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Part 37

 

 

 

Xander stared down at the phone in his hand, wondering if this time he’d get an answer.  He was upset and angry that he hadn’t spoken to Spike in days, livid that when he’d tried the land line Angel had brushed him off without even an assurance that Spike would be told he’d called.

All the fears and doubts Xander had over Spike spending time with Angel had resurfaced with a vengeance and he needed to get his vampire home now, before…  Before what?  Xander felt a shiver, hot, cold, wondered if he was coming down with something.  No, simply exhausted by lack of sleep and an inner rage that nothing could pacify.  He really should eat something.  And being miserably lonely didn’t help.

He dialled the number of Spike’s cell phone, heart pounding in anticipation as, at last, a connection was made and he heard a ring tone.  Please answer, please answer, please be there for me, Spike, please…

“Xander?”

“Spike,” Xander’s voice was weak with relief.

“Are you all right?”

The irritation flared back.

“No, I’m not all right.  Three weeks, Spike, what the fuck are you playing at?”

“I’m not playing at anything.  We’ve needed to research…”

“Why has the phone been off?”

“There are places we’ve been where it won’t work and…”

“You couldn’t be bothered to call me when it was working?”

“It’s not always possible,” Spike explained cagily.

“Are you coming home?”

“We’re still…”

“Come home,” Xander instructed coldly and crisply.

“I’m not sure if this is the best time to leave.”

“I want you here.”

“I know that.”

“Do you?  And how about you?  What do you want?”

“You.”

“So come home.  Or do you want me to come and get you?  Because I will.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Is this about Angel?”

“Well…”  Spike paused awkwardly, knowing his grand-sire had heard Xander say his name, even from across the room.  The two vampires exchanged a look that spoke volumes.  “Not about Angel, no.”  There was a long stretch of tense silence as Xander waited.  Spike could see him in his mind, knew the grim expression, the anger would be flashing in his eyes, his body tight with suppressed rage.  Press the Angel button and Xander was ready to explode.  “I’m coming home.  I’ll be there before dawn.”

Spike registered the shaky breath before Xander spoke.

“Good.  Drive carefully.”

“I will.”  Spike turned his back on Angel, the pretence of privacy.  “Xander, I—”

“Yes?”

“I’ve missed you.  I’ll see you soon.”

Spike ended the call before Xander could say another word and waited a long time for Angel to break the silence.

“He’s…not happy?”

“Furious.”

“Haven’t you…?”  Angel despaired of his grand-childe as he answered his own question.  “You haven’t kept him up-to-date.”

“I didn’t know what to say.”

“This will have made things worse.”

“Doesn’t matter.  I’ll deal: got to now, haven’t I?”

Spike heard Angel walk from the room and heaved a contented sigh.  Home.  No choice, no argument.  He’d taken a chance, keeping the phone off to antagonise Xander into demanding his return, but it seemed to have paid off: Angel could pull the sire stuff with him, but wasn’t likely to ask him to defy his claimant.  Xander.  A slow smile crept over his face.

The nervous energy that had kept Xander up and pacing ebbed away and he all but collapsed onto the sofa, tossing the phone away and feeling the knowledge that Spike was on his way back tingling through his body like a drug.  Okay, he had hours to wait but that was bearable.  Liveable.  He was hungry, he was improbably hard, he was managing to ignore whatever the sub-text of that conversation was: the Angel element.  Hours.  Food, shower, sleep.  Not too difficult now that Spike was finally coming home.

Xander was awake, had soon realised he wouldn’t sleep until he heard Spike come in.  Who was he kidding?  He certainly wouldn’t sleep then.  In the darkness his mind tormented him endlessly, creating images of Angel kissing Spike, touching him, taking him.  And Spike loving every moment, exalting in the rightness of it: sire and childe, sire and childe because Drusilla could be taken out of the equation without a moment’s consideration.

I’ll have him back.  I’ll claim him.  Whatever it takes, however much blood.  Because he’s mine.  Always mine.

Xander jumped at the distant sound of a key in the lock, heard the front door carefully opened and shut.  He mentally paced Spike crossing to the alarm and keying in the code, keeping them safe.  The light in the upper hallway came on and seconds later, Spike silently entered the bedroom, crossing to his side of the bed and removing his clothes.  He lifted the covers before being frozen by Xander’s voice.

“Go and shower.”

Beat.  Spike nodded and left the room again, choosing to use the bathroom along the hall as opposed to the master bath.  Xander threw back the covers and clambered over the bed, grabbing up the discarded clothing, bringing Spike’s shirt to his face and inhaling.  It smelt of fabric conditioner, leather from the duster, and a hint of new car from the Jag.  Xander tossed it back onto the floor, feeling a dozen kinds of fool, and returned to his rapidly cooling spot, tugging the covers over himself and settling down to a fresh bout of mindless jealousy.

