[apartment]
[a woman is preparing a baby for a trip,
secretly]
Vinnie: What
you doing?
Louise: I need
some stuff for Jamie.
Vinnie: What
stuff?
Louise:
Milk.
Vinnie:
[checks the
bag]
You got milk.
Louise: And
diapers, okay? He ran out.
Vinnie: No, he
didn’t.
What are you doing, Louise? You trying to get me
killed?
Louise: Please.
I just I need to go out for a little while.
Vinnie: And I
told you no! I need you here. I need you.
Louise: I hate
you for doing this to us, Vinnie. I swear to God, I hate
you!
Vinnie: Good,
Louise, real good. Now, you want to shut off the
waterworks?
[two thugs burst in
& pin Vinnie to the wall, and Louise hides in the
bedroom... a third thug (Claude)
enters]
Claude: We had
a date last night, Vinnie?
[thugs slap Vinnie
around]
What happened?
Vinnie: I’m
getting the money, I just don’t have it yet.
Claude: Break
his legs.
Vinnie: No!
I’ll get the money! Claude, I swear I’ll have it tomorrow,
man!
Claude: Vinnie,
let’s be honest with ourselves. A little punk like you
will never have ten grand. Shouldn’t have been at that
crap table in the first place. So, learn your lesson and
take it like a man.
Vinnie: No,
Claude! I could get it. The envelope, man. On the TV.
Check the envelope, you’ll see.
Claude: The
envelope. So this is how you’re going to pay me back.
You’re going to use your kid. Vinnie, I was feeling sorry
for you. Now I’m not. So. Tomorrow you bring me the money
or you’re dead.
[Claude & thugs
exit]
Vinnie:
Louise... Louise!
[checks bedroom, but
Louise & baby escaped out the
window]
Damn it,
Louise!
[street; Louise approaches two street
people]
Louise: The
Mountie. Have you guys seen the Mountie?
Bum#1: You have
an appointment?
Louise: Where
is he?
Bum#2: Try the
coffee shop.
Louise: Okay.
[rushes
off]
[coffee
shop]
Ray: I’m not
talking just about a haircut here, Fraser, we’re talking
about a change in lifestyle.
Fraser: There’s
something wrong with your life, Ray?
Ray: No,
there’s something wrong with my hair, and that reflects on
my life. Your hair is who you are, Fraser. It makes a
statement.
Fraser: Oh, I
see.
Waitress:
Coffee?
Ray:
Please.
Fraser
: What does it say?
Ray:
What?
Fraser: Your
hair. What’s it saying?
Ray: At the
moment?
Fraser:
Yeah.
Ray: Well,
let’s see. [looks at
reflection in napkin
holder]
It’s uh...straight and slicked back, so I guess it’s got
that ‘mess with me and you’re dead’ style, good for the
job. The contouring around the ears? That’s unexpected.
Uh, that says...’watch out, this guy might be dangerous.’
And then the feathering around the back? Well, that’s a
nod to the female demographic. So what’s it saying? It’s
saying ‘deadly and dangerous but not afraid to cry.’
Fraser: Really?
What does my hair say?
Ray: Oh, that’s
not hair, Fraser, that’s a pelt.
Fraser:
Oh.
[waitress brings the check]
Ray : Thank you.
Fraser
: Thank you. Thank you
kindly.
[street]
[Louise finds the Riv parked outside the coffee shop; Vinnie looks for her, but only finds the dropped pacifier by the car]
[Vecchio & Fraser leave the
diner]
Ray: You know,
I just have this feeling that something’s missing.
[Vinnie bumps into Fraser & drops the
pacifier]
Fraser: Pardon
me. Oh sir, uh...
[Vinnie walks off, and Fraser picks it up & tosses it
into a garbage
can]
Fraser: It’s to
be expected, Ray. I mean, after all, as a man ages--
Ray: Well, what
are you saying? You saying I’m thinning?
Fraser: No, no,
no. I’m not saying you’re thinning, I’m saying--
Ray: You want
to see thinning? I’m gonna show you thinning.
[spots a woman with
a bicycle]
Ray: Hey,
there, you need a hand?
Girl: That’s
okay, sir.
[exits]
Ray: It’s gone,
Fraser!
Fraser: What’s
gone, Ray?
Ray: That
thing, that ‘je ne
sais quoi.’
Fraser: It’s
just a bald spot, Ray.
