A Hawk and A Handsaw

[hall of hospital]
Ray: You know, I have to do this every two years, and I still get the jitters.
Fraser: Trust your own judgement, Ray. Be honest with them.
Ray: This is a psych review, Benny, not a confessional. Now if you tell them what’s really on your mind, you’re gonna spend the rest of your career filling out traffic reports. Now if I say ‘Mother’ to you, what is the first thing that pops into your mind?
Fraser: ‘Father.’
Ray: ‘Brother.’
Fraser: ‘Sister.’
Ray: Okay, that’s good, because it’s the easy ones they can trip you up on. Mother, father, brother, sister, mother, father, brother, sister, mother, father, brother, sister.
Fraser: Ray, these people are professionals. Won’t they know if you’ve rehearsed your answers?
Ray: Ah, they may suspect but they won’t be able to prove it. Now I go in there unprepared and they say ‘brother’ and I say ‘naked’ I’m gonna be explaining myself away for the next two weeks.
Fraser: You’d say ‘naked’?
Ray: I’m talking hypothetically.
Fraser: I’m sorry, Ray, it just sounded as though you were drawing upon personal experience.
Ray: Well you know, me and my brother, we used to take baths together when we were younger, but what’s wrong with that?
Fraser: Well, nothing. It just seemed like an odd response.
Ray: Ya see? Ya see? Even you’re reading stuff into this. You say something innocent like that and the next thing you know they’re trying to convince you that you have dreams of seeing your mother naked.
Fraser: You had dreams of your mother naked?
Ray: I said brother.
Fraser: You said mother!
Ray: I know what I said. I said brother! It’s my dream, I should know who’s in it.
Fraser: Well how long you been having this dream?
Ray: There is no dream. I made it up!
Fraser: I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything, Ray.
Voice: All staff on fifth floor unit. Emergency.
Nurse1: How did he get out of the ward?
Nurse2: I don’t know!

Fraser : What’s happening?
Nurse1: Jumper.
Fraser: What’s his name?
Nurse1: He’s a John Doe. Come on.

 

[ledge; man (Walter) is pacing]
Fraser: Hi. [climbs onto the ledge]  How we doing today?
Walter: I can’t find him!
Fraser: Who’s that?
Walter: Oh man. I gotta stop him  He is really gonna hurt himself!
Fraser: There’s no one else out here.
Walter: Yes there is. I saw him. He was out here. I saw him out here.
Fraser: Well maybe I can help.
Ray: Don’t go near him, Benny, He’ll take you down with him.
Walter: Oh how? How? How you gonna help?
Fraser: Well, I’m a Mountie.
Walter: A Mountie? You don’t look like a Mountie.
Fraser: Well you know, the red uniform, it’s really mostly for special occasions. Although they do seem to insist that I wear mine more than usual--
Walter: You always get your man, then.
Fraser: You know, that’s a popular misconception. It really isn’t our motto. It was invented by a writer of an early black-and-white movie. Our actual motto, is ‘Maintain the Right.’ Which admittedly may not be as--
Ray: Benny!
Fraser: Yes. Yes, we do often get our man.
Walter: Okay. He told me to meet him at the house. He wasn’t there, and it’s not my-it’s not my fault that I was late, cause I missed the bridge.
Fraser: Yeah, that can happen.
Walter: That’s right. So do you know where he is?
Ray: [whispers]   (Fraser, just tell him what he wants to hear!)
Fraser: No, I don’t.
Walter: Well then, I am too late. [steps off the ledge, and Fraser grabs him by the belt]  He’s down there. He’s down there, isn’t he?
Fraser: No. He’s inside. I saw him inside.
Walter: You saw Ty?
Fraser: Yes.

[Fraser hangs onto him until Walter can get dragged inside]
Nurse2: Where the hell’s a doctor?  Are they never around?
Nurse1: Let’s get you back to your ward, okay?
Walter: Where is he? Where is Ty? Hey, he’s not here. Where is Ty?
Fraser: I’m sorry.
Walter: Hey, you lied to me. But he’s not here, you lied to me!
Nurse1: Come on.
Walter: Why did you lie to me? Look, you’ve got to stop him for me! Ya gotta find him for me, please!

Ray : What ya gonna do, huh?
Fraser: Find Ty.

<Doo Mah>

 

[street]
Ray: Oh come on, Fraser, he said he was looking for Ty. For all we know he could be looking for an article of clothing.
Fraser: We’ll start with what we know, Ray. We know from Elaine that John Doe was taken to the hospital after having been turned in by a bus driver.
Ray: Yeah, five years ago.

