We’re not talking about that, okay? We don’t mention it, we don’t discuss it.
Willie: Sure.
Ray: Fine.

Ray : Let’s go. [exits]
Willie: [aside to Fraser]
  What’s he driving?
Ray: Heard that!
Fraser: Be right there, Ray. All right, try and have a good day. [exits]
Willie: Hey, boy. Yeah, I know. How about a nice game of Monopoly. No, huh?

[loaner car, engine coughing & sputtering]
Fraser: Nice glove box. [the knob comes off in his hand, then the box pops open]
  Very spacious. Good seat covers. Motor pool?
Ray: I thought we agreed not to talk about it.
Fraser: Ah, of course, of course. The loss of a loved one is always a shock.
Ray: Fraser.
Fraser: Well, I’m sorry, Ray, but-but I do understand. You’d be hard-pressed to find a finer example of Detroit’s automotive engineering than the 1971 Riviera.
Ray: Enough! Okay? Enough. All right? You took the Riv, you drove it all over the countryside, you gave it to a convicted felon, you ran it into a ditch and you forced me to blow it up. You’ve done enough.
Fraser: Lives were saved, Ray.
Ray: And yours was spared. I loved that car. [car dies]
  Not a word.

[Fraser’s apartment]

[Dief still watching out window; dogs downstairs are all barking]
Willie: Can’t you tell them to shut up? Somebody’s going to call the cops. They’re your friends. Do something. You heard Fraser. You’re grounded. [Dief whines]
  Forget it. [Dief groans]  Okay? You’re a bad influence on me you know that? [Dief grumbles]  Okay, okay.

[Willie opens the window & Dief heads straight for his pack, barking like crazy]

Willie : Hey Diefenbaker! Diefenbaker, wait up! Hey! Hey! I’ve got Milk Bones. Anybody want Milk Bones? [Dief & friends run off]  Oh no! I’m dead!

 

 

<Doo Mah>

 

[alley; dogs running & barking (little one bringing up the rear); Willie chases them... Dief heads for a house, gets another dog (Maggie), then they run off after the rest... animal control truck is cruising; dog catcher sees the pack and follows]

[street]

[loaner car hits a pothole, and the front seat caves in. Vecchio & Fraser now sit at a 30° angle...]

 

[alley]

[Dog Catcher (Arnold Benedict) follows pack, almost catches the little one (Pekinese), but Dief distracts him, making him crash his truck into a pile of garbage, and the pack escapes]

Arnold Benedict : Damn dogs. [walks to back of truck & sees Maggie]  Well, well, just what the doctor ordered. [loops noose around her neck]  Nice and easy. Nice and easy. Nice and easy. Come here. Come here. Yeah, that’s good. [looks at her collar]  Maggie, is it? Well, not anymore. [removes collar and tosses it away]  Come on. Come on. [puts Maggie in truck]

[Dief & the Peke see all this, and run after the truck... Willie sees Dief running down the alley at full speed]
Willie: Diefenbaker! No! [dog pack is running straight for him!]
  Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

[they run by, and he thanks the heavens before running after them]

[street]

[loaner car is limping along, and Vecchio stops to allow an elderly lady to cross in front]
Fraser: It’s not a bad ride. I mean, we’ve been driving -- how far we have we driven?
Ray: Two blocks.
Fraser: Ah. [they start to go]
  Ooh, Ray.

[Vecchio slams on the brakes and the Animal Control Truck zooms past]

Ray : Idiot.

[they start to go]
Fraser: Ray!

[Vecchio slams on the brakes and a wolf runs past]

Fraser : Diefenbaker...?
Ray: I know, I know, follow the wolf.

[they start to go]
Fraser: Oh, Ray, whoa!

[Vecchio slams on the brakes and a group of dogs runs past, then a second group, then the Peke]
Ray: Ah, great. Is it safe now, or should I wait for the cattle drive?
Fraser: No, go ahead.

