Just before midnight Xander tipped his dozy vampire into bed and deposited several lingering kisses on the beautiful body before covering it.  He grinned to himself, a picture of self-satisfaction, as he considered what he’d learnt during this evening.  He’d learnt the turnabout time for a vampire: with the right stimulation he could keep Spike hard and coming for hours, the recovery time being as spectacular as the vampiric healing, especially with a little of Xander’s blood in the mix.  Hence the apparently comatose vampire he lay beside.  His mouth and hands knew this creature so well now: every expanse of flesh, curve of muscle, contour of bone.  He knew the texture, the flavour, the scent.  He knew hot spots, cringe spots, ticklish spots.  He knew the accentuated line of sharp cheekbones when Spike sucked, the undulation of his throat as he swallowed, the sound of his lungs rapidly filling with oxygen as he tried to calm himself, the smell of his semen when the calming breaths didn’t work.

He also knew that Spike didn’t have the courage to call him his darling until he was teetering on the edge of orgasm.

Xander moved closer to Spike, still unable to leave him be after hours of exploration.  This persistence, this determination to understand, to know, to be able to manipulate a lover’s body, to be the best was something he’d always had but it had never been as important as it was with Spike.  After all, this was getting it right for life.

Spike stirred at the touch, relishing the attention and determined to stay awake while Xander was willing to lavish it on him.  In the past week alone he’d received more consideration than he’d had for a decade, more love than he’d known in a lifetime.

“Xander?”

“Mmm?”

Spike was gently rolled and that inquisitive mouth was on the small of his back.

“Not sleepy, love?”

“Uh-uh.”

Xander sucked his way up the vampire’s spine, vertebrae by vertebrae.

“What if we change this around a little?  Wouldn’t mind a chance to reciprocate.”

“In a while.  Humour me.”

Blunt teeth scraped over Spike’s left shoulder blade, heading for his neck, causing a familiar tremble.  Xander slid onto the hard body, insinuating himself between Spike’s legs, grinding his hard cock into the vale of his buttocks.  With a groan Spike pushed back, almost throwing the human off as he rose on his elbows and knees.

“Yes,” he hissed, “fuck me, Xander, fuck me.”

“When you’ve had more time to heal.”

“Come on, Xan, you’ve seen how fast I heal with human blood, and I’m full of the stuff.”

“Maybe I need more time to heal,” Xander said quietly, leaning down to kiss the strong back.  Spike took a deep breath, sank to the bed again, settling himself carefully to accommodate his once-again rigid cock.  Another sigh as Xander’s heat and weight covered him.  “Understand.  Please understand.”

“I do, pet.  But don’t tease, eh?”

Xander guiltily moved off of the vampire’s body, kneeling between Spike’s calves.

“You won’t risk…”

“No,” Spike snarled, before regretting his tone and speaking more kindly.  “No.  I won’t take the risk.  Won’t give your first time to him.”

“Where is he?”

“Close,” Spike answered begrudgingly.

“If I spoke to him, would he hear?”

“What do you want to speak to him for?  No, don’t even answer that.  Time for you to forget about him.  Every time you so much as say his name you stir him up, make it harder for us to go back to how we were.”

“Why do I stir him up?  He’s where he wanted to be, he kept saying he wanted things to get back to normal.”

“He desires you, Xander.”

“Sure he didn’t just use that to get you back here?”

Spike spun around faster than Xander could see; the vampire was kneeling facing him, hands trailing lovingly down his body.

“Of course he desires you.  He may be an idiot but he’s not a fool.”  Before Xander could begin to question the statement, Spike grasped him and threw him onto his back, straddling his waist.  “What are the chances of you staying put while I find some rope?”  ‘I’ll tie you down and impale myself on you.’  Xander laughed a groan.  Or groaned a laugh.  “Like that, eh?”

“Like you.”  Xander hitched up a knee and bumped Spike forward, leaning up to catch the vampire’s mouth with his own, their hands meeting and fingers intertwining.

“Trust me,” Spike whispered, serious now.

“I do tr…  With what?”

“Where’s the slick?”

“Spike…”

“Trust me.  Need you, Xan.  Please.”  Xander closed his eyes and all he could see was that shock of blood.  Spike read his mind.  “It won’t be like that again.  We’ll be careful.”  Another kiss, harder this time.  “I need you so badly.  Xander, open your eyes and look at me.  Just look at me, stop remembering.”

