[high floor of skyscraper
(One LaSalle Street Building): Lloyd & Little Brokerage]
[three people wearing ski
masks and sunglasses step out of the elevator, brandishing weapons]
Robbers: Good afternoon.
[woman screams] Get down on the floor! On the floor now! Get
down now! Nobody move. [more screams;
robber shoots the security guard] On
the ground! Keep your head down. Get
down. [everyone is hitting the deck] Get down there. Get on the floor. Get down.
Stay on the floor. Shut up! Get out of my way.
[they locate the manager and he
opens the vault at gunpoint; robber takes a manila envelope and puts it in a
leather bag] Here it is. Let’s go.
Move. Move. Move. Come on. Nobody move. Get back down. On the floor. On the
floor. Get back down. [they exit via elevator; they change clothes
and split up outside, leaving nonchalantly]
<Doo
Mah>
[in Buick Riviera]
Ray: Fraser, you do
not want to live in this neighborhood. Cops do not live in areas like this.
Most people we bust won’t even live here.
Fraser: Why? It’s
central, convenient. I can walk to work in seven minutes.
Ray: Not without
backup.
Fraser: 231. It’s just
up on the right.
Ray: Do me a favor.
Let’s just turn around. I’ll take you back to your hotel.
Fraser: Oh I can’t. I
checked out. The windows wouldn’t open.
Ray: Fraser, this is
Chicago. The only reason to open a window is to get a better aim.
[inside (run-down) apartment
building]
Ray: Oh, yeah. I can
see what draws you to this place. Decorative graffiti motif. The clever use of
plumbing to create the waterfall effect. And the ease and convenience of being
able to dump your garbage right into the hall.
Fraser: I forgot to ask
if they take pets. Diefenbaker!
Ray: Oh yeah, A dog
could easily throw off the delicately balanced ecosystem. Don’t worry big fella, you’ll have plenty to hunt in here.
Fraser: [to man sleeping on stairwell] Pardon us.
Dennis: Yo. I found the
key.
Fraser: I’ll be right
up, sir. [aside] Ray. Ray. Ray.
Ray: What?
Fraser: Is my lanyard
straight?
Ray: [loudly]
He’s a slumlord!
Dennis: Up here on the
terrace level is where you get your great view. Of course it costs a little
extra, but it’s worth every penny.
Ray: Is there a
terrace?
Dennis: No.
Fraser: Would you like
to see my references now?
Dennis: References?
Ray: It’s like a rap
sheet.
Dennis: No, that’s
okay.
Fraser: Mrs. Garcia,
Mr. Campbell. Hello Mr. Mustafi! [slam]
Ray: You know these
people?
Fraser: No, I memorized
their names from the mailboxes. Good morning Mrs. Krezjapolov.
[slam]
It only takes a little extra
effort to be a good neighbor, Ray.
[Dennis opens the door]
Dennis: This is the
place. The furniture, appliances, and all of this great stuff is included. [light
bulb bursts] Utilities are extra. On a good date, you can see Canada just
across the lake.
Fraser: Canada’s 480
miles due north.
Dennis: You have to
really squint.
[woman screams; in the
street a person runs off, purse in hand]
Woman: Get him! He’s got my bag!
Fraser: Excuse me. I’ll
be back. Dief, go!
[Dief runs out the door, and
Fraser jumps out the window; Vecchio & Dennis watch astonished as Fraser
climbs the fire escape to the roof]
Dennis: He’s not some
kind of nut, is he?
Ray: He’s a Mountie.
It’s something they do.
[Vecchio sticks his leg out
the window]
Ray: Hey Benny, you
wanna hold up there?
Dennis: [yelling out the window] Hey, you taking the place or what?
Fraser: I’ll be right
back with the deposit.
Dennis: Well, you
better. This place is in high demand.
[Vecchio drops carefully to
the landing]
[Dief leaps through doorway
flanked by two out-of-it vagrants]
Street person1: Looked like a
wolf.
Street person2: Yep.
[purse-snatcher (Willie)
runs along the sidewalk, followed by Dief; Fraser follows on rooftops, leaping
over an alley, and landing into the midst of a work site]
Fraser: Morning.
Rooftop Worker: [stunned]
Morning.
[Vecchio comes to the gap,
and pauses…]
Ray: Well, come on!
You gonna help me or what?
Rooftop Worker: [eating banana] I’m on lunch.
[Willie runs down another
alley]
Fraser: This-- [leaps, barely catching building across the
alley] --was a mistake.
[Vecchio climbs very
carefully across his alley on a metal ladder]
Ray: Okay, this is
good. This is fine. [slips] Whoa! Don’t shake it!
[pursuit continues through
backyards, Fraser & Dief following; Vecchio tumbles over an edge, and
nearly falls to the ground; he goes back to the work site and takes the ladder]
Rooftop Worker: Hey, I’m
working here!
Ray: So sue me.
[Willie climbs over a fence, and Dief does, too; Fraser shimmies down a drainpipe that starts to come away from the wall…]
Fraser: Oh.
[…and lands on his feet
directly in front of Willie]
Fraser: That’s far
enough, son.
Willie: What are you, a
flying boy scout or something?