Ray: Oh, two
minutes ago I’m thinning, now it’s a bald spot?!
Fraser: I’m
sorry, Ray, but I thought you realized.
Ray: Where?
Where? At the back? Is it bad? How bad...Fraser, there’s a
baby in my car.
Fraser: Yes,
there is, Ray. There certainly
is.
<Doo Mah>
[coffee
shop]
Waitress1:
Isn’t he
cute.
I mean, call me old-fashioned, but I think there’s nothing
as attractive as a man with baby formula on his
sleeve.
Ray: Oh
please!
[Fraser is bottle-feeding the baby, & every woman in
the shop is surrounding
him]
Fraser: Oh
could you, uh, would you mind...
[both waitresses go for a towel, #2 gets it, wipes off sleeve, then dabs at Fraser’s brow]
Waitress2
: Anything else I can get you?
Fraser: Yes,
actually. If you could just uh...
[indicates the
baby’s dirty mouth]
Waitress2
: Oh, sorry.
Fraser: Thank
you.
Ray: This is
pathetic!
Fraser: I know,
but he seems to be enjoying it.
Ray: Not him,
you! Okay. Diaper-changing time. Any
volunteers?
[mass
exodus]
I didn’t think so. Come on let’s dig us up a social
worker.
Fraser: Oh, you
think that’s wise, Ray? I mean, the mother comes looking
for him--
Ray
: What mother? The kid was abandoned.
Fraser: Well
not according to this. Look. Blankets, cloth diapers,
extra clothing. The food is all homemade and in reusable
jars. This mother cares about her child very much.
Ray: Oh yeah.
That’s why she left him in the back of a parked car.
Fraser: I don’t
think she planned to, Ray. I think she’s desperate and she
needs our help.
Ray: How do you
know that?
Fraser: I think
she saw us in here but couldn’t attract our attention. And
she has to live nearby, she couldn’t have run very far
with all of this in her arms.
Ray: Oh come
on, Fraser. Moot point. Procedure is you find an abandoned
kid, you call a social worker and tag, she’s it. Then he
goes to a holding center.
Fraser: Is that
like an orphanage?
Ray: No. It’s a
very modern facility where they hold the kid ‘til they can
place him in a foster home.
Fraser: An
orphanage!
Ray: No, it’s
not an orphanage.
Fraser: What if
the mother wants the child back?
Ray: Well then,
there’ll be an investigation. If it turns out there was
extenuating circumstances. Maybe.
Fraser: I
see.
Ray: Oh come
on, Fraser, don’t give me that big-eyed Mountie look! It’s
police procedure. Now give me the kid. Give me the kid!
[tries to grab the
carrier]
Dief
: <bark>
Fraser:
Diefenbaker, no, you heard him. It’s
procedure.
[to
Vecchio]
He has a philosophical
objection.
You understand.
[into the
Riv]
Ray: So, what,
the wolf has a thing about family values?
Fraser: Well,
most wolves do. Surely you’ve heard of stories of wolves
raising children that were abandoned in the
wilderness?
Ray: Those are
not historical accounts, Fraser, those are Disney
movies.
Fraser: Myth
springs from truth, Ray. Most wolves form very strong
loyalties and will kill to defend them. I know. I’ve
experienced it.
Ray:
Really?
Fraser
: Oh, it’s all right. He knows you. Just keep your hands
where he can see them. And make the puffin face.
[Fraser makes the
face]
Ray: I am not
gonna make the puffin face.
Fraser: Make
the puffin face.
Ray: I don’t
even know what a puffin is.
[Fraser makes the
face]
Oh, you look ridiculous.
Fraser: No, I
don’t.
Ray: Oh yes,
you do.
[playground outside a brick
building]
Fraser: So this
is the...
Ray: It looks
better on the inside.
Fraser: I’m
sure it does.
Ray: Fraser,
It’s not a workhouse. They don’t put kids on treadmills
here.
Fraser: No, no,
no. of course not.
Fraser
: We’ll be right back.
[they make their way
past children who have stopped playing to watch them
intently]
Fraser: They
seem happy enough.
Ray:
[to
kids]
Hi, how are you?
Kid:
[tugs on Vecchio’s
sweater]
Are you my daddy?
Ray: Uh, no
kid, I’m not.
Fraser:
Well-fed, too.
Kid: You’re my
daddy?