 

[bus headquarters]
Bus Driver: It’s been almost that long since I was behind the wheel.
Fraser: You remember him?
Bus Driver: Hard to forget. Poor guy. He rode my bus for weeks. Kept wanting me to take him to some house.
Fraser: Did you always drive the same route?
Bus Driver: Route number nine. I never understood what he meant, though. Seemed harmless enough. He in some kind of trouble?
Ray: No.
Fraser: Yes. What did he do?
Bus Driver: Just ride it. One end to the other looking out the window. I never made him pay. It didn’t seem quite right, seeing I was never actually taking him anywhere. Anyway, my shift ends and he wouldn’t get off. Kept saying I had to take him there now. I reached over to take his arm and he took a swing at me. He wouldn’t get off no matter what.  What could I do? I called the cops.
Ray: Well, we don’t have a record of charges filed.
Bus Driver: Nah. I didn’t have the heart to lock him up. Cops said they’d take him to the psych ward for 72 hours. Check him out. I figured couple, three days with some doctors probably do him some good.
Ray: Well, he’s been in there ever since. No I.D, no name, no home, and possibly violent. He’s one of the few they didn’t dump in the streets.
Bus Driver: Jeez.
Fraser: Do you remember where he wanted to go?
Bus Driver: No, uh, I don’t know, uh. Mark’s house?  Marty’s house?  Uh, it’s been 5 years.
Fraser: Well, we appreciate your time.
Bus Driver: Listen, fellas, if I knew they were gonna lock him up, I never would have made that call. You know?  I might have just -- Mike’s house. That’s it. He wanted to go to Mike’s house. [laughs]   I can’t believe I remembered that. Human mind, pretty wild thing, huh?
Fraser: Yes, it is.

[street]
Ray: Why are you doing this to me, Fraser?
Fraser: Well, I told him I’d help.
Ray: You tell that to everybody!

 

[bus]

Ray : So what are we going to do, sit on this bus until Ty gets on?
Fraser: You know, I looked into that man’s eyes when I was on that ledge, Ray, and saw a man who was lost. You can lose your job, you can lose your home, and it could be devastating. But if you lose yourself, you have nothing.
Ray: Fraser, the guy was looking for Mike’s house on a bus that travels a twelve mile circuit. Do you have any idea how many Mikes live on this bus route? No. And neither do I, and neither does anybody.
Fraser: We’re on the wrong bus.
Ray: This is the number nine!

Fraser : Well he couldn’t find the house again because he was on the wrong bus.  He needed to make a transfer.
Ray: Oh, is that what it says there? Transfer here to Mike’s house?
Fraser: No. He told us. He was late because he missed the bridge.

[standing at bus stop]
Ray: Okay, let’s say he transferred here. Seven bus routes pass over this bridge. How are we gonna know which bus he took?

[bus pulls up & opens doors]
Fraser: Excuse me, can you take us to Mike’s House, please?

[bus shuts doors & pulls away]
Ray: Don’t you think you’re being a wee bit desperate?
Fraser: Well, since he asked the bus driver to take him to Mike’s house, he must have had reason to think the bus driver knew where Mike’s house was.
Ray: Fraser, there’s a guy on my corner who asks me every morning if I’ve seen God. Do you think he really expects me to point him out?
Fraser: Well you know, if you did, Ray, perhaps he’d stop asking.

[bus#2 pulls up & opens doors]

Fraser : Excuse me, could you take us to Mike’s house, please?

[bus#2 shuts doors & pulls away]

Fraser : He didn’t seem to know where it was. Ah, here comes another one.

[on bus]
Fraser: Well, it did take seven tries, Ray.
Ray: I’m telling you, the guy is taking us for a ride. He has no idea where Mike’s house is. He’s probably gonna drop us off in the middle of nowhere and laugh himself sick all the way back downtown.
Fraser: I wonder what Ty was doing that Mr. Doe felt he needed to stop.
Ray: Fraser, the guy’s insane.  He could be talking about Ty Cobb or Ty Babalonia. Maybe he wants her to stop figure skating, which by the way I prefer all men stop doing immediately.
Bus Driver#7: This is your stop. Around the corner, first house on the right, you can’t miss it.
Fraser: Thank you kindly.
Ray: Yep, I can hear him laughing already. [they turn corner – it’s an empty lot]  What did I tell ya? [chases bus]  Stop! Stop! Police! Stop! Police! Stop! I’m going to bust this guy for something.
Bus Driver#7: What’s the problem?
Ray: There’s nothing there, Chuckles.
Bus Driver#7: They must have moved. Explains why nobody’s asked to go in years.
Fraser: Do you know where Mike is?
Bus Driver#7: I think he was killed in the fourteenth century.
Ray: Oh great, so at least we got a murder investigation on our hands.
Bus driver#7: Sit down, sit down, I’ll take you to the church.