[they start to go, and almost run over Willie]
Willie: Hey, watch it, birdbrain!

[loaner car dies]
Fraser: You know, Ray, I think I’m just gonna--
Ray: Good idea.

[they both jump out and start running after the parade: animal control truck, Dief, the pack, the Peke, Willie, Fraser, then Vecchio]

[alley; Dief stands in the path of the truck; Arnold accelerates...]

Willie : Dief!
[Willie stands beside Dief, and Arnold is forced to stop]

Ray : Get that, kid?  If I find you or the wolf, you’re both dead!

[Benedict gets out of the truck with the noose, and advances on Dief]
Willie: Hey, back off, all right?
Fraser: Excuse me, sir, I’m Constable Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police. May I help you?
Benedict: Not unless you have a gun.
Fraser: Well, I’m afraid I’m not actually--
Benedict: And this animal is under arrest.
Ray: All right, I’m the cop here.
  I’ll say who’s under arrest. [to Fraser]  Who’s under arrest?
Benedict: This wild animal. He chased me for six blocks. He not only violated the leash law, he’s also guilty of disturbing the peace and creating a public nuisance.
Fraser: Officer, uh, Benedict?
Benedict: Yeah. Arnold Benedict.
Fraser: Diefenbaker is my wolf, and I’m afraid I’m entirely responsible for his unfortunate behavior.
Willie: No you’re not. I am. Look, I’m sorry. He just looked so sad cooped up inside that apartment--
Fraser: We’ll discuss your part in this later. In the meantime, I have his license right here.
  If you’d be so kind as to write up a ticket--
Benedict: Hey, I don’t care if you have a license. That animal is crazy, I told you, he tried to attack me.
Ray: All right. Look, buddy, obviously there’s been a misunderstanding here. So the wolf and his friends got a little frisky. Can’t we settle this without going through all that nasty, time-consuming paperwork?
Benedict: No dice. [advances with his noose]

[Dief growls]

Willie : Hey!!

[Dief attacks Benedict]

Fraser : Diefenbaker!
Benedict: He bit me!
Fraser: That’s enough!

[Dief barks]

Fraser : I’m terribly sorry, officer, it’s not at all like him.
Benedict: Sorry isn’t enough, Constable. That is a dangerous animal. He’s going into quarantine.
Fraser: Quarantine?
Benedict: You don’t like it? Talk to a judge.

[pound]
Officer Cuthbert: Could be rabies. Or it could be he just had a bad day. We’ll know soon enough.
Fraser: Thank you, officer.
Cuthbert: Oh, don’t worry. We’ll take good care of him.
Fraser: Yes, sir. [Cuthbert exits]
  It just isn’t like him. What could he possibly have been thinking?
Ray: I don’t know Fraser, for some reason wolves rarely share their innermost thoughts with me. Now you’re gonna have to go to court, and even if he isn’t sick you’re still gonna have to prove that he isn’t a chronic biter.
Fraser: Diefenbaker has never bit a person in his life. I have all of his papers, his shots are up-to-date. He must have had a reason.
Ray: He does have a reason. He’s a wolf.
Fraser: That’s a popular misconception, Ray. Wolves only attack human beings if they’ve been severely provoked.
Willie: So, did you spring him?
Fraser: No. I can’t do that, Willie. Diefenbaker’s broken the law. We have to let justice take it’s course.
Willie: You gotta be kidding me.
Fraser: Hmm-mm.
Willie: Come here. [leads the both onto the other side of door, points to Officer Cuthbert]
  See the way I figure it, that guy in there is really soft, so let’s just slip him a few bucks.
Ray: Good idea.
Fraser: That would be bribery.
Willie & Ray: Right!
Fraser: Absolutely not! The only way that we’re going to help Diefenbaker is to insure that he receives a fair hearing.
Ray: Oh come on, Fraser, he bit the guy. You saw him, I saw him. The wolf’s guilty.
Fraser: But what happened before we got there?
  There could be extenuating circumstances, witnesses to those circumstances.  We won’t know this until we’ve completed our investigation.
Ray: Our investigation? Look, I’ve got a full case load with crimes involving humans. I think that takes precedence.
Fraser: You’re right. You’re too busy.
Ray: Oh come on, Fraser--
Fraser: No. No I mean this, Ray. You have more important things to do. We’ll manage.
Ray: The kid? You’re gonna send a known felon out to solve a crime?
Willie: Hey, I’m strictly misdemeanors, and you know that.
Ray: Fine. Do it on your own! See if I care! [to self]
  Probably wouldn’t even make it past the first witness.