Fraser: Constable
Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police. [Dief growls menacingly] You’ve
broken the law, son. That carries a heavy penalty, perhaps you didn’t think
that through.
Willie: Man, back off,
okay, just back off!
Fraser: Well, I’m
afraid I can’t do that. Now if you’ll hand me that purse--
Willie: I said, BACK
OFF! [pulls
gun]
Fraser: Diefenbaker.
No. [Dief stops growling]
Willie: Yeah, you
better keep that dog off me, or else I’m gonna pop him, too!
Fraser: No, you won’t.
You’re gonna hand me that gun, you’re gonna return that purse, and you’re gonna
apologize to that lady.
Willie: Why? I got the
gun.
Fraser: Because you
don’t want to hurt anyone. And because if you don’t, you might end up hurting
yourself.
[pause, then Willie hands
Fraser the gun]
Willie: Well, you know,
you lucky, cop. I coulda shot you right through the
heart.
Fraser: I don’t think
so, because that would require knowing how to take off the safety.
Ray: Aaaaaaah! *thump*
[as Vecchio falls off the roof]
[street]
Mrs. Dogwood: Apartment 4D.
Six o’clock.
Fraser: Well thank you
Mrs. Dogwood, I look forward to it.
Mrs. Dogwood: Please, call me
Enid. [exits]
Ray: Hey! Hey!!
What’s going on?
Fraser: I’ve just been
invited to dinner.
Ray: No, where is
he?
Fraser: Who?
Ray: The kid! The
purse snatcher. Where is he? I wanna book him.
Fraser: Oh, I let him
go.
Ray: You let him go?
Fraser: Well, he
apologized and promised never to steal again.
Ray: You just let
him go?!
Fraser: Not without a
stern warning. Also, he gave me this. [hands Vecchio the gun]
[they get into the Riv]
Ray: Does the word
‘incarcerate’ mean anything to you?!?
Fraser: Well, it’s from
the medieval Latin, ‘incarceratus,’
to imprison--
Ray: Medieval Latin?
You let a perp go and you’re giving me medieval
Latin?
Fraser: Actually,
perpetrator is also Latin, from ‘perpetrare’--
Ray: Shut up, okay?
Just shut up.
[consulate; Fraser is
motionless doing guard duty]
Marauding Cleaner Salesman: [polishing Fraser’s boot] Now, you strike me as a man with who has only
one thing on his mind. You’re saying to yourself, ‘Why do I need another
all-purpose cleanser?’ Now, Dandy
Cleanser isn’t just any cleaning product. It removes rust, stains, mildew, and
always leaves a dandy shine. Hey, look! You can see your face in it.
Ray: No kidding, can
you see my badge in it?
Marauding Cleaner Salesman: In fact I can. [exits]
Ray: [sighs]
Okay. I know you’re acting as Canada’s last line of defense here,
guarding your consulate against marauding cleanser salesmen, but we’ve got a
problem. You know that gun you took off that purse snatcher this morning? I ran
it through ballistics, guess what it spit out?
Go ahead, guess. [scoffs] You need a clue? It rhymes with ‘the kid
shot somebody.’ [pause] All right, not
interested? I’ll catch you later. [walks
away]
[bell tolls]
Fraser: Ray.
Ray: Ah, sure. Now you want to talk.
Fraser: Shift just
ended. What do you mean he shot somebody?
Ray: A bullet from
the kid’s gun matches one that they dug out of a guy’s arm yesterday. Robbery
at a brokerage firm.
Fraser: Diefenbaker. [to Vecchio]
He didn’t do it you know. The kid.
Ray: And if he did,
I’m sure he apologized.
[27th precinct;
interrogation room A; Fraser & Vecchio watch through 2-way mirror]
Huey: Okay, Mr.
Hamlin. As we play the tape I want you
to talk us through it, all right?
Hamlin: Okay.
Huey: Okay.
Gardino: Play the tape?
Huey: Go ahead.
Ray: Security camera
runs twenty four hours in the place. They come in at 4:38, they’re gone by
4:41. Three minutes.
Fraser: Indicating
someone with a lot of experience.
Ray: Or somebody
quick on their feet.
Hamlin: There they are.
There they are. Three of them. Two were maybe six foot, the other one was maybe
five three or four. The little one just stuck a gun in my ribs. He just shot
someone, I thought.
Gardino: Yeah, I’m sure
he did. Did the guy say anything?
Hamlin: Just "open
the vault." I did.
Huey: Looks like they
knew what they were after. They didn’t touch any of the other stuff.
Hamlin: Just the bearer
bonds.
Huey: The little one,
you said he was five three or four. Could it have been a kid? You know, a
teenager.
Hamlin: I’m not sure,
uh, yeah, I suppose, yes.
Ray: Not a betting
man, are you, Benny? [exits]
[interrogation room B]
Ray: Lambert,
William. Age 13. Quite a little record here, Willie. Seven arrests. First at
age ten. Petty theft. Theft. More theft.
Willie: I have to
support my mother.
Ray: You don’t have
a mother, kid.
Public Defender (Caroline
Wilson): He also has no convictions so you shouldn’t even have that list.