[St. Michael’s]
Father Behan: ‘St. Michael’s Halfway House for Troubled Juveniles.’ I thought that a little stuffy. Apparently so did the rest of the kids. Now they just call it Mike’s House. Ha. The first one burned down about four years ago. We couldn’t afford to rebuild so we just rented a place and opened up again. Too many of our young people are turning to crime. We try to subtly put a little bit of spirituality back into them. If they don’t see it coming, they may not know it happened. Ha. I just wish it had happened for Ty.
Ray: Was he a bad kid?
Father Behan: No, just took to drugs. Showed great promise. Natural athlete. Looked after his brother Walter. Now, Walter made all city. Now there was a nice boy. [gets out scrapbook, and shows Fraser Walter’s picture]
Fraser: May I?  [takes book]  Ray?
Father Behan: You know him?
Fraser: Yes. Do you know where we could find Ty?
Father Behan: He died about five years ago.
Fraser: I’m sorry. [looks at pictures]  Well thank you, Father, you’ve been a great help.
Father Behan: You’re welcome.
Ray: Oh so, how did he die?
Father Behan: Suicide. Climbed out on the ledge of his apartment. Jumped. Walter took it very hard. Blamed himself.

Fraser : He was late.

Father Behan: Yeah, got home from work a few minutes after it happened. Poor lad, I haven’t seen him in years. I hope he’s doing well. If you see him, tell him to drop by.
Fraser: I will. Thank you, Father.
Father Behan: God bless.

[outside hospital]
Ray: So what you gonna tell him?
Fraser: Well I don’t know if he’ll hear it, but I owe him the truth. When his brother died five years ago, then there never was anyone on that ledge. [looks over the sidewalk under the ledge where Walter was going to jump]  This concrete is white.
Ray: Oh it’s a color we like to use for sidewalks in America.
Fraser: You know, the Inuit have sixty words to describe snow, Ray, one-third of them concern the color.
Ray: Eskimos don’t have a lot to do in the winter, huh?
Fraser: And compare this patch with the rest, I think you’ll discover this area has been bleached. [sniffs it]  And recently. Someone was on that ledge, Ray. And they ended up here.

[Riv]
Ray: Look, just let it go, okay Fraser? His brother killed himself and then he went nuts. Now, I feel for the guy, but overly-clean cement is not enough evidence to--
Fraser: I think he saw someone on that ledge, Ray. The similarity between the incidents made him believe that it was his brother--
Ray: This guy is crazy!
Fraser: Delusional people don’t simply make things up.
Ray: Yes, they do. That’s the unique quality that makes them delusional.
Fraser: No-no, what I mean is that their delusions are usually grounded in something drawn from the real world. They may be distorted, they may be exaggerated, they may be juggled, they may be romanticized--
Ray: All right, all right. If somebody jumped, where’s the body?
Fraser: Why, I’m sure it’ll show up.
Elaine: [over the radio]  Vecchio, they just fished a body out of the Chicago River near Michigan. Lieutenant says he’ll meet you down there.
Ray: On the way. [to Fraser]  Look, that doesn’t prove anything okay? Bodies turn up everyday in this city.
Fraser: No, I’m sure that’s the case.
Ray: Oh all right, what’s your theory? The guy jumped from the fifth floor of the hospital, caught a thermal updraft and flew the sixteen blocks to the river?
Fraser: Well, that’s just silly, Ray.
Ray: It’s a joke.

[riverside; crime scene & cops, onlookers]
Welsh: Morning, Detective.
Ray: Ah, morning, Lieutenant.
Welsh: You know, I was trying to figure out why I missed you so much yesterday afternoon. Then I realized, you weren’t there. Now perhaps you can explain, Detective, how an entire working day can go by without you doing any actual police work?
Ray: A missing person, sir.
Welsh: Who?
Ray: Ty.
Welsh: Ty.
Ray: Yes, sir.
Welsh: Babalonia?
Ray: Uh, no sir.
Welsh: Ah, it’s too bad. We don’t see enough of her anymore.
Ray: Ah, no we don’t, sir.
Welsh: You are aware we have a naked corpse over there?
Ray: Uh, yes I am, sir. Oh. I’ll uh, go check that out, sir.
Welsh: Good thinking.

 

[at the bruised & wet body]
Ray : Got a cause of death?
Dr. Pearson: You want to know before tomorrow, talk to a gypsy.
Ray: All right, look, just do me a favor.  See the Mountie over there? Tell him the guy drowned.
Dr. Pearson: Forget it!
Ray: Come on, there’s no law against lying to Canadians. I’d owe you one.
Dr. Pearson: Like you’d ever have something I’d want.