[Fraser’s apartment building; door slammed in Vecchio’s face]
Ray: Well, it seems the wolf has made a less than favorable impression on your neighbors.
Fraser: Well, I can’t see why. I mean he’s very personable once you get to know him.
Ray: Really? Let’s review. One: runs with pack of motley stray dogs.
Fraser: Ray, they’re not dangerous. They just haven’t had a bath.
Ray: Two: knocked over fifty-seven garbage cans while leading the aforesaid pack.
Fraser: Thirty-seven, he helped clean them up afterwards. Furthermore, he is not their leader.
Ray: Three: suspected of killing and eating missing neighborhood pets.
Fraser: Ray, really, that’s another misconception. Wolves only kill when they’re ravenous and their preferred prey is large hoofed animals. I don’t see how Mrs. Pumputis’s Pekinese can bear a passing resemblance to a caribou.
Ray: Well....
Fraser: Even if it was wearing shoes.

[street]
Fraser: Well we haven’t actually found anyone who saw Diefenbaker harass Officer Benedict.
Ray: Yeah, we haven’t found anyone who said Benedict provoked him either.
Fraser: The burden of proof rests with the opposition, Ray.
Ray: Aw, come on, Fraser. Think. We got a wolf on one hand, animal control officer on the other. Who’re you going to believe?
[woman is putting up flyers]
Fraser: Excuse me, ma’am, I couldn’t help noticing that you’re--
Jackie Alexander: Oh have you seen her? She’s a husky. Gray and white. About 35 pounds?
Fraser: Uh, no. I’m afraid not. How long has she been missing?
Jackie: So you’re the Mountie? That wolf is yours, isn’t he?
Fraser: Well, I do own a wolf, yes.
Jackie: Well, how can you bring a wild animal into this neighborhood? Don’t you have any conscience at all?
Fraser: Well, I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m not sure that I understand what you’re suggesting.
Jackie: That wolf of yours has been hanging around these alleys for weeks. Now, I was so scared, I couldn’t even let my son take the dog out for a walk!
Ray: All right lady, the wolf’s in custody, there’s nothing to worry about.
Jackie: My dog is missing. I’ve been talking to the people in the laundromat. They’ve lost pets, too. Now, some of them right out of their own backyard!
Ray: So call animal control.
Jackie: Well, I did! None of them were picked up. They just disappeared like Maggie! I swear to you, if that animal of yours hurt our dog--
Fraser: Ma’am, if that is the case, then I will personally see to it that this situation is immediately and irrevocably dealt with. However, if you don’t have any actual evidence against my wolf...
Jackie: This is my evidence. [hands him a missing dog poster]
  I just better find my dog, you understand?
Street guy: Constable. I just picked this up in the alley and I thought you might want to see it. Some might call it evidence. [hands collar to Fraser]
  Could send a certain wolf up the river for a long time.
Fraser: Thank you very kindly.

[street guy salutes and leaves]
Ray: Great. A dog collar.
Fraser: [reads the name on the collar]
  Maggie.