Ray: We don’t need
it. We checked your fingerprints against the gun. The only ones that come up
are yours. You’re going down for this one, Willie.
Willie: I told you, I
found it somewhere.
Caroline Wilson: You don’t have
to tell them anything. Okay?
Fraser: Well that’s
true, but I’d suggest it’s in Willie’s best interest to talk to us. If you are
innocent, son, the police have no reason to incarcerate you.
Caroline Wilson: You’re not from
around here are you?
Willie: Huh. I’m
suppose to trust you?
Fraser: Well, I think
you know you can.
Willie: Look. All I
know about cops is, all they want to do is just put you away.
Fraser: All right. Ray,
I think we’ve done all we can here.
Ray: Yeah, the kid’s
born mean.
Willie: Hey-hey-hey,
wait a minute. You’re not going to offer me some kind of deal or something?
Fraser: No. All I can
give you is my word that I’ll do my best for you.
Caroline Wilson: Not good
enough.
Willie: She said it.
Fraser: I understand.
Ray?
Ray: Too bad, kid.
[corridor]
Ray: Good, let him
sweat. Punk’ll crack in twenty minutes.
Fraser: He’s scared,
but he’s a pretty tough kid. I don’t think he’ll respond to threats.
Huey: Nice job,
Vecchio.
Ray: Is that a
compliment, Jack, or do my ears deceive me?
Gardino: Oh don’t be so
hard on yourself, Ray. Sooner or later you have to solve one case. Did your
Mountie friend help you?
Fraser: Benton Fraser,
Deputy Liaison Officer.
Gardino: Jack Huey,
Louis Gardino, Actual detectives.
Ray: Or as we call
them, Huey and Louie.
Gardino: It’s Louis,
Vecchio, and I don’t like your mouth.
Ray: Touchy, Louie!
Gardino: You want to see
touchy?
Ray: Yeah, I do.
Huey: Easy fellas. If you’ll excuse us Detective Gardino and I have a
suspect to interrogate. Thank you. [takes
the file]
Ray: Hey Jack,
that’s my pinch. You talk to that kid without me, I’m taking this to the
Lieutenant.
Huey: Sure, Ray, if
you think your record will support that. Go ahead.
Ray: Are you
maligning my record, Jack?
Fraser: Ray, we’re all
on the same team. These men are highly skilled investigators. I’m sure if they
need our help, they’ll ask.
Gardino: Oh, absolutely.
Huey: Absolutely.
[Huey & Gardino go into
interrogation room B]
Ray: How could you
do that? How could you turn my arrest over to them?
Fraser: The lunchroom
is this way?
Ray: Do you know how
many times an offender falls right into your lap? How many times do you think
that happens, huh, Fraser? How many?!
[break room; Vecchio gets a
vending machine sandwich]
Ray: You know what
your problem is? You think if you’re nice to people, people are gonna be nice
to you. [spits out sandwich] Did you
make this, or scrape it off the street?
Vending Guy: Salmon, right? [hands Fraser a sandwich]
Fraser: Thank you,
Hugo.
Ray: You know, maybe
up in the Arctic Circle you cooperate with your cop buddies. I mean, who’s going to fight over ice, right?
Fraser: Well, actually
there was an incident once--
Ray: I don’t want to
hear it. The point is, down here you make your own cases or they turn you into
a bicycle cop. And how do you know his name?
Fraser: It’s written on
his shirt.
Ray: This is what’s
wrong with you! You don’t know what’s important and what’s not! The name of the
vending machine guy, this is not important. This is a detail you do not need to
record. You want to record a detail? Try this. That was my case!!
[Huey & Gardino exit the
interrogation room]
Huey: Okay. The kid
says he’ll only talk to the guy in the hat.
Fraser: Could you? [Gardino opens the door] Thank you kindly.
Ray: I’m with the
guy in the hat, fellas. [takes the file] You’re not.
[interrogation room B]
Willie: I told you, I
didn’t shoot nobody. I never even saw the gun before yesterday.
Fraser: Where did you
see it?
Willie: Someplace.
Ray: Like in your
pocket?
Caroline Wilson: Interview is
over.
Fraser: I’m sorry. May
I? Why don’t you tell us *how* you found it, Willie?
Willie: I was on my way
home from school. [Vecchio clears throat]
Okay, the track. And I see this lady
come out of this building on Michigan Avenue.
Ray: You got a
number on that building?
Willie: Oh yeah, right.
I wrote it down in my laptop. Well anyway, she goes down this alley, and
there’s no one around, and her bag is just hanging there, so I grabbed it and
took off. I get away, find the gun in the bag, end of story.
Ray: ‘Fraid not, Tolstoy. You see, you happened to steal a bag
which happened to have a gun in it, which happened to be used in commission of
a major robbery.
Willie: So I had a bad
day.
Ray: Tell me
something I don’t know.
Fraser: This woman. Can
you describe her?
Willie: Depends. Can
you get me out of here? Right-right I know, you’ll do your best.
[Lieutenant Welsh’s office]
Huey: No way. No way
is that kid going to walk!
Gardino: Lieutenant, we
got his prints on the gun, and it was in his possession.
Ray: The kid’s a
pickpocket. He could have gotten the gun anywhere. Your own eyewitness can’t
even place him at the scene, Louie.