Ray:
[kneeling
down]
No. No, kid, I’m not, but I’m sure he’ll be along soon
enough, okay?.
Fraser: Oh yes.
Very soon.
[Vecchio gives the
kid a bill and they walk away; Vecchio turns back to look,
and the kid has turned into Oliver; he shakes his head
& the kid turns back]
Fraser:
Ray?
Ray:
Six
o’clock
!
Fraser:
What?
Ray: You got
‘til
six
o’clock
to find the kid’s mother. After that he hits the
treadmill.
Fraser: Well, I
thought you said that they didn’t have a--
Ray: Never mind
that.
C’mon.
Get in the car.
Fraser:
[to man holding
open the fence for
them]
Thank you kindly.
[they get into the
Riv]
Older
kid: How much
you get?
Kid: Five big
ones.
Older kid: He’s
good. Real
good.
[park]
Ray:
[to mothers with
strollers]
You’re
sure?
She could be blonde or brunette.
Mother1 : Uh-uh.
Mother2
: Sorry.
Mother3: But
cloth
diapers?
How do you prevent them from leaking?
Fraser:
Sphagnum moss. It’s an old Inuit method. Naturally
anti-bacterial, holds three times it’s weight in
liquid.
Mother3:
Really?
Fraser
: Mm-hmm.
Ray: Benny, you
want to save the survival tips for later?
Fraser: Oh, of
course, Ray. [aside
to
mother3]
Just make sure that you check for bugs.
[Mother3 exits with
a bag of moss]
Ray
: All
right.
That’s three parks, two toy stores and a ‘mommy and me’
class. I think we’ve done our duty by the little
tyke.
Fraser: Oh, oh,
Ray. Would you mind? I think he’s got gas.
Ray: Oh come
on, Fraser.
Fraser: No,
no. I changed him. Fair’s fair.
Ray: Look, we
are getting nowhere, okay? We need a better description
than hair color, race and possible matching dimples.
[baby spits up on
his
shoulder]
Oh no! Fraser! Fraser, give me something. Give me a rag.
Give me a hat, give me the hat!
Fraser: Leave
it. Leave it.
Ray: Hey, this
is Armani.
Fraser: It’s
interesting.
Ray: No, it’s
not interesting, it’s vomit. There’s interesting and then
there’s vomit. Now get it off me!
Fraser
: Ray, this isn’t formula. It’s curdled. And I don’t think
it’s cow’s milk, the curdles are too small.
Ray: Well, who
cares what it
is?
Just get me to a dry cleaner, will ya?
Fraser: Where’s
the nearest Dairy
Mart?
[Dairy
Mart]
Clerk: Yep,
it’s vomit all right.
Fraser: Yes,
but do you recognize the curds?
Clerk: I don’t
know. It’s a little chewed up. Maybe if you let it
harden.
Ray: On suede?
What are you, a sadist?
Fraser: Perhaps
an educated guess.
Clerk: Well if
it came out of the child’s stomach, I’d say goat’s milk.
Smaller curd, easier on the tummy.
Ray: You have
anybody who special orders?
Clerk: Oh yeah,
a few. Some have allergies, some just buy it for their
kids.
Ray: How
many?
[Vecchio & Fraser go down the list, getting a lot of doors slammed in their faces, though a postal worker seems very interested in their plight. Music: ‘L’Estralla’ by Dave Wall]
[they finally knock on Vinnie’s door, give up when there’s no answer, then Vinnie appears]
Vinnie : Yeah?
[inside Vinnie’s
apartment]
Vinnie: Things
have been kinda tough, you know, with me out of work and
Louise worried about how we’re gonna take care of Jamie. I
guess she just snapped. The doctor said she was just
depressed after the baby. All she needed was a few weeks
and she’d get over it, but-
Ray: Where is
she now?
Vinnie: Oh,
she’s out looking for Jamie. I mean we both were, right?
But then I came back. I thought maybe somebody would
call.
Fraser: No, I
know. We ran into each other outside the coffee
shop.
Vinnie: Yeah.
Sorry about that. I was pretty freaked out and Louise, she
was even worse. I mean she practically fell apart when she
realized what she did. She’s crazy about this kid. She...
I’ve never seen her cry like that, right? I say to her, I
say, ‘It’s okay. You just made a mistake.’ You can
understand a mistake, can’t you, Detective?