Fraser : It would appear he was dead before he hit the water.
Ray: You haven’t even looked at the body yet!
Fraser: Good morning, Dr. Pearson. Am I right?
Ray: The Ice Maiden ain’t talking.
Dr. Pearson: You’re right.
Ray: Now look, I’m saying he jumped off the bridge and died on impact.
Fraser: Although I doubt that he would’ve taken off his clothes before jumping. Multiple fractures, twenty, twenty-one, possibly twenty-three broken bones?
Dr. Pearson: You hit water from high enough, it’s like landing on pavement.
Fraser: By high enough you mean?
Dr. Pearson: A lot higher than that bridge.
Fraser: And if he did land on concrete?
Dr. Pearson: Maybe fifty feet?
Fraser: Five stories. It’s the exact height of that ledge. Thank you. Diefenbaker.
[Dief whines]

Fraser : Diefenbaker. Come. [to Dr. Pearson]  I’m terribly sorry about this. But you see, in the village where he grew up there were very few people with blond hair, and as a result ever since we’ve come to Chicago he’s been...how shall I put this...transfixed. Anyway, that’s not the problem. The problem is, he has a tendency to take advantage of situations. [to Dief]  You cannot expect her to give you a lift home just because the others did. Dr. Pearson’s a very busy person.
Dr. Pearson: No, I’ll be glad to.
Fraser: Although, that’s very kind of you, you see, that would play right into his tendency to manipulate.
Dr. Pearson: It’s no problem.
Fraser: Well, thank you, Dr. Pearson.
Dr. Pearson: Esther.
Fraser: Esther Pearson? You wouldn’t by any way be related to...
Dr. Pearson: No.
Fraser: No, of course you wouldn’t. Thank you kindly. [exits]

 

[street by river]

Fraser : Ray. Whoever dumped that body didn’t want us to know who he was or where he came from.
Ray: Aw Fraser, I’m begging you, please!
Fraser: There’s something going on inside that hospital, Ray.
Ray: You’re crazy!
Fraser: That’s a good idea.

[hospital]
Psychologist: So you’re a Mountie are you?
Fraser: Constable. Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Yes.
Psychologist: Here in Chicago.
Fraser: Well, you see I used to live in the Yukon, but I uncovered a plot that involved drowning caribou and then some men who were dressed in white came after me with homicidal intentions. It’s a rather long story and it takes exactly two hours to tell, but the upshot of it is I was sent here. I think I embarrassed some people in the government.
Psychologist: Do you have anyone who can vouch for you here?
Fraser: Well, yes, there’s my wolf. Although I’m not sure he would vouch for me. If you know anything about lupine behavior, you know how moody they are, and on top of that he’s deaf.

[she pushes a button surreptitiously under the table]
Psychologist: Name?
Fraser: I’d rather not say.

[Nurse3 puts his hands on Fraser’s shoulders... Fraser looks up and smiles innocently]

Fraser : Ah.

[nurse & Fraser exit; psychologist starts a file on “John Doe”]

[Dr. Martin’s office]
Walter: I couldn’t stop him...and uh, I should have been there.
Dr. Martin: John, you couldn’t stop something from happening that didn’t happen.
Walter. No-no, he was there. I saw him out there.
Dr. Martin: John, do you remember when you first came here? Do you remember what you said?
Walter: I think I’ve got to do something.
Dr. Martin: Let’s see your file, John. Take a look at it. You see what it says there? Says here you were looking for Ty and you wanted to stop him.
Walter: Yes, but you see I saw him, uh...oh, yesterday. I saw him yesterday.
Dr. Martin: Look at your file, John. That was five years ago. He couldn’t have been out there. Not yesterday. Not the day before.
Walter: Yeah... It’s very clear.
Dr. Martin: You’re getting a lot better lately, John. A lot better, you know that? You don’t want to go back to the way you were, I know that.
Walter: No, I really don’t.
Dr. Martin: So what did you see on the ledge?
Walter: Uh...nothing.
Dr. Martin: You’re doing just fine.

[Dr. Farmer’s office]
Dr. Farmer: Is he in the test group?
Dr. Martin: Yes. You won’t have any problems with him. Our problem, is with your drug. Five suicides now! That’s totally unacceptable in a sample of fifty!
Dr. Farmer: Forty-five patients with marked improvement. I prefer to see the glass as half-full.
Dr. Martin: You think this is a joke?
Dr. Farmer: Uh, no, Will, what I think is that you are overreacting.
Dr. Martin: Overreacting? We have a body dumped in the river and that--how the hell did I let this happen?
Dr. Farmer: How many manic-depressives are in this country?
Dr. Martin: I don’t want to hear this speech again!
Dr. Farmer: You know as well as I do that nothing, not a drug out there can help them as much as this one has helped those people in there.
Dr. Martin: But it’s killing them for God’s sakes!  Five people have taken their lives!
Dr. Farmer: Five people who had suicidal tendencies before you ever put them on this drug. You know that. There is nothing in the material that links Eighty-Forty with --
Dr. Martin: Oh, come on, we’re writing the materials, and we keep sanitizing it! Every death is just swept under the rug!
Dr. Farmer: The trials will be over soon. In two weeks we’ll go to the FDA and it’ll be out of your hands.
Dr. Martin: And it’ll go on to kill how many more people?
Dr. Farmer: You know damn well that even if they approve it tomorrow, this thing won’t hit the market for another two years, and by then we’ll reduce the risk factor to acceptable levels. But if we have to start over again? My company can’t afford another five years of testing. We’ll go under. And with us will go a drug that could have done a hell of a lot of people a hell of a lot of good. And you’re stock won’t be worth a damn thing. Who knows about the jumper?
Dr. Martin: Just one of the psychiatric assistants.
Dr. Farmer: Danny?
Dr. Martin: Yeah.
Dr. Farmer: He’s a good man. I’ll take care of him. Okay, he was a John Doe, right?
Dr. Martin: Yes.
Dr. Farmer: Then find another one. Give him the same patient number. Fifty patients need to come through this test, Will. Fifty living patients. It’s only two more weeks. You find me a John Doe.