Gardino: One of the
offenders matches his height and frame, Ray.
Ray: Oh yeah, you’re
right. Why try to find who did it when
you can blame the nearest twelve-year-old?
I know a toddler who you can arrest for assault.
Gardino: That’s enough.
You and me on the roof.
Welsh: Ho-ho-ho-o,
easy now. Detective Vecchio, I could have sworn I specifically assigned this case
to Detective Huey and Detective Gardino.
Gardino: That’s right
Lieutenant. Our case, our call.
Welsh: Shut up, Louie.
Gardino: It’s Louis,
sir.
Ray: Lieutenant, can
I help it if the kid’ll only talk to a Mountie?
Welsh: Ah, yes. The
Mountie. I thought they sent you back up to the Yukon.
Fraser: Well they did,
sir. And then they sent me back here again. I’m afraid I’m not all that
well-liked up there, sir.
Welsh: By up there you
mean...
Fraser: Pretty much all
of Canada, sir.
[Huey & Gardino chuckle]
Welsh: The wolf isn’t
involved in this, is it?
Ray: Only
peripherally, sir.
Fraser: Permission to
speak freely, sir?
Welsh: This I like.
‘Permission to speak freely.’ Go ahead, young man.
Fraser: Leftenant,
Willie Lambert is a petty thief. If he’d stolen a million dollars in bearer
bonds, he’d hardly be on the street the next morning stealing purses.
Welsh: Good reason.
Louie?
Gardino: Maybe some of
the bigger kids took it away from him. How do I know?
Fraser: He says he
found the gun in a briefcase he stole, and he can identify its owner.
Ray: We’ve got him
out there right now, sir, putting together a composite.
Huey: Lieutenant, you
let that kid walk out of here, you’ll never see him again.
Welsh: Are you willing
to take responsibility for him?
Ray: Personally? You
see, that’s a problem, sir, in that, you know, I date a lot, and--
Welsh: Yeah. Huey and
Louie get him.
Gardino: Good call,
Lieutenant.
Fraser: I’ll take
responsibility, sir.
Welsh: You want him.
Ray: It’s a Mountie
thing, sir. Two more points and he gets to go camping.
Welsh: All right. You
got him.
Huey: Wait a minute,
Lieutenant. You gotta--
Gardino: Come on--
Welsh: Ah-ah.
Fraser: Thank you, sir.
Welsh: Oh, one more
thing. If you lose him, Vecchio loses his shield.
Fraser: It’s perfectly
reasonable, sir.
[Elaine’s desk; composite
sketch on the monitor]
Ray: Do you know who
this is? This is Heather Locklear. This kid is yanking our chain.
Willie: Hey-hey, wait a
minute. I saw her for two seconds. You
try to draw one of these things.
Elaine: I’ll run it
through VI-CAP, see if I can find a match.
Fraser: Thanks, Elaine.
Elaine: Want me to call
you at home?
Ray: My case,
Elaine, me, Detective Vecchio, police officer. You talk directly to me, okay?
Elaine: But I should
probably have the number just in case.
Fraser: Oh, uh, [clears throat] I’m afraid I don’t
have--
Ray: He uses smoke
signals. We’ll call in. Willie? Come on, mush.
[they walk through bullpen]
Ray: What, they
don’t have women in the Yukon?
Fraser: Certainly. It’s
just they’re not quite so, uh ...
Female Cop: Like your dog.
Fraser: He’s white.
Ray: Oh, very
smooth.
Female Cop: Call me.
Ray: Get out. [to Willie]
And you? Get out. ‘Call me’? You throw out a lame line like that and
she says, ‘Call me’?!
[outside the station; as
soon as Willie clears the doors he takes off running]
Ray: Oh, yeah this
is going to be fun. [chases] Stop
that kid!
[Willie runs to bus &
gets on; so does Dief… the bus pulls away]
Ray: We lost the
little creep! We lost him!
Fraser: He’ll be back.
[bus screeches to a halt in
the middle of the street, and Dief & Willie get off]
Willie: Can I just say
I really appreciate the trust you placed in me?
Ray: Yeah, right.
Willie: My sister was
on that bus. I just wanted to tell her that I wouldn’t be in school for a
while.
Ray: You got one
more chance kid. One.
Willie: Okay-okay. You
want evidence, I’ll show you lots of evidence. Jeez.
[vacant lot]
Ray: [knocks over a trash barrel] So where is it?!
Willie: It should be
here. I dropped it around here somewhere.
Fraser: Nothing fits
the description, Willie.
Willie: Man, maybe it
was stolen or something.
Ray: Oh, yeah,
right, again?!
Willie: Maybe you
noticed this isn’t the best neighborhood, cop.
Ray: This kid is
making me very angry.
[Dief noses around
overturned barrel]
Fraser: What have you
got?
[Dief takes off after a
scent]
Ray: Why does this
have to be my life? Mounties, dogs.
Fraser: Come on, Ray.
Ray: We’re coming,
we’re coming. You hook up the sled.
Lady (Celeste): [muttering, petting Dief, holding the
leather bag] Say ah. Yeah, yeah. Is
your dog?