Fraser: Do you
have any
identification?
[hallway]
Louise: The
Mountie. Have you seen him anywhere?
Postal Worker:
Maybe. You his girlfriend?
Louise: No. Did
he have a baby with him?
Postal Worker:
Oh, you got him babysitting for you, huh?
Louise: Please,
can you just tell me if you’ve seen, him?
Postal Worker:
You live on Hastings?
Louise
: Yeah.
Postal Worker:
Then you better hurry.
[Louise
exits]
Babysitting. Why didn’t I think of that?
[chuckles]
[Vinnie’s
apartment]
Ray: All right.
Father’s driver’s license matches the baby’s birth
certificate. I’m happy.
Fraser: Do you
have any family photographs?
Ray: Benny,
it’s the kid’s father. Everything matches up.
Vinnie: It’s
okay. He kinda looked like Kermit the Frog at first, but
that’s him.
Fraser:
Diefenbaker, this is the baby’s father. Well, uh, thank
you for your patience.
Vinnie:
Really? You don’t know what this means to Louise and me.
We won’t forget ya.
Ray: Just don’t
leave the baby unattended
again.
[hallway]
Ray: Ah, I
don’t know. My mother never left me alone, and if she did
there was always somebody there to look after me.
Fraser:
Diefenbaker!
Ray: Oh, great.
We’ve got a jealous wolf now?
[Dief whines & scratches at Vinnie’s
door]
Fraser: What is
it?
Ray: Oh, come
on! He’s already passed the sniff test. What more do you
want?
Fraser: Maybe I
wasn’t specific enough. Maybe I didn’t ask the right
questions.
Ray: Oh what’s
he supposed to be? Some kind of lupine lie detector
now?
Fraser:
Pacifier.
Ray:
What?
Fraser: He
threw the baby’s pacifier onto the ground.
[Fraser kicks in the
door, but Vinnie & baby are gone out the
window]
Fraser: You
take the front.
[Fraser climbs out the window & down the fire escape, but Vinnie is too far away... Fraser takes off his belt and slides down the metal wire to the ground, just missing being run over by Vinnie’s car... Fraser chases on foot, but Dief is faster]
Fraser
: Diefenbaker!
Louise: You! My
baby! What did you do with him?
Fraser: Are you
Louise?
Louise: Yes,
yes! I gave you my baby. So, um, where is he?
Fraser: His
father. I--
Louise: Oh my
God. He’s gonna sell him. He’s gonna sell
Jamie!
[Vinnie’s
apartment]
Ray:
[on cell
phone]
1974 white Chevy convertible. Illinois plate
Robert-John-David-eight-zero-nine...No, no, do not
apprehend. He’s got a kid with him...Just get me a
location. [hangs
up]
Louise: At
first I thought he was letting off steam. He was out of
work, nothing to do but stare at the four walls, so he
would go out at night and bet a little... Lose mostly. And
he would pick up a day of work here and there so I thought
it was just a few bucks. Until his unemployment checks
started to disappear.
Fraser: How
much did he lose?
Louise: He
wouldn’t tell me. But the man, the one who threatened
him... He said ten thousand dollars.
Ray: Musta been
some roll.
Louise: Yeah,
well if you ask me, I think they saw him coming.
Fraser: And the
baby?
Louise: It was
so stupid! I thought he was just talking crazy like he
does sometimes when things get bad, but I never thought
that he would-- There was this man who came by the
neighborhood, and he said he worked for this lawyer who
specialized in helping people like us. People who couldn’t
take care of their kids. I told him to go to hell, but
Vinnie... All that he could see was how much he cost us.
Doctor’s bills, grocery money. I couldn’t work, so that
was Jamie’s fault too. And Vinnie. He was just... he was
just so angry all the time. He wouldn’t even hold him. His
own kid. He’s not-he’s not a bad guy. He didn’t used to
be.
Fraser: We’ll
find him.
Ray: Look, if
you want us to arrest him, you’re gonna have to swear out
a complaint.
Fraser: Is that
what you want?
Louise:
They-they say that you believe in people. That you’re the
only one in the neighborhood without locks on his
doors.
Fraser: Yes,
well that’s not entirely intentional.
Ray: Someone
stole ‘em.
Fraser: This
attorney. Do you remember his name?
[Louise nods &
hands them a business card; B.D. Morisot, ESQ]
[office
lobby]
Millie:
[answering
phones]
Morisot and Associates, attorneys at law, hold please.