[hospital corridor; Fraser is wearing hospital clothes and Stetson; nurse hands a file to Dr. Martin as they walk by – “John Doe”]

 

[hallway outside Nurse’s Station; patients lined up for meds]
Nurse3 (Danny): You get in line here and they’ll give you your medicine.
Fraser: Thank you kindly.
Danny: You behave and we’re gonna get along just fine. You act up and we’re gonna have to take away your privileges.
Fraser: What privileges might those be?
Danny: You want to keep wearing that hat?
Fraser: I prefer to.
Danny: Then you be a good boy and take all your medicine.
Fraser: Oh. So I shall.

[Danny puts him in back of the line, behind Walter]
Patient1: Psst.  Don’t take your feet off the ground.
Fraser: Okay.
Patient1: If you take your feet off the ground, they’ll kill you.
Fraser: Really?
Patient1: They’ve been trying to kill me for years. But I sleep with my feet off the ground. Rubber soles. They insulate against electricity.
Fraser: You’re absolutely correct.
Patient1: I know.
Fraser: Hi.
Walter: Hi. You’re the guy from the ledge.
Fraser: Yes. [whispers]   (But I would prefer that no one else knew.)
Walter: (You’re a patient here?)
Fraser: (I was admitted for evaluation.)
Walter: (Well, I’m sorry to hear that.)
Fraser: Who was it you saw on that ledge? [Walter doesn’t answer]  You’d rather not talk about it?
Walter: Listen, you just got here, okay?  So you don’t know anything. Believe me. I’ve been here a long time, and I just want to get better and get out.
Fraser: Are you?
Walter: Are I what?
Fraser: Getting better.
Walter: It doesn’t matter what I think.
Fraser: I would’ve thought that’s the only thing that matters.
Patient1: Don’t worry about him. Doesn’t know what he knows.
Patient2: Yeah. You don’t look like Winston.
Fraser: Well, I’m not.
Patient2: You’re on his spot. That-that is Winston’s spot.
Fraser: What happened to Winston?
Patient2: He wouldn’t tell them his name, they killed him.
Patient1: Took his feet off the ground.
Patient2: You stand in his spot, they take you to the Blue Room.
Walter: There’s no Blue Room. But don’t listen to me.  I don’t know what I know.
Patient2: Actually I don’t know what I don’t know neither.
Patient1: Shuffle!
Fraser: Oh right.

[they all shuffle forward in line]
Nurse Unger: Here you go John. [to Fraser]  Hi, who are you?
Fraser: I’d rather not say.
Danny: It’s John Doe.
Nurse Unger: Uh, no, there must be a mistake here.
Danny: No-no-no-no. It’s right here. Number 36.

[nurse goes into office to access computer...taptaptaptap]
Nurse Unger: Nobody tells me anything.
Fraser: Can you tell me where the Blue Room is?
Nurse Unger: Oh, sorry. There’s no blue rooms on this ward. Only beige. It’s suppose to be calming.

[Fraser puts pill in his mouth and starts to leave]
Danny: Whoa-whoa-whoa. Drink your water. [Fraser sips]  The whole thing. [Fraser drinks]

[visitor’s room]
Ray: Your friend, the Ice Maiden, finally served up an autopsy report on the John Doe by the river.
Fraser: Cause of death?
Ray: He was struck by a blunt object. Probably a sidewalk. And the pharmacology report turned up something interesting in his system. The M.E. called it some kind of MAO inhibitor. No buzz, so no street value.
Fraser: Prescription?
Ray: FDA has no record of it. Completely unregistered.
Fraser: I think I know what it is. [takes pill from his mouth]
Ray: Eeeww! How long has that been in there?
Fraser: Two and a half hours.
Ray: Don’t those things dissolve?
Fraser: The key is to control your saliva ducts. They’ve been giving this to every patient on the ward.
Ray: Just put it in there. [offers his pocket]  I’ll check it out.

[they sit quietly for a moment]  

Ray : So how’s the food?