[pound]
[Maggie whines; Dief is in next cell, and answers her, barks; all the dogs start barking]
Benedict: Cut it out! Shut up, you stupid mutts!
Cuthbert: All right, all right, everybody settle down. [dogs stop barking]
  Thought that room was supposed to be empty.
Benedict: A stray. Just brought her in.
Cuthbert: Want me to write it up?
Benedict: No. I’ll do the paperwork later. Thanks.
Cuthbert: Now you behave, hmm? [exits]

[Benedict slides food to Dief]
Benedict: Shut up in there.
[Dief barks again, then gives up]

[courthouse]
Judge Sherman: Next. Okay. Case number ninety-five-dash-M-one-dash-three-five-two-seven-three-nine. The City of Chicago versus...Diefen...bakia?
Fraser: That’s Diefenbaker, sir. [stands]
Judge: Uh-huh. Constable Fraser, is it?
Fraser: Yes, sir.
Judge: Okay. What I have here is a statement from animal control, blah blah blah... Okay, it seems pretty straight forward. Anything you care to add before I give you my ruling?
Fraser: Yes, there is your honor, may I?

[judge motions & Fraser steps forward]
Willie: He’s going to tell the truth. We’re dead!
Ray: Just give him a chance.
Fraser: On Tuesday last, the accused, that is my wolf, Diefenbaker--
Judge: Wolf?
Fraser: Well yes, sir. He’s a wolf. Uh partly anyway. I’m not sure what the other part is.
Judge: Wait-wait-wait. You let a wolf run loose in the streets and he attacks somebody? Why doesn’t that come as a surprise to me?
Fraser: Uh, well you see, sir, that’s a popular misconception. The fact is--
Ray: Benny, fall back. [steps forward]
  Your honor, Detective Vecchio.
Judge: Uh-huh.
Ray: Let’s cut to the chase. So the wolf took a piece out of the animal control guy. He’s a city bureaucrat. I mean, come on, wouldn’t you do the same if you had the opportunity?
Willie: Oh great!
Fraser: Uh, Ray.
Judge: *Ray* Vecchio?
Ray: Uh yes, Your Honor?
Judge: You’re the cop that got Justice Powell committed to county psychiatric!
Ray: Hey look, just because a judge gets carried out of court on a stretcher screaming a particular detective’s name--
Judge: No-no-no-no. I’m very honored. Really. See I’ve always wanted to know just how many members of his immediate family did you actually indict?
Ray: Well, four including the toddler. But that was an unfortunate error--
Fraser: Uh, Your Honor, about my wolf?
Judge: Right. Okay. Uh, how many people has he actually attacked?
Fraser: Well none. I mean, except in the line of duty.
Judge: Excuse me?
Fraser: Well you see, sir, as a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, I tend to run across desperate criminals on occasion, and Diefenbaker has often been extremely instrumental in bringing about their capture, and their subsequent incarceration. As a matter of fact, I have a letter of gratitude here from an Inuit elder in Tuktoyaktuk--

Judge : No, that’s okay. Thank you very much. Has he ever killed?
Fraser: No, of course not. Well, at least not without cause. There was a nasty incident involving a wolverine on a Northumberland sound--
Judge: Okay, so the answer to my question is ‘Yes.’ Tell me, Constable. Just how long have you had this animal in captivity?
Fraser: Well, I’ve never really thought of him as captive, Your Honor. You see, Diefenbaker was born in the wild, but he came to live with me of his own free will.
Judge: You mean he’s wild? He’d not domesticated?
Fraser: Oh. No-no, no. He’s very sociable, if that’s what you mean.
Judge: No, Constable, that is not what I mean. What you have here is a wild animal living in an apartment. By your own admission has bitten more than one individual and is responsible for killing at least one other animal. This is not Lassie! Order the animal be put to sleep.
Willie: You can’t kill him! He didn’t mean to hurt anybody. Look it was my fault!
Judge: Son, why don’t you let the grown-ups--
Ray: Your Honor, you can’t euthanize him just because he’s wild. Why don’t you send him back to the woods from where he came?
Judge: I can’t do that, Detective. Not so long as there’s any question about him being a danger to man. Sorry. [exits]
Willie: You can’t let them do this!
  Fine. To hell with the law, and to hell with you!
[Fraser is stunned, speechless]