Morisot and Associates, attorneys at law. How can I help
you?...She’s in a meeting...Would you like to leave
another message?...Thank you.
Client: Look
it’s been thirty minutes now. Could I just go in and drop
off the--
Millie: You got
a chair?
Client:
Yeah.
Millie: You got
a magazine?
Client: Uh-huh,
but I just want--
Millie:
Sit!
Ray:
[flashing
badge]
You got a mouthpiece named Morisot here?
Millie: It all
depends what flatfoot is asking.
Fraser: You
know, Ray, this may not be best--
Ray: I’ll tell
you what, Millie. You get Morisot out here, or I hold a
seminar on black market baby-selling in your lobby.
Millie:
Magazine?
Ray: Okay, how
many of you folks are here to arrange for adoptions!
Fraser: Ray, we
have no evidence--
Ray: Fraser,
look, this is how it works, okay? A sleezeball lawyer
rents a fancy office, and poor suckers like these thinks
he’s legit. Next thing you know, he’s buying and selling
babies like rugs in the Casbah. Excuse me, ma’am, do you
know what could happen to a little tyke in a place like
this?
Mother: We just
came to use the restroom.
[attorney and Vinnie emerge from an
office]
Morisot: I’m
Miss Morisot. Can I help you, Detective?
Ray: Yeah, you
can turn that baby over to me, or I could slap a pair of
handcuffs on ya.
Morisot:
Perhaps you should step in.
Ray: Perhaps we
should.
[office]
Morisot
: [escorts a couple
out]
This will take just a minute.
[to
Vecchio]
Now just what the hell is this all about?
Fraser: Miss
Morisot, we have reason to believe that that child has
been put up for adoption without the full knowledge and
agreement of both of its parents.
Ray: Which
makes you a fraud, a kidnapper, and not a very nice
person.
Morisot:
Detective, I can’t decide if you are naturally offensive,
or just naturally
ignorant.
In either case, it might behoove you to check your facts
before shooting your mouth off.
Ray: How much
did she offer you, Vinnie? Forty, fifty grand for that
kid?
Vinnie: Can’t
you do something? Get him out of here!
Morisot: I hate
to burst your bubble, Detective, but this is a completely
legal adoption. Any compensation the parents may or may
not receive is fully allowable under Illinois law.
Ray: Oh, come
on!
Louise Webber doesn’t even know her kid’s being sold
off!
Morisot: Louise
Webber sat at this table six weeks ago and signed these
application papers in my presence. You will notice that
they are witnessed, notarized and the appropriate copies
have been filed with Illinois State Adoption Board.
Fraser: The
mother knew?
Morisot: Of
course she knew. I’m a respected attorney, Constable, not
some back-street baby-snatcher. I make my living from
people who trust me and make referrals. That should be
obvious.
Vinnie: I’m out
of here. You deal with this.
Morisot: You
signed an agreement, Vinnie.
Vinnie: I’ll be
there.
Fraser: Oh uh,
Vincent.
Vinnie:
What?
Fraser: Goat’s
milk.
Vinnie:
What?
Fraser: He
drinks goat’s milk. You’re almost out.
[Vinnie
exits]
[street]
Louise:
Vinnie!
Vinnie: You
didn’t tell them, did you?
Louise: I
thought that maybe they wouldn’t help us.
Vinnie: Nobody
is going to help us. We’re in too deep. That’s why we
gotta do this.
Louise: But
Jamie...needs us too.
Vinnie: It’ll
be better for him. You should see these people,
Louise.
They got money. Heaps of it. He’s some big corporate guy.
He’s got his own plane! What are you and I gonna offer
this kid except a whole lot of nothing?
Louise: You
never tried, Vinnie. Not once. You were just too busy
thinking about yourself.
Vinnie: Yeah.
It’s always me. Everything’s my fault. You signed those
papers, Louise! Nobody put a gun to your head.
Louise: We both
did something really stupid, but that doesn’t mean that we
can’t change our minds. Look, the lawyer said--
Vinnie: Both of
us got to back out, not just you. I can’t afford that. I
back out, I’m dead!.
Louise: Vinnie,
please. Think about what you’re doing!
Vinnie: I got
no choice, okay?
Louise: Fine!