[recreation room; the TV is playing The Adventures of Rin Tin Tin; Fraser finds Walter & Patient1 sitting at a table & joins them]
Fraser: Hi. Hi. How we doing today?
Walter: Some days are better than others.
Fraser: Can I ask you a question? Do you know how long you’ve been in here?
Walter: I’m insane, not stupid.
Fraser: Sorry.
Walter: Yeah, today I know.
Fraser: Can we talk about Ty? [Walter shakes his head no]  What was Winston like?
Patient1: Quiet. He never talked. Paranoid.
Fraser: Oh. So what happen to him?
Walter: Why are you asking us all these things?
Fraser: You were here. You see things.
Patient2: I know where it is.
Fraser: What’s that?
Patient2: Kramer? He went to the Blue Room.
Walter: You don’t know anything.
Patient2: So where’s Kramer then?
Patient1: Don’t go to the Blue Room.
Fraser: Is that where Winston went?
Patient1: I told him. Not to take his feet off the floor.
Walter: There is no Blue Room.
Patient2: What do you know. You’re delusional.
Fraser: Can you show me where it is?
Patient2: You believe me?
Fraser: Yes.
Patient2: You’re scaring me.
Patient1: I’ll go with you. Come on, come on. Feet on the floor.

Fraser : Right.
[Fraser & Patient2 follow Patient1]
Walter: You guys are wasting your time.

[they begin a search of the ward.  Music: “Akua Tuta” by Kashtin]

 

[room]
Fraser: This is the Blue Room? 

[Patient2 nods]
Patient1: C’mere, c’mere!
[stairs]
Fraser: This is it?
Patient1: That’s right.
[supply closet]
Fraser: The Blue Room?
Patient3: Yeah, that’s it.
[Fraser is getting a crowd now as they look in the bathroom]
Patient4: Don’t ever go in there.
Patient1: Unless you really have to.
[past the nurses station]
Patient5: Which way did they go?
Patient6: North by northwest.
Dr. Martin: What was that all about?
Nurse Unger: I think they’re tracking something.
Dr. Martin: Mm.
[the crowd following Fraser has grown...he loses some of them]
Fraser: Hello? This way.
Dr. Martin: Well, keep an eye on the new one, will ya? He could be dangerous.
[yet another room, leading to the ledge]
Fraser: The...Blue Room.
Patient1: Yeah this is the Blue Room.

[Fraser’s room; he is lying on his bed, writing]
Fraser: Hi.
Walter: Hi.
Fraser: Come on in. One of the patients said something and I was just trying to remember where I heard it. My father used to quote it. It’s from Hamlet. ‘I am but mad, north-northwest. When the wind is southerly, I know the difference between a hawk and a handsaw.’
Walter: You’re not helping them, you know.
Fraser: People see things.
Walter: Sometimes they do, but that doesn’t mean that they’re real. That doesn’t mean that it happened.
Fraser: Well, I’m not sure about that. Quite often I see things that nobody else seems to.
Walter: Well, that’s why you’re here.
Fraser: [laughs]   Yes, I suppose so.

[Walter stands looking out the window]
Fraser: It’s a curious thing, reality, isn’t it?
Walter: Yep.
Fraser: So much of the time it seems to be...a matter of what you believe. A lot of people believe in something and that becomes reality, at least for them. And then some people find it easier to make a new reality. Especially if the truth is too painful. But I think you know that, don’t you, Walter?
Walter: Is that who I am?
Fraser: No. That’s just your name. Walter Sparks. But I don’t need to know your name to know who you are.
Walter: Well, I’m not who you think I am.
Fraser: It wasn’t your fault.
Walter: Yes, it was. I was late.
Fraser: Ty made his own decision.
Walter: You know sometimes that’s clear. Sometimes it is, but sometimes I think, uh, it probably would have been easier if I’d killed myself.
Fraser: Maybe it would have been. You know, my mother died when I was very young. I don’t remember a lot about that time except...except my father’s beard. I don’t remember him crying or talking about her. I just woke up one morning and I noticed he had a beard, and it kept getting longer and longer and he got thinner and he stopped going to work. My mother died and my father stopped living. And then one morning I woke up and there was a breakfast waiting for me at the table. Oatmeal and, uh, sliced banana. And he was clean-shaven. And he was crying.
Walter: Well, your dad was a very strong man.
Fraser: He just woke up and the wind was from the south, and he found he still knew the difference between a hawk and a handsaw.

 

[Danny escorts Fraser into a room]
Danny: The visiting room’s being painted. You can meet in here. [exits]
Ray: Got the lab results back on those pills. You were right – it’s the same drug.
Fraser: They must be conducting clinical tests here. The man you pulled out of the river, his name was Winston. The drug was connected to his death, and I think they’re covering up in order to falsify test results. Now what I haven’t been able to figure out is where the “Blue Room” is. Somehow it’s associated with the deaths.
Ray: Okay, only one problem with your theory. The lab says no way the drug is lethal. Worst case is, it may cause some depression.
Fraser: I didn’t listen to what they were telling me. Well, I did, but I listened with my eyeballs.
Ray: You know, you’re really beginning to scare me.
Fraser: Do you know, Ray, all communication is a code of one kind or another?  If you don’t understand the language, it makes no sense. They weren’t talking about the color blue, they were talking about the emotion. The drug causes depression. They went into the blue room, they killed themselves.
Ray: Okay, I’ll be back in twenty with a warrant.
[Vecchio goes to leave, but Fraser spots a small hole in the wall]

Fraser : Ray, who did you tell you were coming here?
Ray: Nobody, why?  [Danny bursts in & holds a gun on Vecchio]  I misunderstood the question. I told everybody I know. I told the State’s Attorney, I told the sheriff, I even told my mother.