Xander did as he was asked, focusing on his lover.

“Why that?”

“Stop fooling yourself.  You know why that.”

“Can’t get closer,” Xander admitted softly.

“That’s right.  We can’t get closer.”

“So fuck me.”

“No.”

“You’re asking me to trust you but you won’t trust yourself.”

“Him.”

“He’s a part of you.  William and the demon make up Spike.  Make up my Spike.”

“Are you saying you want him?”

“I want you.”

Spike swung off Xander, sitting on the edge of the bed and sulking.

“Well, at this rate we all get a big fuck all.”

Xander sighed deeply, stretched, sighed again.  His body was still tingling from its last contact with Spike; it was almost as if there were some chemical reaction between them, one that left him able to glow in the dark.  He ran a hand over his chest and down onto his stomach, enjoying the sensation as toucher and touchee, aware that his erection wanted in on the touchy stuff and wondering if he should just ignore the vampire and go ahead.  A glance at Spike’s pissed off body language and Xander smiled to himself before closing his eyes and indulging himself.  His hand slid lower and he let out a murmur of appreciation as his hand alleviated his cock’s need for contact, loosely gripping the thick rod of flesh and slowly sliding his fingers over the length.  He felt Spike react to the soft noise, guessed he’d taken a look over his shoulder, then the mattress was dipping slightly under the weight of a body next to his.  He kept his touch light, too excited too quickly at the thought of Spike watching him, not wanting a rush to orgasm.  He gently teased the sensitive tip of his cock, feeling pre-come flood his fingers, wanting the fluid for lubricant as he returned to long rhythmic strokes.  The creak of pleasure that escaped his throat was matched by a muted whine of frustration from the creature beside him, and Xander wanted to look, imagining the desire on Spike’s face, but knew that a mere glimpse would make him come.

Spike was breathing, he could hear him distinctly, even over his own harsh breaths.  But if the vampire was touching himself it was not vigorously enough to send tell-tales vibrations through the mattress.  Fuck!  Xander was desperate to know, to see, to brush the hand away and put his mouth there instead, suck that fabulous cock until Spike was crying out and shooting into his throat again.  Fuck, fuck!  Shouldn’t have thought about that.  Don’t want to come yet.  Don’t.  Don’t!  Oh, fuck, want to come, want to come, wanttocomenownownow!  His hand had automatically increased pressure and speed, his body tensed, balls tightened.  The knowledge that Spike was observing, smelling, a part of every reaction was going to end this.  End this.  Head tilting back into the pillow, ragged gasps, free hand twisting in the sheets.  Spike…

“Xander,” Spike’s voice was raw.  “You’re so bloody beautiful.  You’re so…oh…oh, fuck!”

Xander felt cold semen spatter over his blazing flesh and he was coming and coming, hard, hard, hard.

Barely time to float down from the ceiling and Spike’s tongue was rasping over his body, licking up every trace of semen, taking his hand and methodically sucking each finger clean.

“You cut me out,” Spike said with disbelief.  “I was bad and you cut me out.”

“Didn’t,” Xander managed, just this side of sleep, jerking awake again as Spike’s mouth closed over his very tender cock.  “Spike!”  He pushed the vampire’s head away.  “All fucked out.  Sleep.”

“I was bad and you cut me out,” Spike repeated agitatedly.

Fuck, no, shit, waking up again, bugger, bugger, bugger.  Sigh.  Bugger, bugger, bugger?  I’ve turned into Spike.  Well, bloody, bleedin’, soddin’ ‘eck.

“And this makes you so excited why?”

“Don’t know.”

Spike crawled over Xander, taking his mouth and kissing him deeply, calming somewhat as his back and neck were stroked and massaged, but then deliberately shrugging off the touches and the calm to remain twitchy and demanding.  Xander broke the kiss with some difficulty, using an amount of force to still Spike and keep him still.

“Calm down.  Calm down.”

It was some time before Xander felt the fight leave the wiry body, and he carried on with the reassuring caresses and noises until Spike eventually stopped breathing.  Better.  Sleep.

“Second time you’ve done that in days.”

“Mmm?”

“Second time.  Makes me think.”