You give him to me! Give me my baby! Vinnie. Vinnie,
don’t! Please! Vinnie. Don’t. No! No!
[Vinnie drives
away]
Ray: It’s
over.
Fraser: Not
quite. [Dief is in
Vinnie’s
backseat]
He never listens.
Ray: I’ll get
the car.
[Music: ‘Fear’ by Sarah McLachlan]
[Vinnie checks into a motel; Dief sneaks into the room before Vinnie]
[Fraser’s watching the motel, Vecchio pulls up in the
Riv]
Ray: Do you
know how hard it is to find goat’s milk at a 7-11? If it
wasn’t for the Armenian at the cash register--
Fraser: Thanks,
Ray.
Ray: You’re
breaking your heart over someone else’s kid. It’s not a
smart move.
Fraser: No,
you’re probably right.
Ray: You know
what you’re going to say? You’ll think of
something.
[motel
room]
Vinnie:
[to
Dief]
Come on, get out of here! Get out of here! All right, I’m
calling the pound.
[Dief
growls]
What the hell is wrong with you?
Fraser: I’d
steer the conversation away from dog pounds if I were you.
Not surprisingly, he lacks perspective on the subject. May
I?
Vinnie: What
are you doing here?
Fraser: I got
some things for your son. You might want to warm this
up.
Vinnie: I got
milk. Now you want to get your wolf away from my
kid?
Fraser: Oh
well, that’s-that’s going to be difficult.
Vinnie: Why, is
he nuts or something?
Fraser: No, no,
no, no. It’s just that he rarely does anything that I ask
him. We’ve tried to work through it. God knows I have done
my part, but it’s something we can’t seem to get
past.
Vinnie:
This-this is nuts, man.
Fraser: I know.
I know. I know. It’s a conundrum. But he does seem intent
on staying, so if I were to hazard a guess, I would say
that he must have a reason.
Vinnie: The
wolf.
Fraser:
Apparently.
Vinnie : Mmm.
Fraser
: Did you do anything to make him think you need
him?
Vinnie: Oh come
on, man. What do I need with a wolf?
Fraser: Now
that, that’s an interesting question. According to the
textbooks, the wolf is a hunter, an animal of prey. The
Inuit. The Inuit take a very different view of it.
Vinnie: The
Inuit?
Fraser: People
of the North. They have their own idea of why the wolf was
created. You interested? In the beginning of this legend,
there was a man and woman. And nothing else on Earth
walked or swam or flew. And so the woman dug a big hole in
the ground and she started fishing in it. And she pulled
out all of the animals. And the last animal she pulled out
was the caribou.
Vinnie: Thought
this was about wolves, man.
Fraser: Oh,
they’ll be along in a minute.
Vinnie:
Ah.
Fraser: And so
the woman set the caribou free and ordered it to multiply
and soon the land was full of them. And the people lived
well, and they were happy. But the hunters... The hunters
only killed those caribou that were big and strong, and
soon all that was left were the weak and the sick. And The
People began to starve. So the woman had to make magic
again, and this time she called Amorak, Spirit of the
Wolf, to winnow out the weak and the sick so the herd
would once again be strong. The People realized that the
caribou and the wolf were one. For although the caribou
feeds the wolf, it is the wolf that keeps the caribou
strong.
Vinnie: So,
what are you saying? The wolf’s gonna eat me?
Fraser:
Perhaps.
[Vinnie turns his
back, and Fraser disappears]
[Riv]
Ray: Inuit
story?
Fraser:
Yep.
Ray: Let’s hope
it works.
[motel room, night; Vinnie is sleeping... Dief barks and growls waking Vinnie up sleep]
Vinnie
: Get off me. Get off me!
[Dief
growls]
Vinnie : Get off me. Get off me! [sees baby in distress] Oh my God. Oh my God! Uh. Okay. Okay. All right. It’s okay. It’s okay. Come on, Daddy’s here. Yeah. Okay, yeah. That’s my boy.
[motel room, day; Fraser & Vecchio are sleeping in the
Riv]
Vinnie:
[to
baby]
It’s gonna be okay. And you’re gonna like it. When I was a
kid I always wanted to live in a big house with a
backyard, and you know what? I bet you’ll even gonna have
a tree-house. Things can’t always be the way you want ‘em
to. And sometimes you gotta do what you gotta
do.
You better learn that. You can kid yourself
sometimes.