[pound; Fraser is sitting in Dief’s cell]
Fraser: Well, the good news is that Ray says we have nothing to worry about. It turns out, luckily for us, that he’s very well-acquainted with a number of sitting judges, and he’s confident that one of them is bound to grant us a stay of execution. [Dief whines]
  Well, I know, but it’s not inconceivable that he would know one of them, and the least we can do is let him try, don’t you think? ...You know, I was thinking today about that time you pulled me from the Sound and, uh...I know I never really... You did want to come here, didn’t you?  I just took it for granted. I know we never really discussed it, but I would hate to think you came here and stayed here all of this time just out of some kind of misplaced sense of duty. You wouldn’t do that, would you? [Dief whines, Fraser smiles]  I didn’t think you would. You know, I-I could stay if you’d like. I, uh, I brought my bedroll. Okay, well, if you’d rather be alone then.... [goes to leave]

[Dief looks at the wall and whines; clearly agitated, Dief starts barking]

[Maggie’s cell; Benedict is muzzling Maggie]

Benedict : There you go.

[Dief’s cell; Dief barks]

Fraser : Diefenbaker what’s wrong? Diefenbaker!

 

[Benedict wheels Maggie out in a wire crate]

 

[Dief’s cell]

Fraser : All right. I’m leaving now, I’ll be back in the morning.

[Fraser opens the door; Dief sees Maggie and tries to get past Fraser]

Fraser : No!

[Dief has bitten Fraser on the wrist]

[27th precinct]
Elaine: Poor Diefenbaker.
Ray: I said not to worry.
  Didn’t I say that?  This is America, land of the lengthy appeal. I can tie this case up for years faster than you can say ‘Judge Wapner’
Elaine: Sure.
Ray: Now I know some judges that are big dog lovers. A couple of calls and bing bang boom. Dief is as good as a free puppy. You know, I had a loss of my own recently, Elaine, and you didn’t say anything about that.
Elaine: It was a car, Ray.
Ray: Can we not talk about this?
 

[Elaine exits] 

Ray : [on phone]  Hello! Judge Axelrod? Yes, Detective Vecchio here...Uh, yes, sir...uh, no....Why thank you, sir. Yes it has been a long time...Well, I thought it was an open-and-shut case myself too, sir...Dinner plans? ...Of course, I’ll get right to the point. Now you are a pet lover, are you not, sir?  I mean, I recall seeing a picture of Prince, I believe his name was...Your wife’s dog...And the divorce proceedings aren’t going well...Well gee, I’m really sorry to hear that, sir...Bitten as a child? ...Uh, well, you know, if I was in your shoes, sir, I’d do exactly the same thing, yes...Uh, my call?  [Fraser arrives]  Well, ah, you know what, sir? That’s really not important. I mean you got enough, uh, yes....Fine. Well thank you, sir, and God bless, yes.

[hangs up & sighs heavily]

Ray : [cheerily]   It’s going great. I mean I put in a lot of calls and, you know, this animal is as good as sprung.
Fraser: I appreciate you trying, Ray.
Ray: No-no-no. This book--see this book here? This contains the names of over fifty jurists and law makers. I have compromising photos of several. I mean, you know, we have not yet begun to fight. [leafs through book]
  Let’s see, Gold...Gold...Harry Gold.

[pound]

[Cuthbert is padlocking Dief into a wire cage]
Cuthbert: There you go, boy. I know, we don’t like to do it, but when an animal bites its owner, well... Hey. I brought a little something extra for ya. Against the rules but a condemned man needs more than a bowl of kibble and a chew stick.
Benedict: [bursting in, carrying a cage]
  Oh! What are you still doing here?
Cuthbert: Uh, last meal for 21B. A little steak.
Benedict: Why bother?
Cuthbert: Any dog that’d bite you, can’t be all bad, can it?
Benedict: Oh that’s funny. Yeah.
Cuthbert: A new one?
Benedict: No, a mistake. I’m taking him back to his owner.
Cuthbert: Well, lock up.
Benedict: Oh, yeah.
Cuthbert: Good night, guys. [exits]