Spike stood under the shower, letting the water teem onto the crown of his head, hoping that the pressure would knock some sense into him.  He’d screwed up, knew already that he’d overestimated his ability to win Xander over after playing hard to get for the past week.  He couldn’t miss the sheer force of the negative emotions pouring from his partner and the fact that he’d obviously hurt Xander badly was starting to gnaw away at him.  All the excitement he’d felt at returning home had been crushed by the tone of Xander’s voice, and the instruction told him more about his love’s state of mind than any deep and meaningful discussion ever would.  Turning off the water, he towelled himself dry, feeling his skin lose the heat from the shower as he hid in the bathroom, wracking his brain for the words to make everything right.

A none-the-wiser Spike eventually found the courage to return to the bedroom, sliding into the bed with a shiver.  No heat.  Xander hadn’t switched the electric blanket on for him.  That said…what?  Spike won’t turn up, or Spike can stay cold for all I care?  Either was hurtful.  Spike kept his distance from the human despite wanting to hold him.  Wanting to be held and made warm.  He listened to Xander’s very awake breathing, feeling his pain at Xander’s unhappiness grow with every breath.

“Xander.  I know you’re still awake.”

“Go to sleep.”

“I have to tell you…”

Xander twisted to face him.

“No.  You shut the fuck up and go to sleep.”

Another painful pause.

“Xander?”

“You don’t get it, do you?  I don’t want to hear it, I have to pretend you’re mine.”

“I am yours.  Only yours.”

“What about Angel?”

“What about…?  No, Xander, it’s not what you think.”

“I know he wanted William.  If you found a way to give him William it’s the one thing I will never, never be able to forgive you for.”

“I wouldn’t risk William.”

“Just you then?  You’ve been fucking Angel.”

“No.”

“Then he’s been fucking you.”

“Xander, no!”

Spike was on his knees beside Xander, reaching for him.  Xander grabbed his wrists before the cold hands could touch his skin.

“I won’t share you.  I especially won’t share you with that arrogant piece of shit.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Too fucking right,” he ground out through clenched teeth.  “Too fucking right.”

Xander used his grip on Spike’s wrists to throw him onto his back, unsurprised by the vampire’s acquiescence or the exultant gleam in his eyes.  He lay staring at his human while Xander reached out and grabbed the tube of lubricant that was waiting on the cabinet because Xander had known it would come to this; he was already rock-hard and determined to re-establish his claim.  Roughly pushing Spike’s legs apart he knelt between them, sitting back on his heels as he swiped a deliberately inadequate film of the jelly over his erection.  Then the tube was tossed away and Xander grabbed Spike by the hips and dragged him onto his lap.  The residue of lubricant on Xander’s hand was all the preparation Spike was given as he was fingered open and Xander pressed into him.  The muffled cry from the vampire fired Xander; grasping Spike’s hips once more he rose to his knees and thrust into the cool channel, knowing he was tearing the skin, feeling abused muscles spasm around him.  His own common sense tried to tell him that Spike was virginally tight, proving that there was no way he could have been penetrated recently, but his jealousy proved itself to be a far stronger beast.  He stopped moving, breathing heavily, staring at Spike’s already hard cock and wondering who’d touched it last.

“Start whoring around with that cunt and I will go insane.”

“No, Xander.”  The voice was an intense whisper.  “No, Xander.  Never.”

Pulling back, brutally ramming home.  A jolt ran through Spike’s body and he bit back a yelp.

“Feel this?”  Nod.  “Feel me?”  Nod.  “I belong here.  No-one else.”  Shake.  Withdrawal and another powerful thrust.  Easier though.  Slicker.  Xander shook that from his mind.  “Who do you belong to?” he demanded, grinding and forcing himself deeper, exacerbating the rips in the battered flesh.

“Xander,” came the obedient reply.  “I belong to Xander, only Xander.  Love you.”

Tender words, absurdly inflammatory; Xander fell onto Spike and began to pound into him, needing to make this violent and bloody and sear it onto the vampire’s brain.

“I claim you,” he gasped to his lover.  “I claim you with blood and come and every last drop of emotion in my heart and soul.  I claim you and you are mine and I will dust that mother-fucker of a sire of yours if he comes sniffing around.”

“Yours.”  Still a whisper.  Hoarse, tearful.  Tearful?

Xander lost his rhythm, jerked to stillness.  He looked at Spike, saw the tears, knew there was blood on his thighs, felt his heart jump painfully.

“Oh…fuck.  What am I doing?”  He smothered Spike’s face in kisses, lips carrying away the tears.  “What am I doing?  Spike.  I’m sorry, Spike.  I’m sorry, I’m sorry.  I don’t know…  I have no excuse.”

“You love me.”

“I do.  I do love you.”

“You love me enough for this.  Perfect.  It’s perfect.”