But when you do, it catches up to you. So don’t say your
old man never taught you anything.
[Fraser wakes up as a sedan approaches, and nudges Vecchio awake]
[Vinnie opens the door, and Claude & 2 thugs are
there]
Claude: Need a
lift, Vinnie?
Vinnie: Easy
man, watch the kid!
[thug shuts the
door, locking Dief inside]
[Riv]
Ray: They’re
gonna kill him.
Fraser: No. No
they’ll get their money first.
[Fraser &
Vecchio follow the sedan]
[Maid opens the motel door, and Dief escapes]
[airport]
[Music: ‘Worlds Away’ by The Northern Pikes and Jay Semko. Well-to-do couple waits by a Lear jet, with Miss Morisot; the sedan arrives, and all pile out... Louise came by taxi, and is waiting for them]
Louise : I just want to say goodbye. [kisses the baby & walks away]
Claude : Cheer up. You’re gonna be a free man soon.
Ray: So we’re
just gonna sit this one out?
Fraser: You
can’t solve peoples problems for them, Ray.
Ray: Well, at
least he’ll have a new home and
parents.
He’s probably better off.
[couple opens briefcase containing lots of cash; Vinnie takes the case, then...
...hits Clause in the face with it, and takes off running
with the
baby]
Ray: Oh great,
so now he changes his mind, with guns and
criminals?!
Claude: Shoot
him please! [Vinnie
is sprinting away]
Thug: In the
back?
Claude: Unless
you can think of a better angle. Yes.
[Louise jumps out of
the cab]
Louise:
Vinnie!
[a luggage cart goes by, blocking the shot]
Thug
: Damn!
Claude: Get
him!
[Fraser &
Vecchio climb down from the luggage car]
Ray: Okay, we
saved his life for fifteen seconds. Now what?
Fraser: You
take the big one, I’ll take the bigger one.
Ray: Fraser,
There’s three of them. Can’t I just shoot ‘em?
Fraser: Not
unless you want to blow up 32 tons of jet fuel.
[they brain the
thugs with suitcases & fight, as Claude goes after
Vinnie in the sedan; Fraser & Vecchio gain the upper
hand; Vecchio cuffs them; Fraser sees that Claude has
reached Vinnie]
Fraser : No!
Claude:
[pointing
gun]
Give me the kid, Vinnie.
Vinnie: I’m not
doing it, man.
Claude: Of
course you are. Even the lowest creature is blessed with a
survival instinct. Come on, Vinnie. Give me the kid.
Vinnie: No way,
man. You want to take me out, go ahead, but you’re not
getting my kid.
Claude: It’s
your choice.
[Dief barks wildly
& jumps onto Claude, disarming him & holding him
down]
Claude: Are
you going to call him off?
Fraser:
Diefenbaker. Off. He never listens.
Ray: It’s
true.
Vinnie: Let’s
go home.
[Louise hands the baby to
Fraser]
Louise:
[very
angry]
You take our kid!
[hitting]
You scare the hell out of me!
[hitting]
You got a lot to make up for, man.
[takes the baby
back]
Thank you.
Fraser: You’re
welcome.
[Vinnie holds the
taxi door open for her, and she locks him out]
Vinnie
: [to Fraser &
Vecchio]
She’s a little
upset.
Louise!
Can’t we talk about this?
[gets into the front
seat & they drive
away]
Ray
: I think she was nearsighted.
Fraser:
Who?
Ray: The chick
with the bike.
Fraser: Oh, you
mean at the coffee shop.
Ray:
Yeah.
Fraser: Ah.
Well, she’s probably too young for you, Ray.
Ray: Oh, no,
no. It’s not her. It’s just that she didn’t notice my
‘je ne sais
quoi.’
Fraser: From
the French, meaning ‘I don’t know what’?
Ray:
Yeah.
Fraser: Have
you ever considered that maybe you’ve just replaced it
with something else?
Ray: Really?
What?
[Fraser stands back and looks at him
critically]
Fraser: Yeah,
that’s it.
Ray:
What?
Fraser: I’d
rather not say.
Ray:
[laughs]
Come on, Fraser.
Fraser: No,
Ray, it’s your hair. You know, it wouldn’t be right.
Ray: No, no,
we’re partners, man! You got to be brutally honest with
me.
Fraser: All
right. In one phrase?
Je ne sais
quoi.
[Vecchio
laughs]
End