[knock knock knock]

[Benedict opens the bay door]
Devereaux: Bring us your injured, your weak, and your homeless.
Caulfield: The wretched refuse of your teaming shore.
Benedict: You don’t pay me enough to listen to your stupid jokes.
Devereaux: We do pay you to deliver, and you’re not the only worm around here that’ll steal people’s pets just to earn a few extra bucks. Where’s the husky?

[Benedict unveils Maggie in cage]
Benedict: Beauty, huh? Just like you ordered.
Devereaux: Yeah, too bad. Cause she won’t be when those lab people get through with her.
[they load several cages onto the truck]
Benedict: Hey. Where’s my money?
Devereaux: We get paid on delivery. You get paid when we get paid.

Caulfield : See you tomorrow.

[Willie sneaks into pound... Dief sees him and barks]
Willie : Hey boy, it’s me. Boy, you don’t look so good. What have they been doing to you in here? Ah no, don’t tell me, I can imagine. Hey-hey-hey, look, I’m here to help, okay? We’re gonna have you out of here in no time. [gets out wire clippers from his bag]  Sit back and relax. [Dief groans loudly]  You sure you’re okay? I mean, what that judge said about you just ain’t so, is it? You know, that you’re mad from not being in the wild and all?   Well, even if you are, it doesn’t matter. Now you won’t bite me, will ya?  I mean, we’re friends, aren’t we? I mean, you wouldn’t go and bite a friend, now would you? [cuts the chain]  There, you see? This is going great. I’m here, boy. I’m here. See? I told ya. I didn’t give up on you. How you doing, boy?  Yeah. Come on. We better get out of here.

[27th precinct]
Ray: [on phone]
  Vecchio. V-E-C-C-- What do you mean he doesn’t remember me? How can he not remember me? ...Alzheimer’s. Well, all right, fair enough. [hangs up]
Fraser: It’s all right, Ray.
Ray: Ah, look Fraser, even I know that animal’s your best friend.
Fraser: Yes, but he is an animal.
Ray: Oh, and a Riviera is just a car?
Elaine: Judge Maxwell’s office just called. He died two years ago.
Fraser: Thank you, Elaine.
[Vecchio tears out and crumples a page from ‘The Book’]
 

Ray : Well, those pictures weren’t worth much anyway. [phone rings]  Yello? ....Hold on. [hands the phone to Fraser]

Fraser : Hello?
Cuthbert: It’s the ACC. Your wolf seems to have escaped.
Fraser: Escaped?
Cuthbert: It looks like he might have had some help. It could have been one of those groups who release pets from labs. It’s the fashion these days.
Fraser: Willie.
Cuthbert: What’s that?
Fraser: What will you do now?
Cuthbert: Notify the authorities and send an armed officer out to track him down. He has been ordered destroyed.
Fraser: I understand. Thank you. [to Vecchio]
  Can you take me home?
Ray: Sure.

[Fraser’s apartment; he unlocks a trunk (‘Sgt. R. Fraser’) and takes out a rifle]

[loaner car]
Fraser: Did you get them? [Vecchio shows him a box of shells]
  Could you hold them ‘til I ask for them?
Ray: It that your father’s rifle? [Fraser nods]
  Why don’t you let me do this for you?
Fraser: No, he’s my wolf.

[roadside; Willie and Dief are hitchhiking; a big rig stops]
Trucker: How far you going?
Willie: Canada?
Trucker: Jump up.
Willie: Come on, boy.

[pound]
Cuthbert: Imagine running away to try and release him. Kids got spirit.
Ray: Kid’s a pain in the ass.
Fraser: Would you please notify all the border control points? Thank you.
Ray: What he’s taking him to Canada?
Fraser: He’s taking him back to the wild.
Ray: Hey, that’s out of my jurisdiction.
Fraser: Willie’s in danger, Ray.
Ray: From what, Diefenbaker?