[enter Dr. Martin]

Danny : Another John Doe? [Dr. Martin nods]  All right.

[padded room; Vecchio & Fraser are in straitjackets]
Ray: I don’t think they’re really painting the visiting room, Fraser.

 

[Vecchio is struggling mightily, and Fraser calmly lies on the floor]

Ray : Will you take a look at this room? It looks like something out of the dark ages! They’re probably gonna give us shock treatment! I don’t react well to shock treatment!!
Fraser: Calm down, Ray. They’re not going to do anything like that. They’re gonna to kill us.
Ray: Yeah. To most people those would be contradictory thoughts. Heeeeeehhh—

 

[office]

Dr. Martin : [on phone]  He’s a real Mountie! And his pal’s a real cop!...Yes. Yes. They’re under control...No. No, I’m not going to do that! Covering up a suicides, I can somehow rationalize, but not murder. No! You’ll have to think of something else...Yes...I’ll be waiting.
Dr. Farmer: [hangs up car phone]  Coward.

 

[padded room]
Ray: --eeeeeellllllp!!!!
Fraser: It would appear to be a soundproof room.
Ray: You got a better plan?
Fraser: Yes, relax.
Ray: That’s a plan?
Fraser: The more you struggle, Ray, the tighter it becomes. All you have to do is relax completely...Dislocate your shoulder...and pull your arm out of the sleeve. [he has done so]
Ray: Yeah, or you can let me out!
Fraser: Oh yeah. That would work too. Hang on one second. [slips out of jacket, then unbuckles Vecchio as he looks around]   A deadbolt. Keyless entry. Sealed frame, hinged from the outside.
Ray: There’s no windows and a sealed door. You might as well just leave my straightjacket on.
Fraser: Well, if something got in with the door being locked, we should be able to get outside.
Ray: Oh, did something get in?
Fraser: Yes. Air. In spite of being in a hermetically sealed room, we haven’t suffocated.
Ray: You know there’s only one problem with that. We’re a lot bigger than air.
Fraser: Air’s flowing through the padding. [takes the band off of his Stetson, and uses the buckle to cut through the pads]  I sharpened my buckle.
Ray: You anticipated cutting your way out of a rubber room?

[lobby]
Dr. Farmer: You’ve got to learn to finish what you started, Martin.

[padded room]

[Fraser has pulled the pads away, and revealed a rather large vent]
Ray: Bolted shut.
Fraser: Archemedes said, ‘Give me a fulcrum, and a lever long enough, and I can move the world.’

[corridor]
Dr. Martin: I want nothing to do with this.
Dr. Farmer: You’re in, Doc. The appropriate time to battle with your conscience has long since passed you by.

[padded room]

[Vecchio is on all fours, and Fraser is using a long pipe to try to open the vent]
Ray: Why do I always have to be the fulcrum?
Fraser: Stop moving, Ray. You’re dispersing the energy.

[they manage to pry off the vent door]

[enter the doctors & Danny]
Dr. Martin: They were here! They were locked in!
Dr. Farmer: Where does that go?!

[corridor; out of the air duct]
Ray: Fraser, I don’t think this is the way out of here.
Fraser: They’ll discover we’re missing in a matter of minutes. Maybe less. By the time we got back with a warrant there’d be no evidence left to seize. Come on.

[Nurses Station; the door is locked, so Vecchio gets them in; Fraser sits at computer keyboard with his eyes closed, and taps on the desk]
Ray: [whispers]   (I bet if you opened your eyes, you wouldn’t miss the keyboard.)
Fraser: (Although I saw the nurse type in the password, I didn’t actually see it.)
Ray: (Watching with your ears were you?)
Fraser: (Well, yes, you see, each finger applies a different pressure to the key, so each sounds slightly different. Of course, that varies from person to person.)
Ray: (What did this one sound like?)
Fraser: (Something like the tune to ‘I’ve Been Working On The Railroad’)  [he hums, ‘I’ve been working on the railroad,’ then types it]

Computer : Access denied.

[they both hum ‘All the live-long day,’ and Fraser types it]

Computer : Access denied.

[Danny and Dr. Farmer search all the rooms]

 

[Nurses Station]

Computer : Access denied.
Ray: Last chance, Dinah.
Fraser: Perhaps it was the refrain. [both hum ‘Dinah blow your horn,’ he types... access granted]  It was ‘Dinah blow your horn.’