Fraser: Yes, ma’am.
Celeste: Oh, nice dog.
Good listener. Heh heh heh.
Fraser: Actually he’s
deaf.
Celeste: [loudly] Oh, nice doggie.
Ray: Okay-okay, so
what have we got?
Willie: There it is.
Fraser: Uh, Ray, this
is uh--
Celeste: Celeste.
Ray: Enough with the
names. Police. Give me the bag. [grabs
for it]
Celeste: Oh come on!
Ray: Gimme the bag!
Lady: Help!
Fraser: Ray-Ray-Ray.
Please. Excuse me, ma’am. That briefcase is needed in a criminal investigation,
and we’d be most appreciative of your cooperation.
Celeste: Huh. Fifty
bucks.
Fraser: Ray?
Ray: I’m not giving
her fifty bucks!
Fraser: Well, I’m
afraid all I can give you is five.
Celeste: Why this money
is blue?
Fraser: It’s Canadian.
Celeste: I’m not.
Ray: All right. All
right. Give me the bag.
[she grabs the bill, he
grabs the bag]
Fraser: Thank you,
ma’am.
[opens the bag, pulls out
manila envelope…to find only blank papers]
Ray: Don’t look like
bonds to me.
Willie: What?
[alley; watching Vecchio,
Fraser, and Willie]
Morgan: [on cell phone] I found the kid…No, I
don’t think you want me to do that right now…He’s with some cops, and they
found your phony bonds…Hey, quit whining, I’m the one he can identify! I said
I’d take care of him and I will. Just you make sure my share doesn’t disappear
or I’ll take care of you. Understood?
[Willie’s apartment; Vecchio
searches the place]
Ray: I’m warning
you, Willie, I’m not taking any more from you. If I find a bond in here kid,
you’re going away for this.
Willie: I didn’t take
no stupid bonds! I don’t even know what a bond is.
Fraser: There wasn’t
anything else inside the bag? Certificates with seals on them?
Willie: On my sister’s
life. And I do have a sister.
Ray: Oh yeah, so
where is she?
Willie: Around.
Fraser: [sniffs rotten milk] Is she the one who does the shopping?
Willie: She’s been
busy, okay? So you two go home, get some rest, and we’ll start fresh in the
morning, okay?
Fraser: He can’t stay
here.
Ray: Well he’s not
staying at my place.
Fraser: Can you make a
bed?
Willie: You mean out of
twigs?
[Fraser’s apartment; Willie
bounces quarter on freshly-made bed]
Willie: Satisfied?
Fraser: Couldn’t have
done better myself.
Willie: So, I took out
the trash, washed the walls, and made the bed eight thousand times. What’s
next, maneuvers?
Fraser: Here. [gives money]
Willie: For what?
Fraser: You earned it.
Willie: Yeah?
Fraser: Yeah. [unrolls bedroll on the other side of the
room] Goodnight, Diefenbaker.
[Dief grumbles from his
place underneath the table]
Willie: Fraser?
Fraser: Mm-hmm?
Willie: You know crack
dealers are even afraid to come into this neighborhood?
Fraser: Goodnight,
Willie.
Willie: Fraser?
Fraser: Uh-huh?
Willie: Why is this
money pink?
Fraser: Goodnight,
Willie.
Willie: Goodnight.
[Riv]
Elaine: [voice]
Her name’s Carol Morgan, alias Morgan Thomas, alias--
Ray: Whoa-whoa-whoa,
Elaine. Is that a definite make?
Elaine: [voice] According to the FBI. Is Fraser
with you?
Ray: Fraser doesn’t
work there, Elaine, I do. Now about the suspect?
Elaine: [voice] Armed robbery, three arrests,
one conviction, all in Florida.
Ray: Long way to
come to steal blank paper.
Fraser: Indeed.
Elaine: [voice] Fraser, is that you?
[One LaSalle Street
Building]
Fraser: You’d better
stay here, son.
Ray: You can’t leave
him in the car.
Fraser: He’ll be fine.
Willie: Absolutely.
Fraser: Dief. Dief.
Stay.
Willie: Damn.
[Vecchio goes through the
revolving door; Fraser stands holding other door open]
Fraser: After you, sir.
After you.
Ray: Do all
Canadians grow up longing to be doormen, because this does explain the uniform.
Fraser: Why five
o’clock? [still holding the door as
people go in & out]
Ray: Sorry?
Fraser: Why pick the
busiest time of the day to stage a robbery?
Ray: So you can
disappear into the crowd.
Fraser: Still, you’d
think with all the potential witnesses, of the difficulty of making a getaway.
I mean--
Ray: Can we talk
about this inside?
Fraser: Oh, certainly.
[Vecchio holds door for
Fraser, then steps aside for another person]
Ray: Oh, why not?
After you. Oh, please, after you. Anybody else?
[Lloyd & Little
Brokerage; Hamlin’s office; Hamlin holds the manila envelope]
Ray: Do you
recognize this, Mr. Hamlin?
Hamlin: This could be
it, but it’s hard to say. Every financial firm in this city uses these.
[Fraser enters the open
vault, ducking under the crime scene tape]
Ray: Could you have
made a mistake, handed the thief the wrong portfolio?