In a rare moment of flawless clarity Xander understood.  About vampires and strength and power and blood and violence.  He had known.  In a fit of madness and jealousy he had instinctively known.  With a moment’s thought he understood.

“You’re mine.  And I will take what’s mine.”

Yes.  I want that.  Want you.”  Spike began to rock his hips, clenching his inner muscles around Xander and making the human shudder.  The vampire’s hands roved over his skin for the first time since this started.  “I love your body, Xander.  Love the way it looks, it feels, it smells.  The flavour of you…  Love it that you’re so strong, even when it scares me.  I love it when you’re in me.  Love your cock, how hard you get when you want me.  Love feeling like you’re going to split me in two.  Love the heat when you come inside me.  Love…  You.  Only you.  Only you.”  Xander kissed him hard, tasting and claiming.  Spike broke away.  “Finish what you started, Xander.  Take what’s yours.  Make me bleed for you.”

Xander drew back until only the head of his cock was inside Spike’s body, seeing the panic in the vampire’s eyes when he assumed his lover was abandoning him, then he drove forward roughly, revelling in the groan of deep satisfaction that he forced from Spike’s throat.  Xander repeated the action with the same result.

“Nice, huh?”

“More, Xander, more, Xander, more.”

“Only me?”

“Fucking hell, yes, only you.  More, Xander, more—”

Spike’s words were whipped away as Xander ground into him.

“Hold onto the headboard.  Let me look at you.”  Arms flying above his head, hands wrapping around the thick metal bars, Spike obeyed without question, searching Xander’s face for approval.  Xander held himself at arm’s length, staring down at the pale, sculptured body beneath him, hips automatically falling into a vigorous rhythm that reflected his lust at the sight.  “So fucking sexy,” he gasped as he studied Spike inch by inch.  “Beautiful cock.  Wanna taste that soon as I’ve finished here.”

“Oh, fuck.”  Spike thrust up hard against him.

“That about me sucking your dick?  Or filling you up?”  The sharp intake of breath on the final words was a giveaway.  Xander slowed his pace, lowering himself onto Spike and lapping at his mark until the vampire was squirming beneath him.  “You want me to come in you, is that it?  Part of the claim.”  Frantic nod.  “That’s good.  I want to claim you.  Remind you that you’re mine.”

“Yours.”

“Gonna keep filling you up until you stink of me, until nothing and no-one will dare lay a finger on you.”

“Do it, do it, do it doit doitdoitdoit…”

“Want me to jerk off all over you?  Again and again until you’re wearing a skin of my come?”

Spike moaned and bucked, throwing his head back, offering his neck; Xander started to fuck hard, harder, ignoring the position of the existing mark and burying his teeth in the vampire’s ultra-sensitive throat.  Spike almost threw Xander off as his body jerked up, impaling itself viciously on Xander’s cock as streams of milky semen spattered their bodies.

Holding himself in check with little more than belligerence, Xander kept going, biting down Spike’s neck and onto his shoulders, leaving a trail of bloody indentations in a scarlet X across the white flesh of his chest.  Spike glanced down at the brand and a breathy, horny, indescribably sexual noise broke away from him; his hand clenched into Xander’s hair, guiding his mouth.

“I’m…please…” Spike panted.  “Xan…mark…”

Sliding an arm under Spike’s shoulders Xander lifted the vampire toward him, attacking the claimant mark and breaking through the scarred skin, actively sucking blood from it for the first time.  As Spike howled in delight, Xander swallowed, body transforming into one giant nerve ending; they writhed and rutted furiously, coming together with mind-numbing force.

 

Xander was dizzily aware of Spike’s hands roaming over his back and the string of soft words that his brain couldn’t get a grasp on.  Besides, the shouting of his body was far louder.  Still hard, still inside his vampire.  How much blood did I drink?  Is it safe?  Do I care?  So fucking horny.  Pushing himself onto his elbows he met Spike’s gaze speechlessly for several minutes before leaning down and kissing him, enthusiastically exploring with his tongue as if this were new territory, met in kind as hands cupped the back of his head and kept him in place.  A jolt ran through Spike as Xander moved in him, reminding Xander how sore the vampire had to be after being…  Raped.  You raped your boyfriend, you’re scum, absolute scum.  Xander shook off the hands, whooping in a harsh breath.  What have I done, what have I done?

“Spike?”

“Love?” Spike frowned, alarmed by the moisture welling in the troubled brown eyes.

“Did I…did I…rape you?”  His voice dropped away to nothing.

“No, Xander, you didn’t.  You wouldn’t.”

“But…”

“But nothing.  You know what is and isn’t acceptable.  Anyway, you think I couldn’t have stopped you if I’d wanted to?”

“I don’t know.”