[Fraser shows Vecchio the bandage on his wrist]

[semi truck]

[Dief is barking wildly]
Trucker: What’s with him?
Willie: I don’t know. Diefenbaker? Come here, boy. [trucker lets them off]
  Thanks. [Dief runs off into the woods]  Aw come on, man, this isn’t Canada! Diefenbaker, wait up!  [follows him]

[loaner car]
Ray: Want to talk about it?
Fraser: No.
Ray: Come on, you love that wolf.
Fraser: You loved your car.
Ray: Yeah, but a car isn’t a person. I mean, a car is nothing but a hunk of metal, steel, bolts, and leather. I mean, I know that. But the wolf, it’s the damnedest thing. It was like there’s a person inside of him.
[Vecchio is driving in the slow lane]

 

[snowy wood]
Willie: Diefenbaker, where you going?
  That’s the wrong way! We just came from there. Canada’s that way. [Dief keeps going]  Hey! Hey!

 

[loaner car]
Ray: [into the radio]
  That you, Elaine?
Elaine: Just got word from a Lake County Dispatcher. A trucker reported picking up a kid with a wolf.
Ray: Ya got to hand it to the kid, he’s got fugitive in his blood.
Elaine: Trucker said he dropped them outside of Waukegan. I checked the map. There’s an interchange there that serves the I-94.
Fraser: We’re coming up on it now.
Ray: Thank you kindly, Elaine.

[snowy field]
Willie: Do you know where you’re going? You’re stubborn, you know that? Stubborn and stupid. Hey Diefenbaker, wait up. Dief, wait up. Where you going, boy? Wait up! Come on boy! Diefenbaker!

[snowy wood; Vecchio & Fraser (with rifle) tracking on foot]
Fraser: This is odd. These tracks, they’re headed south.
Ray: That’s back where we came from. Doesn’t the kid know where north is?
Fraser: Well, of course he does. I gave him a compass.
Ray: Yeah, I got a compass for my 10th birthday. Every direction I turned, it pointed north.

Fraser :  Well it wouldn’t matter, Ray. Even if Willie was confused or the compass was broken, all he had to do is follow the highway. Yet these tracks go the other way.
Ray: Good, maybe he got smart and he’s going back home. Look Fraser, the wolf’s crazy.
  Why don’t you let the animal control guys take it from here?
Fraser: He’s not crazy. [examines a tree trunk that’s been shredded]
Ray: He did that?
Fraser: Yes.
Ray: Oh. I wouldn’t call peeling the bark off a tree normal behavior, even for a demented wolf.
Fraser: It’s hunting behavior. When a wolf kills its prey, he peels off the hide. It’s more efficient for digestion. But I don’t see a carcass anywhere.
Ray: This is a good sign?
Fraser: Every wolf raised in the wild is born with the instinct to kill. For food or self-preservation or to protect its own. His anxiousness lately, running with that pack of strays, now this. I think he’s returning to his wild state.

[snowy field, leading to a farm]
Willie: Is that where we’re going? Oh man! And what was with that bark thing?
  If you were hungry, all you had to do was say so. I mean, gee. I did pack sandwiches. Oh man! Fraser’s going to kill me. Wait up, Diefenbaker!

[inside; man is examining Maggie’s teeth]
Buyer: She’ll be fine. Can’t use the others.
Devereaux: What do you expect me to do with them?
Buyer: Bone cancer clinic in Skokie. Call them. [hands him an envelope]
Benedict: [into phone]
  Yeah, no problem. I’m heading North on I-94 right now... Don’t worry, I’ll get him.
Devereaux: What’s that?

[they start divvying up cash]
Benedict: I gotta go. That crazy wolf? He got loose.

[silent, mimed discussion: Benedict: Hey, where’s the rest of my money?! Devereaux: Hey, don’t look at me.]