Hamlin: Huh, don’t I
wish. But the auditors have combed this place from top to bottom. If the bonds
were still here, they’d have found them. Is he…?
[Fraser licks his finger
& points it up]
Ray: Observing. He’s
very thorough.
Hamlin: So I see.
[Riv]
Willie: Now, I’m just
going to go for a little walk. [Dief
barks & growls] Okay-okay. Jeez.
[Lloyd & Little
Brokerage]
Hamlin: Well, perhaps
the thief handed the bonds off to an accomplice. Or maybe the bag you found
wasn’t even hers.
Fraser: It’s a
possibility. Thanks for your help.
Hamlin: Anything I can
do.
[ushers them out of the
office]
Ray: He is in on it.
Fraser: Yes.
Ray: Don’t ask me
how I know, but I know... How do you know?
Fraser: Same way you
do.
Ray: I guessed.
Fraser: Oh.
Ray: What do you
mean, Oh? How do you know? You stick a wet finger in the air and you figured
out he was a thief?
Fraser: No-no. From,
that all I can tell is they have a malfunction in the ventilating system. [to repairman] Pardon me, you have a broken cooling vent
in suite B. It’s of no importance, Ray.
Ray: [laughs]
So?
Fraser: He told us. He
referred to the thief as ‘her.’
Ray: And before he
said they were all men, as did the other witnesses. So the only way he could know is if he was in
on it.
Fraser: Exactly.
Ray: Well, exactly.
[Riv]
Willie: See? We could
take a ride through the park. I mean, it’s a beautiful day. [Dief barks]
Oh, man you’re a real pain, you know that?
Robber: Hey. [tries to stick his hand in the open window,
Willie rolls it up on him] Come on.
Come on. Come on, open the door!
[Robber smashes the window
& tries to get in, while Willie gets into the front seat; he sees Morgan
watching…]
[elevator]
Ray: So the robbery
had to be a cover. The thieves never had the bonds. Hamlin stole ‘em.
Fraser: My question is:
How did Hamlin get the bonds out of the office, and where are they? Per the
accountant, the bonds were still in the vault at 4:08 p.m.
Ray: And we know
this because?
Fraser: Because he
signed the log in the vault, and Hamlin never left the office all day.
Ray: So the
accountant took them.
Fraser: No. Everyone is
checked by security upon leaving.
Ray: Huh. So the
question is: How did Hamlin get the bonds out, and where are they?
Fraser: Uh-huh.
[Riv]
[Robber smashes another
window, as Dief barks rabidly]
Robber: Come on, come
on. Get the stupid dog!. Come on, shoot the dog, shoot the dog.
[Willie hotwires the car,
and it lurches as one guy shoots the car]
Fraser: Ray!
[the Riv screeches backwards fast; Robbers get into their car and follow; Vecchio runs after the robbers; Fraser runs the other way]
Ray: Fraser?!
Fraser: Be right there.
Ray: Hey!
[car chase; Vecchio huffing
& puffing after them when Fraser pulls beside him driving horse &
buggy. Music: ‘It’s All Over’ by The Headstones.]
Fraser: Hop up.
Ray: What the--? [he gets on] Go-go-go! Good to see you,
Benny.
Fraser: Good to see
you, Ray. Hyah!
[through the alleys, very
fast; Vecchio is having a good time]
Ray: Woo-hoo-hoo!
Fraser: Hyah!
[now onto city streets]
Fraser: Hyah! Hyah!
Ray: Through the
park.
Fraser: You got it,
Ray. Hyah!
[hansom cab almost runs down
rollerbladers]
Ray: Police! Police!
Get out of the way. Get out of the way.
Fraser: Sorry. Hyah!
[through the park]
Ray: Coming through,
coming through! Look out, look out!
Fraser: Hyah!
[through a picnic]
Fraser: Sorry!
Ray: Sorry, sorry.
Fraser: Hyah!
[car]
Robber: Go-go!
[hansom cab; Fraser tips hat
at stunned pedestrians]
Fraser: Excuse me. Hyah!
Ray: Whoa!
Fraser: Hyah!
Ray: Whoa!
Fraser: Hyah!
Ray: Whoa!
Fraser: Hyah!
[Willie turns a corner & stalls the car; Fraser pulls in front of the Riv; Morgan is forced to turn; before Vecchio can aim his gun, robbers have sped away…and Willie has escaped]
Ray: Damn!
[27th precinct;
Welsh’s office]
Ray: So he yanks on
the reins, the horses rear up, the car swerves, it takes off. It really was amazing, sir.
Welsh: Sounds it. And
how ‘bout our witness?
Ray: Oh, uh, yes, he
uh, what he did was, he--
Fraser: He ran away.
Ray: More or less,
yes.
Welsh: Mmm, what a
shame.
Ray: No one is more
chagrinned then myself, sir.
[enter Huey & Gardino]
Huey: We got there
too late. Hamlin is gone.
Welsh: One
disappointment after another. Perhaps if
you had thought to call in before you went cantering through the park. But these judgement calls are so difficult to
make.
Ray: Ah yes, that’s
true, sir. You really had to be there.