“Three words, Xander.  Three words and I feel your heart ache.  Three words and it’s not me who’s defenceless.”  Xander waited until the vampire whispered.  “Don’t hurt me.”  Xander felt the predicted response and nodded gratefully.  “You’re a good man, Xander.”

“Claimant’s rights wouldn’t force you to just…?”

“You mean, being the shy, retiring type I’d shut up and let you get on with it?  Believe me, I’d let you know if I wasn’t happy.  But I am.  All the moaning and begging and particularly the coming should have been a clue.”

“You’re happy?  With me?  I’m enough?”

“Enough?  You’re…everything.”

Spike smiled and pulled Xander into another kiss, petulantly whining as the human carefully eased out of his damaged body, wanting him back even before he’d gone.  But Xander was the delicate one, and his tender feelings had to be cosseted.  Well, emotionally delicate maybe, but physically robust: Xander made his way down Spike’s body, licking, cleaning, kissing, his face and stray strands of hair becoming streaked with blood and semen and the sight rapidly made Spike hard again.  Then Xander’s mouth was investigating his balls, unfazed by the blood smeared there during their aggressive coupling, sucking and biting one then the other, and Spike wanted to come again just from feeling that.  The hot mouth nibbled its way along the rigid flesh of his cock until it sucked the swollen head into its depths momentarily before drawing back and allowing the clever tongue to concentrate on teasing another orgasm from him, and he was already so close, full of wonderment at how intensely Xander affected him.  He pushed himself up onto his elbows to watch the beautiful man with the vampire cock in his mouth, and it was the sight of Xander pumping his own bloody erection that tipped him over the edge, the speed of his climax not even giving him time to warn his lover.  As if Xander cared, groaning over his own pleasure as he coaxed every last drop from the vampire.

Still breathing heavily, Xander knelt up and straddled his partner, spreading his own semen between both palms before fulfilling his earlier promise and massaging it into Spike’s flesh, diligently working the fluid into the claim mark as the vampire lay uncharacteristically still and silent, a picture of sated contentment.

“I claim you.  You’re mine,” Xander told Spike quietly.  “I love you.”

One last touch and Xander climbed off of Spike, off the bed, pausing to switch on the electric blanket before walking into the master bathroom and turning on the shower.

 

The noise of the pouring water gave him cover.  Xander leant against the wall and wept, scared by what he’d become and what he’d allowed himself to do to Spike.  He’d never believed himself capable of harming someone he cared for: did this make him some kind of monster?  Worse still, did it make him his father?

“Xander?”

Xander started, turned his back on the misty figure outside the shower door and faced into the spray, hoping to disguise any sign of his tears.

“Yeah?”

“I need your permission to wash.”

“What?”

“The way you claimed me that last time?  I won’t wash it away without your permission.”

Xander laughed to himself: had to be a reason why the vampire hadn’t just barged in like usual.

“Come in here.”

The door slid back just enough for Spike to squeeze inside.  There was a momentary standoff before hands moved of their own accord, beginning the familiar task of washing one another, Spike witnessing Xander’s upset and reassuring him constantly that the bites and tears would soon heal, eventually resorting to the unquestionable comfort of a long hug.  He wisely omitted mentioning how stunningly beautiful he found the bitten X and how much he wished it would scar.

Despite the man looking completely exhausted, Spike was having trouble getting Xander to settle down and sleep.  Clean sheets, heat from the blanket, presence of his lover, sexually and emotionally drained, and Spike was ready to pass out, but Xander fidgeted and wriggled until Spike pinned him to his chest and demanded to be talked to.

“I have to ask and don’t be mad at me.”

“I won’t be mad.”

An embarrassed hesitation.

“Did he so much as lay a hand on you?”

Spike thought about his answer, knowing that an adamant no would simply make Xander more suspicious.

“Like a friend.  Like Willow with you.”

“Did he want more?”

“Instinctively maybe.  But I’m so bleedin’ arrogant I think everyone wants me.”  Spike felt Xander’s chuckle and squeezed.  “He showed me simple affection and that was misinterpreted.  I was a pain in the arse; he was pretty decent.”

“I’m sorry I…”

“Don’t you be sorry about anything, love.”

Spike stroked and petted, feeling Xander gradually relax.

“Will you be able to sleep without the hex?” he asked dozily.

“You’ll soon know if I can’t.”

“Have you slept without it?”

“On and off.  The last week more off than on.”

“That’s good.”  Xander began to fall asleep but jerked himself back.  “I missed you, Spike.  Did I tell you I missed you?”

“You did.”

“I did?”

“In the shower.  About a thousand times.”

“I missed you.”

“I’m here now, so shh, go to sleep.”

“I missed you.”

“I know.”

A few indistinguishable murmured words and Xander was unconscious.  Spike buried his face in the damp hair and inhaled deeply: pure Xander, pure love.  Damn, it was good to be home.

 

 

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