[outside. Music: ‘Dief’s in Love’ (original score)]
Willie: Where are you going? Diefenbaker, wait up! This isn’t our property, you know. Diefenbaker!
[Dief enters building, Willie close behind]

 

[snowy field; Vecchio & Fraser get closer]

 

[inside; Dief growls, runs, jumps, and knocks over two buyers; barks at Maggie and she follows him]
Benedict: [to escaping Maggie]
  Hey, you!  I’ll get the wolf.
[Devereaux lowers the door, and Willie is trapped]

Devereaux : [to Caulfield]  Get the husky!

[outside; Fraser and Vecchio arrive... Fraser hears a noise, turns and spots Dief running off at full speed... Benedict stops near them, and he aims his rifle]
Ray: Hey, what are you doing?
Benedict: I got orders.
Ray: Yeah, well now you got new ones. Back off.
Fraser: Give me a bullet, Ray. Quickly.
  [he does]

 

[inside]
Devereaux: [to Willie]
  Come here. All right.

[Willie elbows him & runs]

[outside; Fraser puts the bullet into the rifle and takes aim...]

[Maggie runs out of building, Fraser is aiming...]

[Willie runs out of building, Fraser is aiming...]

[Dief is running, Fraser is aiming...]
Benedict: Do it!
Willie: Nooooooo!
[Dief is running, Maggie is running after him; she barks, and he stops]
[Fraser spots the dog]
Fraser: Maggie?
Ray: What?
Fraser: The collar. Maggie!

[Benedict cocks his rifle, aims at Dief...]

[Fraser turns and shoots rifle from his hands]
Willie: There’s more guys inside!
Fraser: It’s my wolf.

[Vecchio takes Benedict’s rifle & leads him away... Willie romps with Dief & Maggie]

 

[inside]
Benedict: You can’t do this. We haven’t done anything illegal.
Caulfield: Well, not strictly.
Ray: Tell it to the judge.

[locks all bad guys into a large cage]
Fraser: [to Dief]
  You know, you could have told me about this. It’s not as though we’re complete strangers. [whispers conspiratorially]  I think she seems to be a very good choice.
Ray: That’s what this was about? He’s got a girlfriend?
Fraser: Well, actually it’s a little more complicated than that, Ray. [whispers to Vecchio] This dog is with child.

[Maggie’s house]
Willie: Puppies? Wow!
Boy (Mack): [hands puppy to Willie]
  His name is Buster.

Willie : Hi, Buster. Cool!

Mack : [offers puppy to Vecchio]  Her name is Sunshine.
Ray: Yeah, that’s real nice, kid, but try not to get the wolf hairs on my clothes.
Jackie Alexander: You sure you don’t want one?
Fraser: Oh, no thank you. One wolf in the family is enough. [Dief whines]
  Well, we can visit. I’ll bring you.
Jackie: Actually I think he can find his own way. But you’re welcome to join him, anytime.
Fraser: Oh well uh, thank you kindly, but I-I-I wouldn’t dream of--
Jackie: I’ll cook.
Fraser: We’d be delighted. [to Dief]
  Wouldn’t we?

[street]
Ray: Ah, I guess it’s a kind of a nice cyclical thing. You blowing up the Riv, and me saving your wolf. On the other hand my Riv can’t be replaced, and your wolf seems to have tripled.
Fraser: Why can’t it be replaced?
Ray: Fraser, ‘71 Rivieras are extremely rare. I traveled all the way to Buffalo to find that car. They’re impossible to find.
Fraser: Huh.
Ray: Huh? What?

[Fraser points toward the street as a green Riv goes by, with a For Sale sign in the window]

Ray : Oh my God! [runs after it]  Hey wait! Wait, stop! Police! Stop! Stop! Hey, hey! Stop! Police! 555-2663. 555-2663. 555-2663. Hey! Hey! Wait up!


End
 

 

Main Index

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

Season 4

FitH