Welsh: Would five
o’clock be enough time to clear out your desk? I mean I don’t want to rush you
but, uh, we could use that space for actual police work.
Ray: Five o’clock
would be--
Fraser: Rush hour.
Ray: Uh, he’s just
now picking these things up, sir.
Fraser: It has nothing
to do with rush hour.
Ray: No, it just
gives me enough time to pack.
Fraser: Permission to
leave, sir.
Welsh: Oh, yes. [Fraser exits]
Ray: I better look
after him, sir. [exits]
[interrogation room;
watching the brokerage surveillance tape]
Fraser: Hamlin couldn’t
have taken the bonds out himself, and he couldn’t risk the bonds being missed.
So they had to remain in the vault until just before the robbery.
Ray: But if he was
in on it, why didn’t he let the robbers take the bonds?
Fraser: You know, Ray,
when I was a young man, my father told me one thing to always remember about
thieves… Well, actually he told me two things, but I’ve forgotten the other
one. Anyway, the important one is that, despite the adage, you will rarely find
honor among thieves.
Ray: You can’t
remember the other one?
Fraser: It was
something about tying a wallet to your underwear… I was very young at the time.
Anyway, the point is, if they took the money during the robbery, then Hamlin
would have to trust them to give him his share.
Ray: And they don’t
look like trustworthy types.
Fraser: Indeed, so he
had to get the money out just before the robbery, but do it without drawing
attention to himself. It would have to be a normal occurrence. Something that
happened everyday just before five o’clock.
Ray: The courier!
That is so stupid!
Fraser: It’s simple.
[Riv]
Ray: So he sent them
to himself.
Fraser: No, too easy to
trace.
Ray: To the woman.
Fraser: Doesn’t trust
her.
Ray: To who then?
Fraser: Maybe no one. A
fake name, a fake address, no way to trace it.
Ray: Which means the
package would end up back at--
Fraser: The depot.
Ray: Exactly.
Fraser: Which means--
Ray: I’m going--
Fraser: --the wrong
way.
Ray: Hang on.
[Vecchio does a squealing
180° turn]
Driver: Hey! Watch it,
bozo!
[packaging office, lobby;
Hamlin arrives and gets in line, waiting impatiently]
[Vecchio tears through
traffic, siren wailing]
[packaging office, lobby;
Morgan appears behind Hamlin]
Morgan: My cut,
remember? [pokes him with her gun, as the
other two robbers appear behind her] Split that up right here.
[Vecchio tears through an
intersection]
Driver: Hey, watch it,
bonehead!
[packaging office, lobby]
Clerk: It’s your
package.
Customer: This isn’t
butcher’s paper. My sister always uses butcher’s paper.
Clerk: It’s your
package.
Customer: Are you sure
this is the right package? I don’t think it’s my package.
Morgan: Take the
package, lady. [she does, and exits]
Clerk: How can I help
you?
[Vecchio tears through
alley]
[packaging office, lobby]
Clerk: Sign, please.
[she does & gets the package; Hamlin pushes her with a grunt, knocking her into the other robbers, and climbs over the counter; the robbers follow; Vecchio, Fraser, & Dief burst in]
Ray: Which way?
Which way?
Morgan: Find him!
[Vecchio hops over the
counter; Fraser pauses…]
Fraser: Uh, I’m here on
an unofficial capacity. Do you mind if I--?
Clerk: Not at all.
Fraser: Thank you.
[…and over the counter he
goes, followed by Dief]
[packaging office, back
room]
[Morgan chases Hamlin…Fraser
chases robber, tackling him into a stack of boxes…Morgan overtakes Hamlin, and
grabs the bonds; she runs up a stepladder, and knocks boxes onto him]
[Fraser ties up tackled
robber with a rope]
Fraser: Watch this guy,
Dief. Stay.
[other robber tackles Vecchio onto a conveyor; Fraser charges up & pulls the robber off, but Vecchio’s momentum caries him onto a cart, which carries him straight into Hamlin, who falls onto the cart, too]
[Morgan runs through the
shelving; she trips over the packages, and the bonds go fluttering to the
floor; Vecchio finds them, kneels down to pick one up…he hears a gun cock…]
Morgan: Lose it!
[Vecchio sets down his gun
carefully; she pulls him up, gun to his neck, and Fraser rounds the corner]
Morgan: Don’t move, boy
scout. Back right off.
Fraser: You all right,
Ray?
Ray: I’m well, Fraser.
And you?
Morgan: Dead in your
tracks right there! Take out the gun and drop it on the floor.
Ray: Don’t do it,
Fraser. Take the shot.
Fraser: I’m afraid I’m
not carrying a gun.
Morgan: Drop the gun.
Fraser: I honestly
don’t have one.
Ray: Sharpshooter
first class, can take the head off a pin.
Fraser: He’s right
about that.
Ray: Drop it or he
takes you out.
Fraser: I would if I
had a gun, Ray.
Morgan: Show me the
gun!!
Fraser: Well, we’d have
to go back to my office. I do have this knife.
Ray: Oh, that’s
good, Benny. Threaten her with your camping utensils.
Fraser: Can’t afford to
bluff, Ray. She’s already shot one person.