Xander forced himself to consciousness yet again.

“What about, sweetheart?”

“Oh, God.”

“Spike?”

“When you call me that…  Ties me in soddin’ knots inside.”

“Because you don’t like it?”

“Because I do.”

Xander pressed his mouth against the soft skin of Spike’s temple, bestowing a dozen quick kisses.

“What does it make you think?”

“That – that you don’t need me so much.”

“Okay, class, can we say neurotic?”

“Don’t take the piss.”

“We’re going to go to sleep, Spike.  You’re going to remember that you’re loved and wanted and needed and then we’re going to sleep.  Why the hell should you feel insecure?”

“Because you left me.”

“But that was when I was younger and stupider.  Nothing like that will happen again.”

“Everyone leaves me.”

Xander rolled them, manhandling Spike onto his side and facing away from Xander so the human could snuggle up behind him and hold him tight.

“But I’m here now, and we’re together, and that’s how we’re staying.  Now, is there any chance you could stop being the most annoying vampire in the whole fucking world and let me go to sleep?”

Beat.

“Maybe.”

Xander could hear the pout and smiled.  He buried his face in the blond hair and nuzzled.

“What’ll it take?”

“D’know.”

“Have to go back to tying you in a chair, I guess.”  Xander’s lips drifted over the nape of Spike’s neck, just touching, making the vampire shiver with every exhalation.  “Want to go in a chair?”

“Wanna be with Xander,” Spike whispered.

“I’ll tie you to the bed then.”  Sharp gasp from the vampire and he was wriggling back against Xander’s body, trying to achieve maximum contact.  “Keep you nice ‘n’ close.”

“Yes.”

Xander leant up on one arm, tilting forward and mouthing Spike’s neck, dragging his tongue tantalizingly over his mark.  Spike’s hand rose and buried itself in Xander’s hair, urging closer contact, urging him to bite.

“Want this?”

“Xander…yes.”

“Then you go to sleep?”

“Promise.”  A scrape of teeth and Spike broke into rasping breaths.  “Promise, promise.”

“Not going to get all excited and need me to work that amazing cock of yours until you come yet again?”

“No.  No, I’m good.  Fine.  I’m…”  Spike’s voice disintegrated into a groan as Xander probed the wounded flesh with his tongue.  “I’m yours.  Make me yours.”  Another groan as Xander’s hand wrapped around the vampire’s erection, immediately falling into a punishing rhythm.  Fresh burst of panting.  “Xander, please, yes, please…”

“You don’t want this then?”  Xander squeezed, Spike thrust into his fist.  “Suppose you’re not going to come when I bite you?  ‘Cause you’re not going to get all excited, you’re good, you’re fine,” Xander teased.  A gentle suck on Spike’s neck and he was trembling with need, hand clenching spasmodically in Xander’s hair.  Chip.  “Let go of my hair.  Put your hand over mine.”  Spike automatically did as he was told, falling in with the established rhythm.  “Enjoy that now because you won’t be able to do it when I tie you down.  I’m gonna make you my fuck-toy and you’ll be at my mercy.  Ready.  Available.  Convenient.  I’ll be forever filling you up or milking you dry.”  Xander heard the frustrated whine start and smiled, licking the mark again and making Spike’s hand tighten over his, increase the pace.  “Well, I did promise I was going to keep you naked and fuck you constantly.  But I guess when I said it, you thought you’d have a choice.”

“Xander, Xander, now,” Spike pleaded hoarsely.  “Darling Xander…”

Spike cried out as teeth fastened on his neck, bucking against the hands holding him as his semen spurted over the bed.

Xander’s bite gradually turned into a caress, and he lapped at the mark until the vampire’s healing kicked in, sealing the clumsy punctures within seconds.

“Nice?” he asked conversationally.

“Oh…  Fuck,” came the eloquent response from the dazed vampire.

“That a good fuck, or an indifferent fuck?”

“Good.  Better than good.”

Spike’s hand slowly unfurled and Xander was able to retrieve his own.  Accepting that the sheets would have to go into the washer the following day – make that a few hours time – Xander grabbed a handful to wipe himself and Spike clean.

“Come to Xander.”  Xander helped the boneless figure turn and he cradled Spike to him, showering him with gentle kisses.  He wanted to relax and sleep but guilt nagged at him, refusing to let him forget what he’d said.  “Spike…”

“Sleeping.”