[corridor]
Dr. Martin: Security says they haven’t left the building. I had them post an extra man on each exit.
Danny: Okay we got it. [exits with Dr. Farmer]
Dr. Martin: All right people, back in your rooms! [exits]

Patient5 : (Which way are they going?)
Patient6: (North by northwest.)

[Walter’s room; Drs. & Danny burst in]
Walter: Hey, what’s going on?
Danny: They’re not here.
Walter: Who you looking for?
Dr. Martin: No one.

 

[Nurses Station; printer is printing]
Fraser: All right, that’s the last of them. All five of the deceased and their medical histories.
Ray: Good, now we can get out of here.

[Danny bursts in & holds a syringe to Vecchio’s neck] 

Ray : Maybe not.

Danny : You boys just got yourselves a trip to the Blue Room.
[Dr. Martin deletes computer files & Dr. Farmer burns the paper copies... Nurse Unger sees what is happening and dials the phone]

[corridor; all the patients have come to see what’s happening]

Dr. Martin : [to Danny]  Don’t worry. [to all]  All right, people, step aside.

Danny : [softly, to Vecchio]  There’s a lot of other people who can get hurt here.

Dr. Martin : All right, come on, step aside, people, step aside. Now nothing’s happening here. Nothing’s happening here, get back to your beds.
Ray: Hey, I’m a cop, do something!
Dr. Martin: Back to your beds!
Ray: They want to kill us!
Patient1: Me too!
Ray: Come on, do something!

[patient mutters unintelligibly]
Fraser: They’re confused, Ray.
Dr. Martin: Back to your beds. All right, step aside, people.
Walter: Where you taking ‘em?
Dr. Martin: Nowhere.  Now just step aside.
Walter: No, you’re taking them somewhere.
Dr. Martin: Look, nothing is happening here. Now you’re getting better, John. Don’t start imagining things again. Trust me!
Fraser: Trust what you see, Walter.
Dr. Martin: Do you really want to spend the rest of your life in here?

[Walter moves aside] 

Dr. Martin : All right, come on, people, back to your beds.
[Walter sees the needle at Vecchio’s neck as they pass, then the restraints on Fraser... Walter charges at Danny...]
Walter: AAAAAAAH!
[...and knocks him down.  Fraser, falling over too, gets the restraints to his front, and hits Danny... Dr. Martin runs off, with Fraser close behind... Patients 1&2 run to help Vecchio]

Ray : Hold her down!

[Patients 1&2 restrain Dr. Farmer]

Patient2 : Help!! 

[Dr. Farmer screams]

Patient1 : Help!!

Patient2 : Somebody!

[Dr. Martin goes to escape, see cops arriving, then runs the other way; Fraser just misses him down the hallway, losing his Stetson]
Fraser: [to arriving cops]  Did anyone else come through here?
Cop: Not past us.

Fraser :  All right. South hallway, Farmer and an orderly. [to arriving Vecchio]  Check all the offices!

[Fraser runs off]

[on ledge]
Dr. Martin: Don’t come out here! Not unless you want them scraping both of us off the pavement.
Ray: Am I wearing a funny hat? Do I look like a Mountie? Jump. What do I care.
Dr. Martin: I have a medical degree, officer. Your high school reverse psychology isn’t going to work on me.
Ray: What psychology?  I ain’t going out on that ledge!
Dr. Martin: Goodbye, Detective. [goes to jump]
Ray: Okay, okay. I’m coming out! Don’t jump. [climbs out]
Dr. Martin: Sorry. [goes to jump]
Ray: Fraser! One second.

Dr. Martin : The fact is, Detective, I know what I did and I know what’s going to happen to me.
Ray: FRASER!

[Dr. Martin falls forward, Fraser breaks through the window and grabs Dr. Martin’s ankles]
Dr. Martin: Oof!

[Dr. Martin hangs upside down]
Fraser: You know your Shakespeare, Doctor?
Dr. Martin: I...don’t...get much...chance...to read.
Fraser: Well you will. [shakily]   Ray, you want to give me a-a hand here?
Ray: I’m coming, I’m coming.

[St. Michael’s; lobby]
Father Behan: He’s finishing up. You can go on down.
Fraser: Thank you, Father.
Father Behan: Vecchio, huh? You Catholic?

[Vecchio reaches into his pocket, and hands over a bill with a heavy sigh]

[chapel]
Fraser: Father Behan says this place has never been so clean.
Walter: Yeah, I guess I’m a little bit compulsive.
Fraser: How are you?
Walter: Good. I’m doing okay. I miss Ty. And for the first time I really miss Ty.
Fraser: I’m sorry.
Walter: No, it’s okay. That’s good. In a funny way it means I kinda have him back again. I’d rather miss him than forget him, anyway.