Morgan: Drop it on the
floor, drop the belt, too.
Fraser: Are you sure
you’ve thought this through, ma’am?
Morgan: Move over here
slow. And pick up the bonds.
Fraser: I don’t think
you want me to do that.
Morgan: Pick them up!
Fraser: All right. [drops his belt] But it’s a mistake. [kneels] You see, a bond is
more than just a bankable note. It’s an instrument of trust between two people,
indicating a promise that must be honored. Much like the promise I made to
uphold the law. So you see the problem is, now that I have the bonds in my
hands, I’m honor bound not to give
them to you.
Ray: Give her the
bonds, Fraser.
Fraser: I can’t do
that, Ray.
Morgan: You got three
seconds and I shoot him! One.
Fraser: I’m sorry, Ray.
Ray: What do you
mean sorry?
Morgan: Two!
Ray: Give her the
damn bonds!
Fraser: Can’t do it.
I’m walking out of here with them.
Morgan: That’s it. He’s
dead.
Fraser: Sorry to hear
that. [walks away]
Ray: Fraser!
Morgan: Three!
[shoots after Fraser; she
& Vecchio struggle; Vecchio pushes her to the ground; Fraser jumps down
from a top shelf; she shoots…Fraser falls to the floor, and Vecchio wrestles
her & cuffs her behind her back…he pulls boxes off of Fraser]
Fraser: She shot my
hat, Ray.
Ray: She shot you in
the hat?
Fraser: I can feel air
coming in through the hole.
Ray: She shot you in
the hat, all right.
Fraser: How does it
look?
Ray: Doesn’t look
good.
Fraser: We’ll have to
go home and get my other one.
Ray: We can do that,
Fraser.
Fraser: Thanks, Ray.
[later; cops taking the
handcuffed criminals away]
Ray: All I’m saying
is, is in the future it’s a good idea not to suggest someone shoot me.
Fraser: Well, I didn’t
want to, Ray, but it was necessary in order to enrage her.
Ray: You wanted to
enrage the person that had a gun to my neck?
That was your strategy?
Fraser: I knew that if
I kept at it, eventually I’d draw her fire, and you’d get your shot. And I knew
you’d trust me.
Ray: But I didn’t.
Fraser: Yes, you did.
Ray: No, I didn’t.
Fraser: Yes, you did.
Ray: No. I didn’t.
Fraser: Well, of course
you did. Maybe you just weren’t fully aware of it.
Ray: I was very
aware of my feelings toward you, Fraser.
Fraser: Well, if you
didn’t know what I was planning, then why’d you play along?
Ray: I wasn’t
playing along. I was begging for my life!
Fraser: Oh! Oh, well,
uh. My mistake.
Ray: Mistake? You
could’ve gotten me killed.
Fraser: Oh no, I’d
never allow that. You’re my friend. You’re my best friend I’d have to say.
Ray: I am? Hey,
exactly how many best friends have you had?
[27th precinct]
Ray: Elaine, you
should have seen me. So I land on the conveyor belt, and this guy he jumps on
my back, and then suddenly--
Elaine: Fraser saves
you.
Ray: No, no, I flip
the guy off. But then he grabs a crowbar, right? And he swings it at my head--
Elaine: Fraser grabs
it.
Ray: No, I duck. And
then out of nowhere--
Elaine: Fraser appears.
Ray: Did you know
that he pins his wallet to his underwear?
Elaine: Cool.
Fraser: Well, actually,
I was very young and the underwear was rather long and I… Ray?
Elaine: Okay.
[Welsh is sitting at
Vecchio’s desk]
Ray: Lieutenant, you
see I was gonna clean that out but --Willie!
[he & Welsh are playing
cards]
Welsh: He said you
told him that if he gets lost he should come here.
Ray: Anybody can get
lost, right, Lieutenant?
Welsh: Yeah. You win,
kid. [gets up] Oh, Vecchio. Good
work. [exits]
Ray: He came back!
Willie: If I didn’t you
would’ve got in trouble, right?
Ray: Right.
Willie: I figure that’s
worth a twenty.
Ray: [laughs]
No question about it. [reaches
into wallet & hands him a bill]
[street outside Fraser’s
apartment building]
Fraser: All right, you
come over, feed and walk him twice a day, and I’ll take him out again when I
get home at night. Deal?
Willie: Deal.
Fraser: It’s
twenty-five dollars a week as long as you stay in school. [hands him cash]
Willie: Wait a minute,
that’s uh--
Fraser: I know, I know,
I’m sorry. Ray, would you mind?
Ray: Here, take the
wallet. Just give me an allowance. [throws
it at him]
[Fraser digs out a bill
& hands it to Willie]
Fraser: There you go.
Willie: Come on, Dief.
Come. [enters Fraser’s building]
Ray: You can’t keep
doing this you know.
Fraser: What’s that?
Ray: Romping through
the streets of Chicago rescuing widows and orphans as you may.
Fraser: It’s just one
kid, Ray.
Ray: You’re not in a
small town anymore. You can’t rescue everyone you meet.
Fraser: No, I
understand.
Street Person: Hey, Fraser!
Thanks for the boots!
Fraser: Glad they fit, Gerome.
End