“Can you wake up, just for a couple of minutes?”  Pause.  “Spike?”

“’Kay.”

“You awake?”

“Think so.  Need me to…”  And a cool hand was sliding down Xander’s body, only to be caught and held.

“No, not that.  Spike…  Spike, I have to ask you something.”

The worry in Xander’s voice roused Spike; blue eyes flickered open and fixed on brown, and the vampire frowned as Xander’s gaze flitted away.

“Yes, love?”

“What I said…”

Spike chuckled quietly.

“Never met anyone who could push my buttons like you do.  Then again, I never met anyone who wanted to.  When you…”

“Spike?”

“Oh, right.  When you said what?”

“That you didn’t have a choice.”

The vampire snuggled closer.

“You getting upset over that?  Come off it, love.  Even if you actually did what you were talking about it’d be a whole lot different from being pinned down and raped,” he reassured, determinedly not reacting to Xander’s distress at his bluntness.  “It’s like pain.  It’s in my nature to get off on some kinds of pain.  You hurt me when you claimed me but it was a treat and I loved it.  You bite me and it makes me want to come.  Someone else hurts me and it’s just pain.  The chip is just pain.”

“I don’t want to say anything that reminds you of what happened.  I should be more careful.”

“If you being more careful means I don’t get what you just did to me then I don’t want you to be careful.  You reckon I was able to think beyond that picture you were painting?  Don’t underestimate yourself.”

“But you would tell me…”

“You’d know.”

Xander sighed a deep, relieved sigh, glad that he hadn’t made a bad mistake.  There was still the fear that anything too emotive would send the demon fleeing and throw William out.  Not that he’d be sad to see William, but he knew it wasn’t the best thing for any of them.  Change the subject, his common sense told him, and he began mentally reliving the evening’s events.  Chuckling to himself, he hugged Spike, feeling the slight start as he woke.

“I’m never gonna get tired of playing with you,” he said with a soft laugh.  “To see you come and come and keep getting hard…  Amazing.”

“No playing.  I’m not a toy, Xander,” Spike attempted, unsuccessfully, to sound annoyed.

“You don’t want to be my Action Man?  Obviously the lifelike genitalia special edition.”

“Inaction man.  Got to sleep.”

Xander ran a hand over the smooth, ivory skin.

“No more playing,” he sighed, heavy on the wistful.

Spike managed to snatch back a purr initiated by Xander’s touch.

“Umm…  Maybe a bit.  Play a bit.”

“Then that would make you…fraction man.”  Spike groaned.  “Sorry.”  More thought, bigger smile.  “How many times was that?”

“Seven.”

“Seven,” Xander repeated with glee.  “Okay.  Totally prepared for overwhelming feelings of inadequacy.  What’s the record?”

“Seven.”

“You don’t mean…  You mean tonight?”  Nod.  “I got you to come more than anyone else ever did?”

“No-one else ever…”  And Xander felt that niggling in his chest that he always experienced when Spike told him stuff.  “It’s never been like this with anyone else.  No-one else cared this much.  Or at all.  I’ve always been…I d’know…left to take what I could. And I—”  Spike stopped abruptly, kissed and cuddled Xander.  “Have to go to sleep.”

“Yeah, and me.  Love you.”

“I love you too, Xander.  I love you so bloody much.  Don’t ever leave me.”

“Never.  Go to sleep.”

Xander thought about pulling the sheet over them but couldn’t be bothered to move.  In all honesty, the combination of the house’s warmth and the electric blanket made it possible to never have covers on the bed again.  But there was a distinct disadvantage: Spike may worry about Xander leaving, but it was doubtful that he would even manage to leave for work of a morning with that much vampire flesh exposed.

Magnificent.  He’s magnificent.  Xander couldn’t understand why no-one else had taken the vampire in hand – literally – and enjoyed him this much.  But if they had maybe he wouldn’t need me.  Guilty again, this time for rejoicing in Spike’s unlife of neglect, Xander resolved to make up for every lonely hour or moment of frustration.  Probably take a lifetime.

A lifetime.  Xander smiled.  Luckily, he had one to spare.

Repossession 26       Repossession Index       Repossession Notes

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